what sends yr o'l lady into Lift off

While I'm a fairly placid and well behaved codger now, I certainly wasn't always that way, I've done same very naughty shit while in the Flesh pots that exist Bangkok
But my wife hasn't got too much to complain about these days.


The one thing that arises her ire is when I start doing any house work, just Pulling up the duvet on the bed will start her off.
Last night her and the girls where watching some Thai shit soap opera on the Puter so I took it on myself to clean off the dishes.

Red rag and bull come to mind, she storms into kitchen lets me know in clear terms that I was out of order and to reinforce the severity of the transgression slept with the girls and did not speak to me for half a day.
Oh the pain of silence :).

How do their miniscule brain arrive at the conclusion that not talking to me for half a day is going to reform me in the slightest, beats me.

I guess most have one button they can push when the need to light the touch paper arises.

My missus becomes highly agitated when I bring a barfine home at 6am on a Saturday morning.

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Originally Posted by peterpan

The one thing that arises her ire is when I start doing any house work

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And you're complaining about that.... ?

Sheesh, bladdy senile old man.

I'm not complaining she is, do you remember the night that we had that orgy with 4 lady boys and you sent the photos of the event to her Email address rather than mine ?

oh yeah, sorry about that, but to be fair, it was only your prince albert that gave it away.

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Originally Posted by peterpan

How do their miniscule brain arrive at the conclusion that not talking to me for half a day is going to reform me in the slightest, beats me.

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I get the same Pete, especially if its near her time of the month.

I play the game back

I know exactly how you must have felt, helping out and all, but to her, you might as well be calling her Bone Idle

I will never understand them, the trick is to keep the silence and let them come and apologise

They say the best part of breaking up is the making up


And as Sir Wilson says, learn to play it into your favour.

Next time you wanna go play Golf or go out with the lads, get the Marigolds on and the mop out :)

https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2011/09/500.jpg

SS

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I know exactly how you must have felt, helping out and all, but to her, you might as well be calling her Bone Idle

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Nail + head :)

I thought this thread was going to be about sexual prowess....

suggesting she gets a job fucks mine off.

The cleaning thing pisses them off as I was told it makes them look bad if other women see you doing housework. Like they aren't taking care of their baans.

Fair enough too I say!

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Originally Posted by Bung

I thought this thread was going to be about sexual prowess....

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I was going to mention the 12" stout black vibrator but I won't now

You cannot win no matter how good your intentions are with this.Universal situation with most women although some may think it was great and then decide that they would like you to continue all the time doing the same.Men from Mars Women from Venus situ.

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Originally Posted by peterpan

what sends yr o'l lady into Lift off

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wiping my knob on the curtains usually does the trick. :bunny3:

Like major earthquakes very very difficult to pinpoint exactly - but you know one is coming :):)

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Originally Posted by Aussie Tigger

.Universal situation with most women

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I never met one s pig headed as her, for want of better terminology

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Originally Posted by Gerbil

wiping my knob on the curtains usually does the trick.

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Thats terrible, but funny as fcuk:)

Nigh impossible to fathom the workings of a woman's mind and you'll likely never get to the bottom of one, but if try best lead with your tongue, if that don't work give her up as a dead loss find a good whore and to hell with the relationship.

breathing :(

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Originally Posted by jizzybloke

breathing :(

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Hard to stop doing :smileylaughing:

In my house it doesn't happen that often, but when it does I usually hunker down and weather the storm in silence, 5-6 hours later she comes and gives me a hug with a "solly Darklink". :) There is a good chance though I still haven't gotten what it was all about :):)

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Originally Posted by Gerbil

wiping my knob on the curtains usually does the trick

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Well if she isn't satisfied with curtains she should not have married you. There are thousands of Chinese who don't even have windows, let alone curtains.

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Originally Posted by DrAndy

I was going to mention the 12" stout black vibrator but I won't now

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With the greatest of respect Doc this is all about what gets your ol lady goin ,,,,,,not about your rather peverse forms of gratification :)

Slapping her across the chops with my winkle when she's asleep doesn't please her much.

Shagging her best mates don't go down to well either :(

EVERYTHING I ever did..

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Originally Posted by Gerbil

wiping my knob on the curtains usually does the trick.

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I bought what I thought was a really swish pair of bedroom curtains at the boot sale one Sunday all neatly folded from a really nice respectable couple ,, she even offered me tea from her flask and a home made scone ,,,,, allthough her ol man did have a bit of a red whisky veined snozzle ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, when I got my prize drapes home and unfurled em on my bed , her old man or mabe the ol man from next door had de gunked on em.

I set fire to them in the garden on Guy Fawkes night :)

Dutch oven.

She hates it.

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Originally Posted by Sir Wilson

Dutch oven.

She hates it.

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You're fortunate she doesnt like it. With all them cockroaches and shit that they eat, well ...... Imagine the payback.

Me shooting my muck before she's got what she wants.

ha ha

Tough shit tilac.

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Originally Posted by alwarner

Me shooting my muck before she's got what she wants.

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You mean they actually want something out of it too?? Well I'll be buggered! What is this 'something'?

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Originally Posted by somtamslap

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Originally Posted by alwarner

Me shooting my muck before she's got what she wants.

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You mean they actually want something out of it too?? Well I'll be buggered! What is this 'something'?

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500b??:sexy:

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Originally Posted by alwarner

500b??

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Obviously not going to happen. I guess it'll just have to remain a mystery then..

lol

You'd think I gave her money for a bad attitude and bad food.

joke joke joke.

Wearing shoes in the house and saying the word "fvck".

I tend to use a colourful vocabulary in general conversation, which is fine by her, but if I ever direct the "fvck" word towards her, i.e. "what the fuck are you doing?" she ignites and lets me know very clearly "don't say fvck to me".

But the big one is when we have an fight, I am one of those people who will just walk away, and bunker down with my own company for a few hours to calm down(usually hit the sauce or read the newspaper). This makes her blood boil, she hates that I won't sort it out then and there, and tries to pester me to fix things then and there. But what she doesn't realise is that if I don't walk away, I will end up in a complete nuclear meltdown and will use the word "fvck" in ways she's never imagined.

Any mention of criticism towards her family is a sure-fire winner!:rofl:

Not closing fridge door.
Not putting chair back under dining table after returning plate to kitchen.
Not putting away table mats after dinner.
Failing to turn off ceiling fan at night.
Being polite to wives of friends.
Snoring.

My Missus gets all stroppy when I try to organize her organized mayhem.

Moving documents into files, putting things back in their rightful place etc etc.

Then she can't find anything anymore and I'm well in the shit.

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Originally Posted by somtamslap

Well I'll be buggered!

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You sure will if you go to the TV reunion by mistake :)

While some things piss her off she tolerates them, sort of.

Slagging of her "can't keep their cocks in their pants" BiL's.
Telling her that all the pills & crap the The Totally useless Thai doctors give her are just that, useless crap.
Telling her why she must discipline our kids when its necessary.
Refusing to help the kids with their Thai homework, just becasue I regard any learning in Thai language a useless exercise.

Most days, there's nothing I can do to set her off.

But on some days, anything I do sets her off. I mean, parking my bike in this empty space instead of another empty space 3 metres distant can be enough.

Too old to worry about what might do it these days. Can't go around treading on eggshells.

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Originally Posted by Strongarm

But the big one is when we have an fight, I am one of those people who will just walk away, and bunker down with my own company for a few hours to calm down(usually hit the sauce or read the newspaper). This makes her blood boil, she hates that I won't sort it out then and there, and tries to pester me to fix things then and there. But what she doesn't realise is that if I don't walk away, I will end up in a complete nuclear meltdown and will use the word "fvck" in ways she's never imagined.

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Exactly.

Snoring got me in the shit last night - after she had punched me awake for the 5th time because she couldn't sleep I told her she could 'Fvck off and sleep in the other room'...

The half-day silence has already passed though.

'Stealing money back from her' is no longer part of my household austerity measures as that sent her into tears of rage on the first attempt.

The list of potential sparks is endless.