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  1. #1
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    Texas anti-masturbation bill moves closer to becoming law

    Under the Man’s Right to Know Act, Texan men would be fined $100 for every 'unregulated masturbatory emission' - although they may be reassured to learn this is a satirical bill highlighting how women have been targeted by anti-abortion laws.

    Texas state representative Jessica Farrar has proposed her bill become law on September 1
    A bill that would see Texas men fined $100 (£82) for masturbating has taken a step closer to becoming law after it received its first reading in the state’s House of Representatives.

    Under section 173.010 of House Bill 4260, the Man’s Right to Know Act, Texas men would only be allowed to masturbate under supervision, inside approved health care and medical facilities.

    Any “unregulated masturbatory emissions outside of a woman’s vagina, or created outside of a health or medical facility, will be charged a $100 civil penalty for each emission, and will be considered an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.”

    The bill, created by state representative Jessica Farrar of Houston, would also promote “fully abstinent sexual relations” and create a “Hospital Masturbatory Assistance Registry” to “provide fully-abstinent encouragement counselling, supervising physicians for masturbatory emissions, and storage for the semen.”

    Allowing Texas men only “occasional” masturbatory emissions inside the approved facilities, the bill would insist that the resulting semen be “stored for the purposes of conception for a current or future wife.”

    After receiving its first reading, the bill has now been referred to the Texas House State Affairs Committee. Ms Farrar has proposed that it become law on September 1.

    But before the men of Texas panic, (or head obediently to their nearest health facility), they should note that Ms Farrar is not being entirely serious.

    The Texas Democrat knows her bill has no hope of becoming law, and has introduced it to satirise how women have been affected by targeted healthcare legislation in her state, particularly relating to abortion.

    Hence the references to “sanctity of life” and anti-masturbation clauses that appear to take Monty Python’s advice that “every sperm is sacred” to its logical, legal conclusion.

    Emphasising the need for full male abstinence, it comes three months after Republican Tony Tinderhold proposed criminalising abortion in Texas, arguing it would make women “more personally responsible” about their sexual behaviour.

    Ms Farrar’s bill also insists that any doctor providing a vasectomy or prescribing Viagra must first read a ‘Man’s Right to Know’ booklet with the patient.

    This, Ms Farrar has said, is a response to current Texas law which obliges doctors to give women considering an abortion a “Women’s Right to Know” booklet. Ms Farrar has criticised this as a “guilt mechanism” to get the woman to change her mind.

    She has also criticised the Texas law requiring a woman to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound before she can have an abortion as an “invasive, medically unnecessary procedure [where] one of the state's objectives is to guilt her into changing her mind."

    So her bill also insists: “An attending physician must administer a medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam and magnetic resonance imagining of the rectum before administering an elective vasectomy or colonoscopy procedure or prescribing Viagra.”

    When in less satirical mood, Ms Farrar has previously sought to abolish the death penalty in Texas and is currently trying to get a bill passed that would require healthcare facilities to provide information on emergency contraception to sexual assault survivors.

    The near-impossibility of her satirical Man’s Right to Know bill becoming law is underlined by the fact that for it to pass, the Texas House State Affairs Committee chairman, Republican Byron Cook, would have to hold a public hearing on the measure.

    Which is unlikely given that Mr Cook has filed or supported some of the bills criticised by Texas abortion rights activists.

    For Ms Farrar, though, that might just sharpen the satire.

    Texas anti-masturbation bill moves closer to becoming law | The Independent
    “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I said, you are gods’? John 10:34.

  2. #2
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    How would you inforce this bill?

  3. #3
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    Holy McFoley. Them Ameericans will be pulling their plonkers in anger outside the House of Representatives demanding the right to wank in peace.

  4. #4
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    Considering Texans are such big time wankers it could be a big earner for the state.
    I assume the law will be applied on an honesty box type system.




  5. #5
    god
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    I bet she's got on the short list as Supervisor of Wanking (SoW)

  6. #6
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    Texas lawmaker ridicules anti-abortion measures by filing anti-masturbation bill
    Jessica Farrar’s satirical Man’s Right to Know Act would set $100 fine for ‘emissions outside a woman’s vagina’ and require unnecessary medical tests


    A Texas lawmaker has filed a satirical bill to regulate “masturbatory emissions” as a riposte to a slew of anti-abortion measures advocated by the state’s Republican politicians.

    The proposed act takes the language and concepts used by conservatives to limit abortions and swaps the sexes.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...jessica-farrar

  7. #7
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    This story was discussed on TD nearly a month ago.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Fecking Texas wankers will all be coming over here? Oh wait......

  9. #9
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    In the interests of sexual equality, female masturbation needs to be targeted too.

  10. #10
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    ^ Especially, the squirters...

  11. #11
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    What about people (of all genders) who masturbate each other?

  12. #12
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    That's a sticky one...

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Does f*cking a watermelon count?

  14. #14
    god
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    Probably.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maanaam View Post
    This story was discussed on TD nearly a month ago.
    Well then how does male ejaculation = female abortion

  16. #16
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    Every sperm is sacred.

  17. #17
    god
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    Are sperm emancipated?

  18. #18
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    Slowly getting it, sperm is made up of life, and life is sacred, therefore wanking off is not a sin, it's only when you abort life you've sinned.

  19. #19
    god
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    The friggin concept of sin, religion's most useful blackmail device used to scare the shit and money out of the gullible masses and keep them under control.

    To sin, means to err, which means to make a mistake, as in missing a target, or slipping on a banana skin, no more nor less.

    It's a mistake to kill anything, as it upsets the symbiotic nature of life......or to knowingly or unknowingly cause any kind of fwkup.

    Any error is a sin. So what? Just don't repeat the mistake or there'll be hell to pay if someone can pin it on you.

  20. #20
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    So ejaculation of sperm is a sin if it's done for self pleasure.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    What next. If a woman discards an unfertilised egg will she face prosecution every month for manslaughter?

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    So ejaculation of sperm is a sin if it's done for self pleasure.
    What makes you think that? Are you a religious man?

  23. #23
    god
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic View Post
    What next. If a woman discards an unfertilised egg will she face prosecution every month for manslaughter?
    Why would she?

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by ENT View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    So ejaculation of sperm is a sin if it's done for self pleasure.
    What makes you think that? Are you a religious man?
    No not at all religious but I do rather take great pleasure in laughing at religion , it's therapeutic for Me as it helps shed away the conditioning by religion I had as a kid .
    I used to believe in those fairy tales, now I enjoy laughing about it.

  25. #25
    god
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    A healthy catharsis then?

    Seems to be a common experience among atheists.

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