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  1. Replies
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    Nice idea. Apart from the fact that she's made...

    Nice idea. Apart from the fact that she's made fuck all effort to learn the golden language already.
  2. Thread: Breakfast

    by hallelujah
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    101,688

    FBI Fuckwit Being Idiotic Forum's Biggest...

    FBI

    Fuckwit Being Idiotic
    Forum's Biggest Imbecile
    Fuckin Bellend Infinitive

    The list is endless!

    Who could ever say that Jeff was limited in his scope?
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    I was gonna mention that he'd benefit from my...

    I was gonna mention that he'd benefit from my last link, but I reckon he'd be better off starting with the kids' stuff. ;)
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    Air Asia are absolute fuckers to get a refund out...

    Air Asia are absolute fuckers to get a refund out of at the best of times.
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    I posted these on the other thread: Useful for...

    I posted these on the other thread:

    Useful for all children, especially those with kids in Thailand (or elsewhere) who are learning English:

    British Council LearnEnglish Kids | Free online...
  6. Thread: Breakfast

    by hallelujah
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    Aye aye, here he is. I guessed the recent...

    Aye aye, here he is. I guessed the recent comments would be like catnip for the FBI and he didn't disappoint.

    The Forum's Biggest Idiot.
  7. Thread: Breakfast

    by hallelujah
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    101,688

    Vietnam too. Although the baguettes on the...

    Vietnam too.

    Although the baguettes on the street there are still hit and miss they're still better than the aching disappointment of your ham sandwich being coated in 7 tbsp of sugar.

    You've...
  8. Thread: Breakfast

    by hallelujah
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    Pretty much standard for most countries in SE...

    Pretty much standard for most countries in SE Asia outside of the big cites. You bite into that lovely looking bread roll and are rocked back on your feet by the sugar hit.

    Nasty stuff.

    Rural...
  9. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    A yank sandwich and he's managed not to put a...

    A yank sandwich and he's managed not to put a shitload of fries/random fried junk with it?

    I think he deserves some credit. ;-)
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    ^ Probably just investigating possible cures for...

    ^ Probably just investigating possible cures for Corona.
  11. Useful for all children, especially those with...

    Useful for all children, especially those with kids in Thailand (or elsewhere) who are learning English:

    British Council LearnEnglish Kids | Free online games, songs, stories and activities for...
  12. An old mate of mine used to photograph aspiring...

    An old mate of mine used to photograph aspiring Page 3 birds. The amount of shags he got out of that...
  13. Thread: Breakfast

    by hallelujah
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    101,688

    ^^^ Proper sosiges. Those Edwards ones are...

    ^^^ Proper sosiges.

    Those Edwards ones are Welsh, aren't they?
  14. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    I don't even have to worry about chewing either....

    I don't even have to worry about chewing either. ;)
  15. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    This weeks soup is one of my favourites: leek and...

    This weeks soup is one of my favourites: leek and potato.

    47685

    The pan on the left has the remainder of a chicken stock I made at the weekend with some bones, celery, onions and garlic. Well...
  16. It must have been a difficult day in the Star...

    It must have been a difficult day in the Star editorial offices when they stop allowing tits out in the national newspapers. ;)
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    Those hot dogs and toppings look like good...

    Those hot dogs and toppings look like good drunken beer food.

    How were the hot dogs themselves?
  18. I wonder which would come out as the worst of the...

    I wonder which would come out as the worst of the worst in a shit-off between the Daily Express, the Daily Mail, the Daily Star and the Sun?

    I'd imagine the Mail would top the list for its sheer...
  19. Thread: Manwiches

    by hallelujah
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    33,703

    Needs octopus.

    Needs octopus.
  20. Thread: Manwiches

    by hallelujah
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    33,703

    Garcon! Les Petits pois! YouTube...

    Garcon! Les Petits pois!

    YouTube

    Buenos Aires
  21. Thread: Manwiches

    by hallelujah
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    ^^ Chits, one thing that's really bothering me. A...

    ^^ Chits, one thing that's really bothering me. A really little thing, but it's doin' me 'ed in.

    You don't need to say at Chez Chitty. Chez already means at the home of, so Chez Chitty is...
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    I'm self isolating and off the beer indefinitely....

    I'm self isolating and off the beer indefinitely. It's hell.
  23. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    How long are you gonna be living on the memory of...

    How long are you gonna be living on the memory of this fucking piece of crackling? ;)

    We won't forget fusion tapas, microwaved octopus, soggy pizzas, 20 herb and vegetable what the hell is this...
  24. Thread: Manwiches

    by hallelujah
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    Your tongue goes so far up certain posters' arses...

    Your tongue goes so far up certain posters' arses that I'm surprised you're not cleaning their teeth for them.

    How embarrassing.
  25. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    ^ Reminds me of the old adage: the bigger the...

    ^ Reminds me of the old adage: the bigger the pepper grinder, the worse the restaurant.

    Chitty's must be almost as big as the Eiffel Tower. ;)
  26. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    CCC's new avatar, that is. ;)

    CCC's new avatar, that is. ;)
  27. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    The pork looks great. Seriously. There are a...

    The pork looks great. Seriously.

    There are a lot more dinners like that before you're even close to redeeming yourself for the crimes you've committed on this thread though. ;)
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    I think many of us would feel more secure if...

    I think many of us would feel more secure if anyone was roaming the streets at the moment. ;)
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    29p!!! It was probably out of the Manchester...

    29p!!!

    It was probably out of the Manchester Ship Canal at the price.
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    Poor bastard was probably thinking he'd end up in...

    Poor bastard was probably thinking he'd end up in Gordon Ramsay's kitchen, sauteed in a bit of lemon and garlic and served to the more discerning diner. Instead he gets 15 minutes in a frying pan...
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    ^ The issue should be less about America and more...

    ^ The issue should be less about America and more about Maduro's cronyism and corruption that is bringing the country to its knees. We all know why the US sees it as the bogeyman, but that's not...
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    Chitty trying to cooked octopus! I'm surprised he...

    Chitty trying to cooked octopus! I'm surprised he didn't put it in the microwave for 10 minutes before serving it with Aunt Bessie's finest.

    Learn to walk before you run, Chitty. :smileylaughing:
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    To be fair, Sabang, that's not really true....

    To be fair, Sabang, that's not really true. Knowing plenty of Venezuelans who have fled and seeing the streets of Colombia full of desperate Venezuelan beggars on a day-to-day basis, it's fair to...
  34. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    Just one last fuckin' Big Mac... McDonald'''s...

    Just one last fuckin' Big Mac...

    McDonald'''s mayhem as cops called to busy store as thousands across UK queue for last burger before coronavirus shutdown
  35. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    ^ Classic dish, chips and beans. We used to have...

    ^ Classic dish, chips and beans. We used to have sausage, chips and beans at school instead of the Scotch egg though...








    ...sometimes with an egg on top if it was at home or in a...
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    Sticky: Is that what you sup with your Wetherspoons mates...

    Is that what you sup with your Wetherspoons mates after your 99p breakfast? :smileylaughing:
  37. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    Nowt bland on my plate, mate. ;) Did you use a...

    Nowt bland on my plate, mate. ;)

    Did you use a blowtorch to nuke that chicken, and were those potatoes picked in the middle of the Sahara? :smileylaughing:
  38. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    Garlic and onions are on the right of the top...

    Garlic and onions are on the right of the top picture. ;) They went in first.

    Unfortunately, I've got an iffy stomach at the moment so am having to refrain from anything spicy. And beer. :irked:
  39. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    935,499

    A thick pumpkin and carrot soup for these...

    A thick pumpkin and carrot soup for these challenging times.

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    A few 'erbs and a bit of pepper to finish it off and yer good to go.
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    Sticky: Had to Google what a Frosty Jack was. It was...

    Had to Google what a Frosty Jack was.

    It was this when I was at home:

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    Sticky: Not quite in this fella's league...France...

    Not quite in this fella's league...France coronavirus: A man ran the length of a marathon all from his balcony during lockdown - CNN

    ...but I managed to do about 2k in my flat just now plus press...
  42. Thread: On my bike

    by hallelujah
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    I used to live in Ashton. Sunday nights were like...

    I used to live in Ashton. Sunday nights were like Ibiza down there.

    Apart from the GMP riot vans parked at each end of the main drag.
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    ^^^^^ The Pixies. Nice tunage.

    ^^^^^ The Pixies. Nice tunage.
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    Yeah, she's in good spirits though and was joking...

    Yeah, she's in good spirits though and was joking that she should have been in Spain with her swimsuit on instead of being quarantined for God knows how long.
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    My mum got a letter this morning in the UK...

    My mum got a letter this morning in the UK telling her she's in one of the "at risk" groups and has to stay indoors. She's a heavy smoker with lung problems, so it wasn't any great surprise for her.
  46. Thread: Dinner

    by hallelujah
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    No mash? No cauliflower cheese? No mint sauce or...

    No mash? No cauliflower cheese? No mint sauce or mustard? One sad looking Aunt Bessy per person?

    I don't fink so, sunshine. ;)
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    Sticky: The death toll in Italy has fallen for the second...

    The death toll in Italy has fallen for the second consecutive day while the rate of infections in Germany has started to level off. A little bit of relatively good news...
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    Sticky: My mate was telling me that the Chinese chippy...

    My mate was telling me that the Chinese chippy near his has been closed for the last few weeks; they've had virtually no business since Christmas so have shut up shop.
  49. When I was there, some of the pubs had bars on...

    When I was there, some of the pubs had bars on the windows and the street was a total mess of bricks and stones. I couldn't wait to leave.



    I got confused. That was in Manila. :smileylaughing:
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    Sticky: I was just gonna say that you were describing the...

    I was just gonna say that you were describing the average Brexit retard and then I saw your last line. How very true.
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