Thread: UK Pension - You'll be dead before you get it, so don't bother.

Originally Posted by rickschoppers

I would think SA was a very difficult child to be around in school and would have "Does not play well with others" written on every report card. Haven't changed a bit, eh SA?

Other than that he is a great (moron) guy

Now run to the mods SA and report me again

Originally Posted by rickschoppers

I would think SA was a very difficult child to be around in school and would have "Does not play well with others" written on every report card. Haven't changed a bit, eh SA?

It's a tragedy to watch a below-average mind like his deteriorate so publicly.

So, just how the fuck would you know given your intellectual prowess is measured in fucking gerbil fart, you prolix posing tit twat.

Originally Posted by David48atTD

In an Australian context, the OAP (old age pension) is/was designed to be a social security safety net to provide, to the very needy, a safety net.
It's NOT a Right.

It's NOT a Privilege.

It's a Safety Net.

Originally the OZ pension scheme was similar to the UK system, think it was a penny in the pound.
The government wanted the money, a long long time ago to be fair and took the pension contributions into general revenue, saying that all Australians would get the pension no matter their contributions.

Over the 50 odd years, they have changed the rules, now it's welfare, but you still pay into it in the form of taxes.

The superannuation schemes now in place are a form of tax, but using private companies to collect it, no fixed returns, company goes under, loses money, no pension.

Really sad to see people, I know, who thought they were covered by private pensions and the government, having to sell up their homes just to make ends meet.

I will never get a pension here, non resident, 6 month out of country, considered some kind of defector.

OAP wouldn't even get you a retirement visa in a 3rd world country like Thailand, if it's not enough to live in Thailand, what hope in Australia.

System is broken.

Originally Posted by buriramboy

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Originally Posted by buriramboy

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

I thought you needed a minimum of 30 years contributions to be entitled to the state pension.

That's to get the full amount, as long as have 10 qualifying years you'll get something, you can check how much you will get here, I'll get £65 a week!!!!!

That's because you are a lazy, shiftless, feckless wanker.

No it is because i'm 43 and only have 13 full qualifying years due to fleeing an arrest warrant for 10 years. There is an option to pay for the missing years but not worth it as unlike you I will never need the state pension because I will be in a prison.

Telling it the way it is.

Har, har.

^Another afternoon in soi 6 I presume.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

So, just how the fuck would you know given your intellectual prowess is measured in fucking gerbil fart, you prolix posing tit twat.

Something tells me you’re going to be found strangled to death with the cock of dead Nigerian ladyboy tied round your neck, and you clutching a teddy bear with the tear-stained torn shreds of a photo of the father that never loved you rammed right up its arsehole and stuffed into its ears, whilst Karen Carpenter plays in the background, and your empty dead shell of a soul tumbles slowly for all eternity into a cold black abyss with memories of things you wish you’d said and done melting all around you; and the only thing you’ll hear is the word “stupid” echoing forever.

Don't give up your day job, if you have one, you can't write for shit.

I though the nemo was quite creative, worthy of a thread in it's own right.
Maybe we should have a creative insults TD writting competition 2017? You'd be in with a medal chance seekingslum/ass if only you'd use some variety in your monotonous repetitive diatribes.

I don't worry about My British state pension because of forward planning of all governments in their time made sure that the future of the elderly state pension would be taken care of by.
Allowing millions of unskilled migrants to settle, because these migrants are happy to work hard for U.K. Pensioners in old age.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Don't give up your day job, if you have one, you can't write for shit.

I'm writing for you aren't I? If a turd could develop cancer, it would form pustules of your face, and would never flush... which would be a metaphor for your consistent inadequacy as a human being, and your lack of a decent comeback.
Can't you find a window in your condo to jump out of? Or is there a queue of your neighbours fighting to the front of it to get away from you?

Originally Posted by Iceman123

I left the U.K. In 2000. I paid into the NI scheme for 26 years am I entitled to a U.K. Pension when I reach 65?

Am I right in assuming that it is not means tested?

You can get answers her: pensionsadvisoryservice.org.uk

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Don't give up your day job, if you have one, you can't write for shit.

I'm writing for you aren't I? If a turd could develop cancer, it would form pustules of your face, and would never flush... which would be a metaphor for your consistent inadequacy as a human being, and your lack of a decent comeback.
Can't you find a window in your condo to jump out of? Or is there a queue of your neighbours fighting to the front of it to get away from you?

Boy they named him right... but there is no cure for being a moron and SA will never find the asylum he so desperately craves.

In the mean time, just when I think he can't get any dumber, he exceeds my expectations

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Don't give up your day job, if you have one, you can't write for shit.

I'm writing for you aren't I? If a turd could develop cancer, it would form pustules of your face, and would never flush... which would be a metaphor for your consistent inadequacy as a human being, and your lack of a decent comeback.
Can't you find a window in your condo to jump out of? Or is there a queue of your neighbours fighting to the front of it to get away from you?

Clumsy, incoherent, illogical, poorly constructed and childishly contrived in an inept style redolent of any typical TD poster struggling to express his enfeebled self unhampered by a decent education or intelligence.

Give it up, boy. You really are not very good, at best you are merely a soi dog running with the pack and snapping at my heels.

Go find another post to cock that little hind leg of yours over, you are pissing in the wind here.

Har, Har or should I say, 'arf, ' arf.

I left the U.K. In 2000. I paid into the NI scheme for 26 years am I entitled to a U.K. Pension when I reach 65?

Am I right in assuming that it is not means tested?

Yes & yes. I effectively left the UK in 1981, but paid voluntary contributions whilst in other parts of the world, amounting to about 17 years of contributions. I get 87 quid a week, no tax. It is taxed and deducted from the State Pension I receive in my home country (NZ), but not index-linked. That shortfall is made up by the NZ government (a Social Security agreement exists between the two governments). Different arrangements exist in other countries.

Originally Posted by wasabi

I don't worry about My British state pension because of forward planning of all governments in their time made sure that the future of the elderly state pension would be taken care of by.
Allowing millions of unskilled migrants to settle, because these migrants are happy to work hard for U.K. Pensioners in old age.

I guess you must have been asked to fill in the forms while you were still capable of making some semblance of sense, which was a stroke of luck.

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

It's beginning to make some careers non-viable - people working in science and education for example

An ex wife of mine is up for 40% of her final salary. She is a teacher.

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

I can't believe I get my State Pension come September.

Have you received a notification from the Pensions Service?

Originally Posted by OhOh

Have you received a notification from the Pensions Service?

On their web site it says they will contact me 4 months prior to the day. Have done an online check and received notification I get the full 155 Quid per week.

Were you not contracted out as army personnel? How did you do an online check of the DWP from Thailand? You can't access the UK DWP portal unless you are within the UK. When you say you get the full £155 is that info from the basic YouGov website when you put in your d.o.b., gender and number of years contributions?

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Originally Posted by CaptainNemo

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Don't give up your day job, if you have one, you can't write for shit.

I'm writing for you aren't I? If a turd could develop cancer, it would form pustules of your face, and would never flush... which would be a metaphor for your consistent inadequacy as a human being, and your lack of a decent comeback.
Can't you find a window in your condo to jump out of? Or is there a queue of your neighbours fighting to the front of it to get away from you?

Clumsy, incoherent, illogical, poorly constructed and childishly contrived in an inept style redolent of any typical TD poster struggling to express his enfeebled self unhampered by a decent education or intelligence.

Give it up, boy. You really are not very good, at best you are merely a soi dog running with the pack and snapping at my heels.

Go find another post to cock that little hind leg of yours over, you are pissing in the wind here.

Har, Har or should I say, 'arf, ' arf.

If cancer found out it was related to you, it would kill itself.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Were you not contracted out as army personnel? How did you do an online check of the DWP from Thailand? You can't access the UK DWP portal unless you are within the UK. When you say you get the full £155 is that info from the basic YouGov website when you put in your d.o.b., gender and number of years contributions?

1. No. But may be things changed in latter years?
2. This and other DWP sites are available. https://www.gov.uk/browse/working/state-pension
3. Yes based on over 30 years contributions.

Did you log in to the govt Gateway system from here in Thailand?

I thought you were in the army?

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Did you log in to the govt Gateway system from here in Thailand?

I have logged into Gateway from here. Firstly to find out what taxes I pay. For my Pension I was told I was too early.

It just goes to show you how little these politicians and policy makers know about actual work.
Lazy civil servant wankers have never done manual labour, or even a proper days work
I see a lot of brickies, carpenters,roofers etc bodies are not able to work past 55 , repetitive strain and general over use of their bodies
How the fuck can they work until 70 they don't give a fuck for the average man.
These guys will probably end up on invalidity benefits and get more money than their pension

I haven't paid a stamp since 1987, yet apparently if I give them 7 grand I'm entitled to a pension of 155 quid a week when I'm 67.

Fucking hell, if I'd known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.