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  1. Replies
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    ^ I'm gonna search my mum's house for some scales...

    ^ I'm gonna search my mum's house for some scales tomorrow, but I don't hold out much hope.

    The trouble with coming off nights is that there are endless sleepless night time hours with not much...
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    These offshore windfarms have helped to keep up a...

    These offshore windfarms have helped to keep up a demand for offshore workers throughout the last oil downturn. There are loads of them across the southern North Sea.
    ...
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    ^ What happens on the minibus stays on he...

    ^ What happens on the minibus stays on he minibus!

    But I can't leave it there... this thread was supposed to be about air travel commuting during times of Covid... not about my work, or my weight...
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    The work at Troll was finished at 4am... the...

    The work at Troll was finished at 4am... the First Mate assured us that he'd get the boat alongside by 10am at the latest, so we could catch the 11:45am flights. I went to bed to try and get a few...
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    Does your wife cut your nails? I stopped mine...

    Does your wife cut your nails? I stopped mine doing it because she always cut them too short.

    Nice kebabs, by the way! :)
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    ... burp... I find it a sad reflectiom on...

    ... burp... I find it a sad reflectiom on Teakdoor society that I post a pic of an 8000 year old, never before seen by mankind deep water coral mound, yet the topic of conflabation is my weight!!! ...
  7. We've had loads of rain this year in our part of...

    We've had loads of rain this year in our part of Korat, and it's been raining the last few days apparently.

    My wife sent me this today... glad I put in a damp proof course for Anna and Vigo.
    ...
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    And what about my health kick... My last beer...

    And what about my health kick...

    My last beer was at Suvarnabhumi on 25th July, that was fifty-five 12 hour shifts and exactly 8 weeks ago. I've watched my diet and been walking on the helideck or...
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    ^ Thank you Shutree! I don't think I have any...

    ^ Thank you Shutree! I don't think I have any quarantine worries... I've filled out some form for UK immigration and think I'll be OK. The north of England seems to be going into lockdown, but...
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    ^ You were having a pint with John Malkovich?

    ^ You were having a pint with John Malkovich?
  11. He was only doing a spot of fishing...?

    He was only doing a spot of fishing...?
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    The trip's coming to an end and we started the...

    The trip's coming to an end and we started the last project today... hopefully just a day's work at Visund.

    It's a busy part of the world...
    ...
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    ^ Miles West Country tea is now high on my list...

    ^ Miles West Country tea is now high on my list to try.

    I'd imagine that coming from the West Country it will be a strong, trustworthy tea, full of flavour and hung like a horse!




    Better...
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    ^ I hope it doesn't involve ping pong balls! :)

    ^ I hope it doesn't involve ping pong balls! :)
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    ^ I think a pessimistic tone is very apt Helge......

    ^ I think a pessimistic tone is very apt Helge... money and politics will win over the environment every time, Greenpeace should forget politics and remember why they started. (by the way Helge... if...
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    ^^ Yeah, but try making fritters with cheese! ...

    ^^ Yeah, but try making fritters with cheese!

    A while ago I asked a mate joining the boat from the UK to bring me a few tins of SPAM, corned beef and Frey Bentos pies. He said he'd visited aisles...
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    ^ If it's for me, drink the whole bottle please!...

    ^ If it's for me, drink the whole bottle please!

    Tonight we're back at Oseberg... the wind has gone so now we've got fog. Less than a week to go with any luck.
    ...
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    I usually go with PG Tips without thinking,...

    I usually go with PG Tips without thinking, mainly because 'The PG Tips pyramid tea bag gives the tea leaves more room to move around than a flat conventional tea bag. So the tea bag works like a...
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    Looks good, and glad to see you put no cloves...

    Looks good, and glad to see you put no cloves in... they spoil it for me.

    Birds custard powder and a sieve to pour the custard through is what you now need.

    And careful while you sit back...
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    ^^ :) Thanks KW... I'm ok... was just feeling...

    ^^ :) Thanks KW... I'm ok... was just feeling sorry for meself after getting no sleep. This hasn't been a very enjoyable job and it doesn't take much to start moaning... and I'm English after all!
    ...
  21. Thread: Dinner

    by Mendip
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    ^^ Should have borrowed some spuds from Hal......

    ^^ Should have borrowed some spuds from Hal... looks like he's got loads to spare.

    Hal and Chitty with the same plates... dining together?
  22. Replies
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    We've had shitty weather for a few days now, but...

    We've had shitty weather for a few days now, but just within working limits. This is the worst kind of weather as the boat is oriented at the best heading for configuration with the ROV, which isn't...
  23. Thread: Shark Drunk

    by Mendip
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    I used to regularly buy Linie Aquavit at duty...

    I used to regularly buy Linie Aquavit at duty free when leaving Norway. 'Linie' is the equator, and Linie Auqavit has been taken across the equator by ship. The name of the ship that carried it is...
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    No problem Helge, it's a welcome discussion... ...

    No problem Helge, it's a welcome discussion...

    Oil companies are currently obligated to return the seabed to it's previous state when decommissioning a field, which in principal sounds a fair...
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    ^ Ain't that the truth! Fishlocker would be...

    ^ Ain't that the truth!

    Fishlocker would be disappointing... HSE have banned fishing as well, along with many other avenues of enjoyment.

    Many years ago if we saw a lot of cod along a pipeline...
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    ^ The nylon nets are awful. We find the same nets...

    ^ The nylon nets are awful. We find the same nets snagged on pipelines for years, if not tens of years, and even after all that time they will be full of dead fish and big crabs which come to eat the...
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    We're working at Gullfaks for a few days, an old...

    We're working at Gullfaks for a few days, an old development being rejuvenated by several new satellite wells being drilled into known existing reservoirs.

    The drilling is being done by the...
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    Sticky: Not big news in the scheme of things, but this...

    Not big news in the scheme of things, but this was the school I went to.

    It was called Churchill Comprehensive back in the day.


    Coronavirus: Churchill Academy pupils sent home after Covid-19...
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    ^^ I imagine a fund all the oil companies pay...

    ^^ I imagine a fund all the oil companies pay into will provide for the medivac service, but I'm only guessing.

    Heli - YouTube
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    One of the guys on the bridge had chest pains...

    One of the guys on the bridge had chest pains last night. The medic hooked him up to a machine and streamed live data to shore and it was considered serious enough for a medivac. (the medic must have...
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    My next job is office work with a different...

    My next job is office work with a different contractor. This job was due to end on 20th at the latest, the office work start on Monday 21st.

    They have a crew change on this boat every two weeks,...
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    Something a bit more cerebral for any engineers...

    Something a bit more cerebral for any engineers viewing...

    Ootai... enjoying your morning coffee?


    We use multibeam echosounder to produce a 3D model of the seabed, and side scan sonar to...
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    You're not wrong Nev... no handle to hang on to...

    You're not wrong Nev... no handle to hang on to in those bus toilets mind.

    Many's the time I've disembarked a bus at Morchit with a wet patch in my crotch.

    I usually save it until the U-turn...
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    ^ Yeah well... you know what the Scandinavians...

    ^ Yeah well... you know what the Scandinavians are like...

    And whoever invented detachable caps for shampoo bottles anyway?
  35. Replies
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    Yeah... lets just leave it at that! If they're...

    Yeah... lets just leave it at that!

    If they're using the big crane on the back deck, for instance, the boat will take on a heavy list and maybe the shower water won't drain away... same goes for...
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    A lot of things you landlubbers take for granted...

    A lot of things you landlubbers take for granted change when working offshore in bad weather.

    You can't put a cup of coffee on a table without a grippy mat... or you'll be wearing it.

    Meal...
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    More bad weather... Off the bows past my...

    More bad weather...

    Off the bows past my helideck...

    7 September 2020(1) - YouTube

    And astern...

    7 September 2020(2) - YouTube
  38. ^ I wouldn't want to eat that wearing a white...

    ^ I wouldn't want to eat that wearing a white shirt!

    ^^^ When I make pastry I bind the fat and flour mix with ice cold water and then leave the pastry ball in the freezer for 10 minutes before...
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    Tonight... waiting on weather at the Oseberg...

    Tonight... waiting on weather at the Oseberg field... about mid-way between Norway and The Shetlands.

    Six weeks down, two to go... I could do without any more delays.
    ...
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    Donkey Kong Willy King, those are classic iceberg...

    Donkey Kong Willy King, those are classic iceberg features.

    But I won't call you that if you stop calling me 'Sir', it makes me uncomfortable. Only the wife calls me 'Sir', or was it 'wanker', I...
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    I thought I was getting on OK with the Filipinos...

    I thought I was getting on OK with the Filipinos but today Ernesto recommended I eat his new breakfast recipe.

    I've got used to stewed corned beef with onions, stewed tinned tuna with onions and...
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    ^ Thanks for the thought Katie! The oil and...

    ^ Thanks for the thought Katie!

    The oil and gas industry is very heavily regulated... I would say the most dangerous part of my work is the taxi ride from Korat to Suvarnabhumi and back again.
    ...
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    We finished the project up north at the Åsgard...

    We finished the project up north at the Åsgard field and spent nearly two days transiting southwards through bad weather. Now we're alongside at the CCB offshore base, just north of Bergen.
    ...
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    ^ It could have been the Seabed Constructor? ...

    ^ It could have been the Seabed Constructor?

    An old friend of mine on this boat worked on the Constructor during the search for MH370, although I have no idea what she's doing now.

    This boat...
  45. British tourist killed in hit-and-run motorbike...

    British tourist killed in hit-and-run motorbike crash on trip to see girlfriend


    Brit tourist killed in hit-and-run motorbike crash while on holiday in Thailand - Daily Star
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    ^ Agree. One man's 'weird' is simply another...

    ^ Agree.

    One man's 'weird' is simply another man's pet dog in underwear!
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    ^ Hence my tongue in cheek comment. Another...

    ^ Hence my tongue in cheek comment.


    Another type of data we collect during seabed surveys is side scan sonar. Old technology that's been around for ages but it still has a place. Whereas the...
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    As with all industries, computers have...

    As with all industries, computers have transformed offshore work.

    Just one small example... back in the early 90s when mobilising for a project we would pack boxes full of literally hundreds of...
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    ^^^^ OhOh, a good friend of mine started in this...

    ^^^^ OhOh, a good friend of mine started in this industry in the early 80s, about ten years before me. In those pioneer days he carried out annual pipeline inspections from a manned sub. A pilot and...
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    Sadly I'll be spending around 60 nights in this...

    Sadly I'll be spending around 60 nights in this bed (bunk). Newly made up today specially for this pic!

    https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=56984&d=1599109688

    I know where I'd...
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