Thais, buys and maipen rais
I went to the market to buy a banana, and I didn't want a bunch of bananas, and I didn't want a bunch of them 'fun size' bananas and I didn't want a bunch of three or four greenish bananas - just one for my morning shake as I still have half a pineapple in my fridge.
Anyway, there was this one solitary banana that was ripe, maybe a little over as it had black streaks on it - so I point to it and the Thai lady points to the fun size bananas and says (in Thai) "These?"
I said (in Thai) "No not those, right a bit" and she pointed to the bunch of greenish bananas and she says (in Thai) "These?" and I said (in Thai) no, left a bit and she pointed to the solitary banana I wanted and she says (in Thai) "What, this fucking thing?" and I said (in English) "That's the one".
Anyway, she just gives it to me and says (in Thai) "Don't worry about it" with a smile.
I said, "You what - not even 5 baht?" and offered her the silver coin, and she waved her hand and gave a little laugh and said (in Thai) "Maipen-fookin-rai".
Very baffled and trying to figure out what the catch was, I wondered if the sneaky bitch was trying to trick me into tipping her 20 baht for her generosity - which was obviously not generosity at all, just a ploy to get something from the farang.
Anyway... I, Scampy, had the last laugh as I said (in Thai) "Why, thankyou very much miss, I shall come here again" gave her a smile and a wai and fucked off leaving her empty handed.
Ha! Scampy 1 - Thais 0. :)