"SPICY" Club, Siam Sq, Bangkok
Time: 1.35am, Just been to a rock gig at House Of Rock, Rajathevi, Saturday night.
"So where shall we go then? What's open? Bangkok is supposed to be the city of nightlife, right? " said Raphael, on holiday from London, England.
"Erm, well there's nowhere open now really, unless you fancy sitting at a street stall along Petburi Road fending off touts pulling along baby elephants" John replied, wearily.
"I thought that had been made illegal in 2002?" Chipped in Lena, the token Aussie TEFL-er chick
"Yeah but who actually cares? Nobody, that's who" Said John. "Let's find some club open, I'll ask this taxi guy"
John stumbled over to the taxi waiting by the kerb and asked him.
"Hey guys he said he'll take us to an all night club that isn't a go-go bar, it's just down the road"
They all leapt in, eager to get on the piss.
"300 Baht entry includes a drink" said the cop at the door who then stamped a red logo onto their arms.
In they all went, four of them, two couples who had never experienced nightlife like this before.
Pumping house music at a volume just that bit too loud to have conversation without fear of spitting, 85% of the male clientele being scumbag / dirtbag farang men trying to look as hard as possible on the pull and pushing past as many other men as possible. Oh, and as pissed as they could possibly stand.
African men flitting about like they were undercover cops on duty for some obscure reason (and nor did we give a shit).
Indian men with sweat patches under their over-dressed armpits.
Young, tourist 18-22 yr old boys surrounded by a bunch of katoey / hookers feeling like a million dollars.
Groups of hookers who immedietely lock eyes with you the second you look around the place, ditto katoeys.
Guys up on the five podiums dancing with katoeys doing OTT over-feminine dance moves all over them getting felt up all over at the same time.
After 2.30am -ish, the place became absolutely jam packed and the incoming patrons just didn't let up. Obviously there are no limits or capacity restrictions being Thailand so the place gets unbearably packed so much so that getting a drink is virtually impossible and you give up visiting the toilet for a piss. Also they allow smoking in there so the haze is quite strong as well. Then again all clubs were like this before the ban so it brings back an ounce of something nostalgic.
Talking of nostalgia, the 6-feet tall huge headed and big nosed katoey (where, how and why do these things exist?- the huge heads and noses, that is) has managed to get off with a shorter skinnier bloke dressed up in a white suit who is clearly out of it. Wonder what'll happen later.
The only thing as rude as the other men barging through you all the time are the staff who do the same but with more intent and armed with a tray of drinks.
Then the hiphop starts at about 3am and so do the same old boring songs and predictable dance routines.
Spicy Club. A Craphole to avoid. I'd heard about it before but never, ever realised that a place could be so shite and still remain open. Oh well, where there's a sevice offered, there'll always be people to use it I suppose.
I left at 3:11am and at the fifth attempt, found a taxi that would take me home with the meter and no questions asked.
A miserable waste of time and money.
