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  1. Replies
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    Well... this ain't happening in my part of...

    Well... this ain't happening in my part of Sweden...
  2. ^^ Sorry, but what's a fire wanker?

    ^^ Sorry, but what's a fire wanker?
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    ^ They are up behind the Navy staff apartments......

    ^ They are up behind the Navy staff apartments... storage mews would make sense.

    I like it round here... this morning just as it was getting light I looked out of my window and there were two...
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    Sale of the Century - Nicholas Parsons - YouTube...

    Sale of the Century - Nicholas Parsons - YouTube
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    You didn't watch 'Sale of the Century'?

    You didn't watch 'Sale of the Century'?
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    Pull the udder one... Maybe it was because...

    Pull the udder one...



    Maybe it was because he had no troosers on... that would upset any cow. I've never heard it called a telescopic 'stick' before though.

    And I thought the most dangerous...
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    ^^ Shame on you trying to deprive the dog his...

    ^^ Shame on you trying to deprive the dog his night out for your immoral gains.

    Look on a dog as an attribute, not a distraction. Slap some underwear on him and it could have been a night to...
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    I'm not finding the office particularly...

    I'm not finding the office particularly friendly... but that's no reflection on the Swedes at all who have all been very welcoming. The area I'm working in has a lot of English staff geos and they're...
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    Yep... remember those coral mounds a few pages...

    Yep... remember those coral mounds a few pages back... hydrothermal vents... you heard it here first!




    My, I mean the trainee is English from Devon mate... normal name.

    And I'd want better...
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    But do they have cider? I'll have to find out. ...

    But do they have cider? I'll have to find out.

    I'll do a recce walk over the weekend and start exploring. I need to get into Göteborg city centre at some point... the old city? It's supposed to be...
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    I've had my second full day in the office now and...

    I've had my second full day in the office now and am settling in.

    I've spent many years on and off working in Norway, but this is my first experience of Swedish office culture...

    It's nice and...
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    Well, I see there's been plenty of discussion...

    Well, I see there's been plenty of discussion while I've been hard at work for the day...



    Shutree, I would like to say I'd look into it, and into this Revolut card my (I mean the) trainee has...
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    Yeah I know... schoolboy error, but I kind of...

    Yeah I know... schoolboy error, but I kind of thought a big city in Sweden would have ATMs...



    Yes lom, you've done it again... Jaegerdorffsplatsen has already come to my attention as having...
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    I've got the app as well... completely forgot...

    I've got the app as well... completely forgot about it.

    This young traineee I'm sitting next to says that I'm just being stubborn wanting cash (mind she also thinks I'm stubborn not wanting to go...
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    Whoops... to keep it on topic... I wouldn't...

    Whoops... to keep it on topic...

    I wouldn't normally drink whisky from a pint glass, but that's all I have in this shitty place.

    A dangerous combination... extreme boredom, a bottle of duty...
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    ^^ A lot of tunneling is done under pressure,...

    ^^ A lot of tunneling is done under pressure, especially where the soil is likely to collapse such as the storm water system tunneled beneath Cairo in the sand.

    But that reminds me... and I'm very...
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    ^ I would have happily risked Covid to ask the...

    ^ I would have happily risked Covid to ask the dog walker a few questions... or a lot worse to be honest Dave.

    I think I'm safer asking blokes for directions... I get strange looks off females....
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    ^ That is the one saving grace Chitty! It's still...

    ^ That is the one saving grace Chitty! It's still pretty shit though.

    ^^ You probably need an app to call a taxi. No-one communicates here, you just get app messages.

    Seems wrong to pay 30 quid...
  19. A cousin of mine who works at a chemical plant...

    A cousin of mine who works at a chemical plant near Avonmouth docks was given a citation for bravery after going in and pulling out a guy who had fallen unconcious at the bottom of a large vessel. He...
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    I woke this morning to a huge flood in the middle...

    I woke this morning to a huge flood in the middle of my student digs, I tell ya, if it wasn't for Covid, the fact that I can't get home. or that I'd negotiated a good rate out of this company and...
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    ^ Where do I start lom...? I arrived in...

    ^ Where do I start lom...?

    I arrived in Gothenburg, or 'Göteborg' as they seem to like calling it here (I mean WTF are Goths called here... Göts?), and all was OK at first... my UK passport still...
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    I always took you to be a Dane lom... my first...

    I always took you to be a Dane lom... my first impressions of Sweden are very poor...




    A millstone...

    The literal hanging of a millstone about the neck is mentioned as a punishment in the...
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    I knew I was going to have a lot of spare time in...

    I knew I was going to have a lot of spare time in the evenings coming up, and instead of spending them messing about on my phone and laptop I'm trying to get back in the habit of reading books again....
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    After picking up 320 bags of Yorkshire's finest...

    After picking up 320 bags of Yorkshire's finest (there was no Barry's or Miles) which at 3 cups a day should keep me going until Chtistmas, we stopped on the way home at a small beauty spot for a pic...
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    ^^^ Shutree, my mum did fantastically well with...

    ^^^ Shutree, my mum did fantastically well with the cider order (for a tea-totaller) but let me down badly on the pork pie front. They were indeed minute, but luckily that pork pie in the pic was a...
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    ^ I'm gonna search my mum's house for some scales...

    ^ I'm gonna search my mum's house for some scales tomorrow, but I don't hold out much hope.

    The trouble with coming off nights is that there are endless sleepless night time hours with not much...
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    These offshore windfarms have helped to keep up a...

    These offshore windfarms have helped to keep up a demand for offshore workers throughout the last oil downturn. There are loads of them across the southern North Sea.
    ...
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    ^ What happens on the minibus stays on he...

    ^ What happens on the minibus stays on he minibus!

    But I can't leave it there... this thread was supposed to be about air travel commuting during times of Covid... not about my work, or my weight...
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    The work at Troll was finished at 4am... the...

    The work at Troll was finished at 4am... the First Mate assured us that he'd get the boat alongside by 10am at the latest, so we could catch the 11:45am flights. I went to bed to try and get a few...
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    Does your wife cut your nails? I stopped mine...

    Does your wife cut your nails? I stopped mine doing it because she always cut them too short.

    Nice kebabs, by the way! :)
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    ... burp... I find it a sad reflectiom on...

    ... burp... I find it a sad reflectiom on Teakdoor society that I post a pic of an 8000 year old, never before seen by mankind deep water coral mound, yet the topic of conflabation is my weight!!! ...
  32. We've had loads of rain this year in our part of...

    We've had loads of rain this year in our part of Korat, and it's been raining the last few days apparently.

    My wife sent me this today... glad I put in a damp proof course for Anna and Vigo.
    ...
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    And what about my health kick... My last beer...

    And what about my health kick...

    My last beer was at Suvarnabhumi on 25th July, that was fifty-five 12 hour shifts and exactly 8 weeks ago. I've watched my diet and been walking on the helideck or...
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    ^ Thank you Shutree! I don't think I have any...

    ^ Thank you Shutree! I don't think I have any quarantine worries... I've filled out some form for UK immigration and think I'll be OK. The north of England seems to be going into lockdown, but...
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    ^ You were having a pint with John Malkovich?

    ^ You were having a pint with John Malkovich?
  36. He was only doing a spot of fishing...?

    He was only doing a spot of fishing...?
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    The trip's coming to an end and we started the...

    The trip's coming to an end and we started the last project today... hopefully just a day's work at Visund.

    It's a busy part of the world...
    ...
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    ^ Miles West Country tea is now high on my list...

    ^ Miles West Country tea is now high on my list to try.

    I'd imagine that coming from the West Country it will be a strong, trustworthy tea, full of flavour and hung like a horse!




    Better...
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    ^ I hope it doesn't involve ping pong balls! :)

    ^ I hope it doesn't involve ping pong balls! :)
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    ^ I think a pessimistic tone is very apt Helge......

    ^ I think a pessimistic tone is very apt Helge... money and politics will win over the environment every time, Greenpeace should forget politics and remember why they started. (by the way Helge... if...
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    ^^ Yeah, but try making fritters with cheese! ...

    ^^ Yeah, but try making fritters with cheese!

    A while ago I asked a mate joining the boat from the UK to bring me a few tins of SPAM, corned beef and Frey Bentos pies. He said he'd visited aisles...
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    ^ If it's for me, drink the whole bottle please!...

    ^ If it's for me, drink the whole bottle please!

    Tonight we're back at Oseberg... the wind has gone so now we've got fog. Less than a week to go with any luck.
    ...
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    I usually go with PG Tips without thinking,...

    I usually go with PG Tips without thinking, mainly because 'The PG Tips pyramid tea bag gives the tea leaves more room to move around than a flat conventional tea bag. So the tea bag works like a...
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    Looks good, and glad to see you put no cloves...

    Looks good, and glad to see you put no cloves in... they spoil it for me.

    Birds custard powder and a sieve to pour the custard through is what you now need.

    And careful while you sit back...
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    ^^ :) Thanks KW... I'm ok... was just feeling...

    ^^ :) Thanks KW... I'm ok... was just feeling sorry for meself after getting no sleep. This hasn't been a very enjoyable job and it doesn't take much to start moaning... and I'm English after all!
    ...
  46. Thread: Dinner

    by Mendip
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    ^^ Should have borrowed some spuds from Hal......

    ^^ Should have borrowed some spuds from Hal... looks like he's got loads to spare.

    Hal and Chitty with the same plates... dining together?
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    We've had shitty weather for a few days now, but...

    We've had shitty weather for a few days now, but just within working limits. This is the worst kind of weather as the boat is oriented at the best heading for configuration with the ROV, which isn't...
  48. Thread: Shark Drunk

    by Mendip
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    I used to regularly buy Linie Aquavit at duty...

    I used to regularly buy Linie Aquavit at duty free when leaving Norway. 'Linie' is the equator, and Linie Auqavit has been taken across the equator by ship. The name of the ship that carried it is...
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    No problem Helge, it's a welcome discussion... ...

    No problem Helge, it's a welcome discussion...

    Oil companies are currently obligated to return the seabed to it's previous state when decommissioning a field, which in principal sounds a fair...
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    ^ Ain't that the truth! Fishlocker would be...

    ^ Ain't that the truth!

    Fishlocker would be disappointing... HSE have banned fishing as well, along with many other avenues of enjoyment.

    Many years ago if we saw a lot of cod along a pipeline...
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