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Type: Posts; User: Simon43

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  1. I downloaded and printed out my application form...

    I downloaded and printed out my application form to top up my NIs. I requested that I be allowed to top up the very cheap Class 2 contributions, based on me being a total layabout and too bolshie to...
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    It's great teaching online. No physical exposure...

    It's great teaching online. No physical exposure to kids laden with nasty viruses - I only have to endure their nose-picking/eating on camera ... :)
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    My old school in Naypyitaw has just cancelled...

    My old school in Naypyitaw has just cancelled their science fair, due to be held next weekend. Students are gutted, (having spent time/effort in making various projects). I've suggested they hold a...
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    Nope, that's what Thais would do ==> put up...

    Nope, that's what Thais would do ==> put up prices because of the short-term high demand, and then get roundly fcuked through loss of business when the Chinese B&M schools reopen.

    I'm in it for...
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    Jeez!, from my Googling of what's in the Ganges,...

    Jeez!, from my Googling of what's in the Ganges, that sounds a bit scary for the kids....

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    Thanks to all on setting me straight about the...

    Thanks to all on setting me straight about the photo size :)

    When I jogged past that car at 4.45am this morning, there were blackout cloths over the windows, so clearly someone is sleeping in the...
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    Since the start of the virus scare, a small...

    Since the start of the virus scare, a small community of Chinese are camped out by the Kham river in Luang Prabang. They're staying in camper vans and cars, avoiding the expense of hotels and...
  8. Actually, my use of the word 'just' was to then...

    Actually, my use of the word 'just' was to then compare it with the amount that I will receive after paying top-ups. Nothing wrong with 400 quid a month for the rest of your life :)
  9. Update: Well, just 3 weeks after requesting my...

    Update: Well, just 3 weeks after requesting my NI # reminder, it arrived in the post and I was able to register an account on the government website.

    That website informs me that I've paid in for...
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    Stupid vegans.....

    Nope, not a personal swipe at vegans, but simply a clickbait headline to go and read this very interesting article from the BBC, where research seems to indicate that vegans have lower intelligence...
  11. Exactly. Right now, I'm 'at the start' because...

    Exactly. Right now, I'm 'at the start' because I'm waiting to receive my NI number reminder letter via snail mail. Then I need to ask for a pensions forecast, (which I already know from the NI...
  12. That's correct. The NI office chap said that I...

    That's correct. The NI office chap said that I had paid in 10 years, and could top up for 14 years of contributions from 2006 to the present year, then contribute for the next 5 years until I'm 66...
  13. It only took 30 seconds to locate my name in...

    It only took 30 seconds to locate my name in their database - there are only 2 other people living in the UK with the same last name (my 2 brothers).

    Now if I were called Mohamed Patel, things...
  14. Actually I could remember some of the NI number,...

    Actually I could remember some of the NI number, but not all of it. I left the UK around 2002 and over the years I mislaid and finally lost the number.

    Once I receive the reminder, I intend to...
  15. 5 stars to the staff at the UK government lost NI number department!

    I lost my NI number yonks ago. I had previously paid some small amounts into the system, but left the UK when I was 43 years old. I reckoned that I would be able to claim a pension of totally...
  16. Thread: TD Security...

    by Simon43
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    Fcuk!!! All my porn site passwords have been...

    Fcuk!!! All my porn site passwords have been compromised....

    https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=43731&stc=1
  17. Vaguely related to this post (ie - things that...

    Vaguely related to this post (ie - things that some people do 'cos they've always done it etc). When my grandmother visited the UK (she lived in Egypt) in the 1970's, she handed a 5 pound note to...
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    Do you think it would be ok if I asked on the...

    Do you think it would be ok if I asked on the expat FB group which is the best massage place in town for a happy ending?

    I also need to find a 'gik' to stop my tackle rusting up. Best keep that...
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    Because so many FB group members failed to...

    Because so many FB group members failed to recognise sarcasm comments, I had to resort to enclose them in tags, (which sort of destroyed the whole point of writing the dry comment in the first...
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    LoL, so I have. In any case, the dog was not...

    LoL, so I have.

    In any case, the dog was not dead at all. It was simply fast asleep in a rather dead-looking pose. So I made a small joke about whether it was actually alive and that upset the...
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    No time for PC snowflake expats

    LoL, seems that I upset the local expat FB group in Luang Prabang with my non-PC, sarcastic SOH. Delicate snowflakes took umbrage when I sarcastically asked whether someone's pet dog was alive or...
  22. Luigi, that pink bike looks a bit small for you. ...

    Luigi, that pink bike looks a bit small for you. Does the colour match your clothes :)

    Merry Christmas to all!
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    No reason why not. They are 'expat' policies. ...

    No reason why not. They are 'expat' policies. Companies such as BUPA, Cigna, Davidshield, Now Health all offer policies where you are insured for life, regardless of your claim history. Your...
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    False economy.... many stories of these...

    False economy.... many stories of these companies refusing to pay up, or increasing your premiums after a claim to price you out of their cover. Go with an expat policy that is regulated by UK/EU...
  25. Thread: Guns

    by Simon43
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    I'm so shit poor, the locals break into my house...

    I'm so shit poor, the locals break into my house to give me things...,..

    Mind you, some bugger nicked my CCTV camera the other week, (it was on the boundary fence). i'm gonna take a looksee at...
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    Isn't that part of his small intestine? I think...

    Isn't that part of his small intestine? I think he should push it back up his backside pronto!
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    https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=4...

    https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=41371&stc=1


    For a few months now, the banks of the Kham river, about 200 metres from my house in Luang Prabang, has been a major construction...
  28. Thread: RIP Bitcoin

    by Simon43
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    Haven't recently checked the value of my crypto...

    Haven't recently checked the value of my crypto wallet. I think I'll get change out of a 100 baht note for it....
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    I'm actually a Pastafarian... ...

    I'm actually a Pastafarian...

    https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=40635&stc=1
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    Bangkok is a big city. Where will you be based? ...

    Bangkok is a big city. Where will you be based? If you're working in the marine sector, then will you be based down on the southside of town by the industrial port? (locally referred to as 'gay...
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    Celebrating my exam results at London University....

    Celebrating my exam results at London University. Got rat-arsed and decided to go home on the bus. At some traffic lights on Camden Road, I realised I was going to throw up. since the lights were...
  32. I wasn't sure if the reference to 'teledildonics'...

    I wasn't sure if the reference to 'teledildonics' in that article was true or not.

    The thought of someone remotely-controlling my butt plug (actually I don't possess one - honest!), over the...
  33. Must be hell for him during Springtime...

    Must be hell for him during Springtime...
  34. Fcuk, how things have changed! If I went back to...

    Fcuk, how things have changed! If I went back to the UK, I wouldn't have a clue..... must dig out my cheque guarantee card and see if it's still valid!
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    Looks a bit like your avatar actually...

    Looks a bit like your avatar actually...
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    Sorry, someone please remind me - what's the...

    Sorry, someone please remind me - what's the trick to getting large-size photos to appear in my post, as opposed to the thumbnails?
  37. Last year, I thought of growing a beard 'cos I...

    Last year, I thought of growing a beard 'cos I was getting a blotchy rash whenever I shaved. Started to grow the beard, but it grew through grey and white and made me look like Albert Steptoe.
    ...
  38. Tried that. Too small for my massive todger...

    Tried that. Too small for my massive todger...
  39. I used to travel back to the UK to visit my old...

    I used to travel back to the UK to visit my old mum after she had had several strokes. She'd greet me warmly and she would ask me all about my adventures in Thailand, the food, the weather etc. I...
  40. Man bonking cone avoids jail - exciting new job!

    Saw this in the rag: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10207183/traffic-cone-sex-train-station-court/

    "He was in a public lift with the upturned object — described as “akin to a traffic cone” — on...
  41. LoL, sounds like you're the one who's nuts...

    LoL, sounds like you're the one who's nuts :smileylaughing:
  42. Yes! I have a business visa AND work permit for...

    Yes! I have a business visa AND work permit for that! My WP allows me to work online, but not to have a B&M business - I need to set up a company etc to do that.
  43. In 2014, my $1 bought 8,000 Lao Kip. Now it...

    In 2014, my $1 bought 8,000 Lao Kip.

    Now it buys 8,800 Lao Kip.

    For someone who is paid from abroad in USD, and intends to remain in the country until I drop dead, saving in a Lao kip account -...
  44. They've started building a modern new hospital in...

    They've started building a modern new hospital in town...

    I also got my $1.2M USD medical cover insurance with evacuation to Bangers, (probably not much use if I get 95% squashed by a bus, but...
  45. Well, I'm completely fcuked then. Out of the UK...

    Well, I'm completely fcuked then. Out of the UK for 18 years, and working as a contractor in mainland Europe before that. I think my total years of NI contributions add up to about a fortnight...
    ...
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    On 14th October, it is the Fireboat Festival in...

    On 14th October, it is the Fireboat Festival in Luang Prabang, where 20,000 paper/bamboo boats are floated down the Mekong river.

    The monks have no time for booze, Facebook or women/boys, because...
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    I recall around 2003 'owning' a couple of bars...

    I recall around 2003 'owning' a couple of bars just up the road at Sukhumvit 1 Plaza. Life seemed good then, but it was all a smokescreen LoL
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    [ Not bad if you come from Indonesia. Looks...

    [

    Not bad if you come from Indonesia. Looks crap if you come from Romania or similar...

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    [QUOTE=Simon43;4007717]Welcome to the Chinese...

    [QUOTE=Simon43;4007717]Welcome to the Chinese city of Luang Prabang...

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    I found out what this is all about. Someone is making a Chinese movie in town, (entitled 'How the glorious Red Army...
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    One of my mad Thai ex's sisters married an old...

    One of my mad Thai ex's sisters married an old Norwegian guy, moved to Norway, learnt a bit of the language and then started moonlighting as a Thai masseuse (happy endings guaranteed). She was/is...
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