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  1. Replies
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    Philistines that drank Guinness and were happy. ...

    Philistines that drank Guinness and were happy.

    Orrens
    Theres more to life than drink. But I haven't found it.
  2. Replies
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    I have been told you can get decent Guinness in...

    I have been told you can get decent Guinness in Bangkok. That for me would be a deal maker.

    AID's riddled zombie brain eating whores. Thats normal for me.

    Orrens
    Go where your soul takes you
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    Why did I move to Thailand A bar so big you see...

    Why did I move to Thailand
    A bar so big you see the curve of the earth (maybe). Brews its own beers. BUT £7-8 a pint. In the city, I hate those wankers. But if I was in London I would check it out....
  4. Man convicted of having sex with a pile of...

    Man convicted of having sex with a pile of leaves.

    He was spotted by a family having a meal in a restaurant. "Oh look mummy, whats that man doing ?" "Never mind just eat your dinner."
    ...
  5. Thread: Breakfast

    by Orrens
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    Six months coming up. Orrens The source of...

    Six months coming up.

    Orrens
    The source of the thunder.
  6. Thread: Tea or Coffee?

    by Orrens
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    I didn't know that. I haven't seen any in the...

    I didn't know that. I haven't seen any in the shops. Recommend a brand ?

    Orrens
  7. Thread: Breakfast

    by Orrens
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    101,101

    Walking through Jomtien this am and I saw a sign...

    Walking through Jomtien this am and I saw a sign for a Norwegian breakfast. I passed on it as it looked like puke on a plate.
    Went to Surf Kitchen on the beach road. Mistake.
    A full English was...
  8. Thread: Tea or Coffee?

    by Orrens
    Replies
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    2,177

    Sainsburys dark roast is a real heartstarter....

    Sainsburys dark roast is a real heartstarter. Brought over 5 bags which is good as the price of coffee in Jomtien is so expensive.
    This surprises me as if the Vietnamese can make their own coffee...
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    Re rubbing alcohol. Dude- I seriously hope you...

    Re rubbing alcohol.
    Dude- I seriously hope you are joking. Methylated spirits is alcohol sure- but it is mixed with 10% methanol - and that stuff is damn toxic. Even a small intake can make you go...
  10. Collops. With the absence of a Berkel (tm)...

    Collops.

    With the absence of a Berkel (tm) bacon slicr you may be making collops. Heres the history.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collops

    You might also be making salt pork (and molasses is...
  11. You do realise the next project will be making...

    You do realise the next project will be making your own cheese...

    Fankhausers cheese page is good. And I have a recipe for making your own amercian processed cheese. As you would expect its cheese...
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    No neither can I. Thats why its not in writing....

    No neither can I. Thats why its not in writing. Please confine your ignorance.

    Orrens
    Tiger Balm is a drug
  13. Thread: Breakfast

    by Orrens
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    Is that enough vodka ? Orrens Caring but not...

    Is that enough vodka ?

    Orrens
    Caring but not sharing
  14. Replies
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    If women claim equality in all matters then there...

    If women claim equality in all matters then there follows equal responsibility.
    Look now at crimes where a man gets 16 years+ and woman gets a lesser sentence. So many excuses for female behaviour...
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    Over privileged over self centric over victim...

    Over privileged over self centric over victim slapper.

    She wouldn't get a lady drink out of me.

    I don't have an Instagram account. Can I pretend I have one and that I am an influencer for old...
  16. Thread: Dinner

    by Orrens
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    RE Norwegian cuisine. As crappy wikipedia...

    RE Norwegian cuisine. As crappy wikipedia articles go this is really bad. Even the writer admits its "restricted".
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_cuisine

    I am not going to Norway until I...
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    Theres some damn attractive goats on Teak Door. ...

    Theres some damn attractive goats on Teak Door.

    Whats the bar fine ? Head of cabbage, pack of carrots.

    Orrens
    Sensuality at a subterranean level
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    Lightweight. A teaspoonful in a pint of hot...

    Lightweight.
    A teaspoonful in a pint of hot flavoured water equals 5% ABV. As I wrote I upped everything so it was more like a pint of strong wine. I did it but I wouldn't do it again.
    Bit like...
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    No not the books as I didn't like his writing...

    No not the books as I didn't like his writing style. The film however "Master and Commander" was a masterpiece and I am surprised there wasn't a sequel.

    For Shackleton: For midwinter’s day...
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    Have you considered getting a beer making kit...

    Have you considered getting a beer making kit together. It may taste crap but there you have 40 pints of winning, beating the man..

    Alternatively I can provide a Shackleton cocktail recipe which...
  21. Unless its a carvery or you're skint and finding...

    Unless its a carvery or you're skint and finding food in the freezer I disagree with mixed meats making a meal.
    Each to their own but the usual penalty for mixing foods is crucifixion.
    Or if in...
  22. Thread: Dinner

    by Orrens
    Replies
    22,819
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    934,194

    Why does nobody compliment Chityy on his...

    Why does nobody compliment Chityy on his presentation ?
    4 sausages make a square. The mash is round. The beans could be in a star shape.
    Yes I am autistic

    Orrens
    Collecting bedbugs
  23. Thread: Breakfast

    by Orrens
    Replies
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    101,101

    I am on my third Chang with 2 litres of Oz white...

    I am on my third Chang with 2 litres of Oz white to follow. I have some Sang Som but no coke so I might just scream and bellow from the balcony till someone brings me some.

    After that I am going...
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    Bread looks nice. Multigrain ? Orrens Common...

    Bread looks nice. Multigrain ?

    Orrens
    Common sense posterboy.
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    NO NO NO ! Make the sauce then add part cooked...

    NO NO NO !

    Make the sauce then add part cooked meats and simmer.
    New potatoes or babies. Not a whole spud.
    Drinking San Miguel out of a Stella Artois glass ? You have no class.
    I am so upset I...
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    No flambe with lao khaow ? Lightweight. ...

    No flambe with lao khaow ?

    Lightweight.

    Orrens
    Arsonist in chief
  27. Ever heard of Google ? Whilst there ask about a...

    Ever heard of Google ?
    Whilst there ask about a Gemoot or a Wapentaken. All good clean fun if you don't mind blood and missing limbs.

    I am in Jomtien but thinking of Portugal after Brexit. Maybe...
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    According to Wikipedia he was 78 and swimming in...

    According to Wikipedia he was 78 and swimming in the ocean. Looking around me I see dead people walking.

    I am a cynical bastard.

    Orrens
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    He was a mate of Arnold Schwarzenegger and...

    He was a mate of Arnold Schwarzenegger and appeared as a minor character in several of his films.

    Respect.

    I would have liked a few beers with him.

    Orrens
    Is life too short or too long ?
  30. Replies
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    I met ( and pissed it up) with a sewage diver. He...

    I met ( and pissed it up) with a sewage diver. He swam throgh the sewers identifying brickwork to get fixed and blockages he could sort.

    He wore no Kirby Morgan (Head n mask) nor a positive...
  31. Thread: Sauce

    by Orrens
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    Simple garlic sauce. INGREDIENTS: 4...

    Simple garlic sauce.

    INGREDIENTS:


    4 bulbs garlic, cloves separated and peeled
    1 cup lemon juice
    1 teaspoon salt
    3 cups olive oil
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    Do they nowt have tinternet tup Barnsley? ...

    Do they nowt have tinternet tup Barnsley?

    Wrong !

    "Nae internet hup Barnsley-way then lad ?"

    Orrens
    Chang is not an answer but it is a way.
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    Do you go down to the floor as in full squat or...

    Do you go down to the floor as in full squat or down to a bench ? Full heavy squats are bad for the knees but great for the ego. Unless you follow through.

    I don't think its a worthwhile goal as...
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    Heres the two versions. Milk and Vino da collapso...

    Heres the two versions. Milk and Vino da collapso

    Serious Ragł Bolognese

    Can't find the vino one anymore. You add vino san's tomato and reduce till almost dry. Then add more vino and tomatoes...
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    Re Flores. I was scuba diving on the island some...

    Re Flores.
    I was scuba diving on the island some years back and said I wanted to see the dragons on Komodo. Couldn't be done. 3 days on ferries to get there then several days to get sorted.

    I am...
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    Isaac Newton didn't explain it in Ruskian. ...

    Isaac Newton didn't explain it in Ruskian.

    Orrens
    Dangerous when wet
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    I was watching a program about Lawrence of...

    I was watching a program about Lawrence of Arabia.
    The arabs couldn't pronounce Lawrence so they used the nearest sound Orrens. The picture is of his younger self.
    I didn't know then he was into...
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    Is that Donald Trump and why is he leading the...

    Is that Donald Trump and why is he leading the dog on ?

    Orrens
    An artist of the sunken world
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    After Chernobyl the Sami people couldn't eat...

    After Chernobyl the Sami people couldn't eat reindeer meat for X time as their herds eat lichen so the story has some truth.

    Personally I don't eat crabs as I don't go down on unshaven muffs.
    ...
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    Frozen mackerel is a quid each (37thb) in...

    Frozen mackerel is a quid each (37thb) in Lewisham market. Slightly more for fresh. Why is vaguely fresh fish so expensive ?

    Its not like they grow it or otherwise nurture.

    Orrens
    Aggrieved...
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    It doesn't open till later. According to friends....

    It doesn't open till later. According to friends.

    Orrens
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    The real breakfast of champions is a tumbler of...

    The real breakfast of champions is a tumbler of Jack Daniels with a Chang chaser.
    Its healthy, tastes good and is ready in seconds.

    You are what you eat. Scots eat porridge. I need say no more....
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    Porridge is officially disgusting. Sweetened baby...

    Porridge is officially disgusting. Sweetened baby diahorrea.

    Orrens
    Ultimate arbiter of the known and unknown universe.
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    My attitude to healthy food is eat what you cook...

    My attitude to healthy food is eat what you cook yourself. I am happy to eat out but for the everyday life self cooked food is the way to go. If something doesn't agree with you then you can find...
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    I'm wearing worse right now. Its a bugger in the...

    I'm wearing worse right now. Its a bugger in the hot weather as the tape fails and it slips off or catches on my MAGA baseball cap and comes off entirely.

    Not good for sexy winkley man.

    Orrens
  46. Thread: Breakfast

    by Orrens
    Replies
    2,922
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    101,101

    Hey BIP, ever considered getting a second hand...

    Hey BIP, ever considered getting a second hand fridge and making your own bacon. According to the web writers its easy if you have the salt and the storage IE the fridge.

    Also you could charge...
  47. My last marriage was to a kiwi. Took me for...

    My last marriage was to a kiwi. Took me for everything. So no longer stay silent about the Haka and how NZ has the best sportsmen in the world. Also that her family was a bunch of dumbfucks who were...
  48. Wankers. No natural NZ culture save incest so...

    Wankers.
    No natural NZ culture save incest so they appropriate a cannibal culture.

    Orrens
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    I thought they had Parma Violets for that:...

    I thought they had Parma Violets for that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parma_Violets

    So your intestinal cough smells like lavender. Doesn't work if you follow through.

    Orrens
    I should get...
  50. I'd had a tough day at the office. Cut me some...

    I'd had a tough day at the office.

    Cut me some slack will ya.

    Orrens
    In gods natural state.
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