Experiences with your Thai bride adjusting (or not) to living in your home country

Mrs. Chi seems to be adjusting pretty well. I thought the cold weather would be a big problem, but we have been tobogganing, ice skating (well falling on the ice in my case :) ) and even built a snowman. She likes football (real gridiron football!) and baseball. She likes how it is organized, less traffic craziness and no dogs running around, She feels it is a thousand times cleaner here.

Some of the things she has seemed to have a bit of trouble with is all the negativity people seem to have here. Often times my friend's wives try to give her advice on how to "keep me in line" or that she is too nice. They bad mouth their husbands and try to get her to do the same. She has also had some problems with the wives of my friends here in that they seem a bit jealous of her.

Another thing is she is tired of is all the greasy, calorie packed meals that are made here. We went to a Bear's football party last weekend and there was a spread of about 1 million calories of crap on a table. Every time we are at someone's house for a meal it consists of huge slabs of meat, taters and ends with a pie, ice cream, cake etc.

The cost of things bothers here too. Shopping and eating out seem to shock her - I guess 10 bucks for khao pad gai is ridiculous.

What are some of the things your wife had trouble adjusting too in your country?

Any culture shock for her?

What were some things you thought would be a problem and were not?

Share some stories!

I cant comment on how my other half (TGF) is feeling in regards to England as she wont be coming over until later this year but
I have to say I have concerns in regards to how people will receive her in England.

I know I shoudnt be bothered but when I speak to true friends they confirm that they will be taking the piss,Which im sure will die down after a the first few meetings,But its the friends that say they think its great and whatever makes me happy .... This is normally code for im gonna slag you off behind your back.

Im sure things will be fine but some of you must have had the same thoughts ?

My wife, Filipina not Thai, adjusted very well in a short time.

But she still recalls the horrors of the first days.:)

First was the Taxi driver. A woman but extremely tall and with beard and a low voice. As this was the first women outside the airport she thought this might be standard here.

Second it was November. Not really cold but worse than that. Few degrees above zero, gusty wind, low dark clouds and drizzles of rain. And it continued like this for days. She declared she would not leave the appartement before it gets much warmer.

Then there were the trees. Her question why are all the trees dead?

Two month later we had the real winter. Extremely cold but sunny and the trees covered with frost. The river frozen so a lot of people on the ice on a most beautiful winter sunday. She was enchanted and I had to use force to get her back inside. She was freezing and did not even feel it.

Few month later we visited the Botanical Garden with its tropical greenhouse at 28°C but quite humid. She refused to enter as it was unbearable to her. I warned her then she would have a climate shock when we get back to the Philippines but she did not believe my warnings. As a result at our first return to her home country she was not even out of the plane when she felt the first gust of tropical air and declared: Let us go back home I cannot stand it.:)

Fortunately she had few problems with family, friends, and neighbours. She also adjusted to the unknown german language quickly. After 6 months her german was a lot better than it is now after 30 years. It deteriorated when she had more Filipina friends.

My wife picked up some of my habits, like saying ''Bloody hell'' and taking a shit with the door open.

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Originally Posted by KOBRIEN

I have to say I have concerns in regards to how people will receive her in England

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Depends on the people you mix with. If you have middle class, educated and well traveled friends then I think she will be received very well. On the other hand, if you mix with a bunch of chavs or low lives who have only ever been on holiday to Morcambe then yeah they might take the piss.

I have a mixture of friends and im happy for the genuine ones to take the piss
as it will be just a laugh with them.

But when you get idiots crossing the line what do you do ? Ignore them , punch them ?

Maybe im thinking too much about it and should only be concerned about how
I feel about the move and us both living together in the U.K

my wifes been with me now in north wales for 5 years.we have a 4 year old son.she seems happy enough,shes got two jobs,plenty of thai mates locally.she talks a little bit of welsh,which makes her popular with the locals.she goes to bingo with my mother every friday[she won thousand pounds one night]and shoping on a saturday.she never asks for money from me,and pays half the bills.the only problem she has is her weight[god i hope she doesnt read this or im dead]with scoffing our local grub..ie lamb,tatws,butter,kfc and ice cream.when we met 8 years ago she was 48kg,now shes 87kg.her concern has led her to buy an excersise bike.i love to watch her demented pedallings[like a hamster on a wheel]in her vain attempts to lose some blubber.we live right by the sea,but when me and the lad go for a walk when shes asked to join us she allways has an excuse not to go,''i need do laundry'' ''i need to do ironing'' '' you go ,i see you later teerak'' i think her allergic reaction to rambling in the countryside must be an issan trait,or maybe shes just lazy.we havent been back to thailand for 3 years due to my lowly paid servitude,shes got the money to go but doesnt.

My missus didn't like the way some farang pooying would tend to look at her as like a Nanny. Typical elitist attitude a lot of westerners have over Asians. Actually, she's glad to be back in Thailand. Don't have to shop around for an Oriental Grocery store like in the States. Food availability for her was also a problem living in the States.

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Originally Posted by chitown

Some of the things she has seemed to have a bit of trouble with is all the negativity people seem to have here. Often times my friend's wives try to give her advice on how to "keep me in line" or that she is too nice. They bad mouth their husbands and try to get her to do the same. She has also had some problems with the wives of my friends here in that they seem a bit jealous of her.

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wait until she starts watching Oprah every day, her attitude will become as negative. Women in America are very insecure, mostly because American men are pussy whipped and even more insecure.

how long are you staying there ? or is it permanent ?

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Originally Posted by chitown

Another thing is she is tired of is all the greasy, calorie packed meals that are made here. We went to a Bear's football party last weekend and there was a spread of about 1 million calories of crap on a table. Every time we are at someone's house for a meal it consists of huge slabs of meat, taters and ends with a pie, ice cream, cake etc.

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Welcome to America, the home of the fat bastards :)

glad to hear she is doing well Chitown.

My wife's (Filipina) occasional visits to the US with me over the past 20 years have always been interesting. On the first trip, she must have said, "Oh, my God" 200 times in one day, as she saw 300 lb American women in stretch pants, hair in curlers, each and every one of them carrying a 64 oz. Coke. In bars, conversations would stop and guys would just stare - like they had never seen an attractive 105 lb woman before (and possibly they hadn't). Food was a bit of a problem on the first trip or two, as I had never noticed that almost no American restaurants serve rice - and, those that did, served rice that she (correctly) declared inedible. Fortunately, we found a few Thai places close by and a great Cambodian restaurant. When we went to American style restaurants, we ordered one entree and split it, and had food left over. She found a blouse in the mall that she really liked, and paid about $60 for it; far more than I have ever seen her spend on clothes. Total disgust when, upon closer inspection at home, she found the tag that said "Made in Philippines". People were always nice, as Americans generally tend to be, but she found their ignorance of things outside of the US borders, and their lack of interest in learning, somewhat strange. On a subsequent trip, it snowed, and she thought that was really neat; played in the snow for hours. She hasn't been back for about 8 years, and we are taking the twins in a few months for their first visit (they have only been to Hawaii previously). It should be interesting. As a final note, all of her trips have been to either the Northern Virginia area, or California - I often wonder how she would react to middle America (or how I would). People in the DC area tend to be fairly well-traveled (for Americans) and in San Diego, most of our SEAL team friends are married to either Thais or Filipinas so that just seemed like home to her, as she is a Filipina, but had lived in Thailand with me for six years and also speaks some Thai.

I'm too fond of the Midget to inflict the UK upon her.

When the girlfriend is over in the states, she is very surprised at the cost of food (vegetables and fruit in the grocery store).

She doesn’t like how long it takes to do some simple things. An example,……..if you need a photocopy here in Thailand,…just go out to the end of the Soi and you’ll find some place open that will copy something for you. In the states you have to go across town (her words) to get a copy. She also doesn’t like to plan her trips out. Here in Thailand she can just head out the door with things in mind she wants to do. In the states she says she’ll have to plan, because places are so far apart from one another.

She also gets upset at times when we are talking to people (sales people, help and not friends and their family and my family) and they will address me and not her, even when she’s doing the ordering/requesting (the gf's English skills are good).

She’ll get upset at me because I’m a bit protective. She wants to drive certain places alone and I’ll ask her to wait for me. She doesn’t understand some neighborhoods in Miami.

Excess bothers the girlfriend. Last time the gf was in the states, a friend’s wife (who has taken to the girlfriend) took her shopping to a nice mall (http://www.balharbourshops.com/photo-gallery/take-a-tour.html) and when she got back, she told me that it was excessive. I’ve taken her to nice places (she likes our outdoor malls around the beach) but even I tend to shy away from those places.

She does enjoy the cleanliness of our beaches/water, public parks, clean open roadways (traffic) and city planning (layout, business vs. residential). She also likes the diversity of people she sees while in the states (Florida, California & NY) and how modern things are.

The girlfriend has told me her experience in the states should be better this time around (March till the end of May) when she’ll be with some of her Thai friends in Minnesota, Seattle and San Diego before meeting up with me in LA on our way back to Thailand.

All in all, she does enjoy visiting the states and the food (loves BBQ baked beans and trying different BBQ sauces). She has also has told me if we stayed longer in Miami, she would want to start Spanish courses (she wants to know if they are talking about her).

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Originally Posted by Butterfly

wait until she starts watching Oprah every day, her attitude will become as negative. Women in America are very insecure, mostly because American men are pussy whipped and even more insecure.

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She hates Oprah, Springer and the Wendy Williams show in Chicago. Wendy looks, sounds and acts like a ladyboy!

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Originally Posted by Butterfly

how long are you staying there ? or is it permanent ?

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About 9 months here. The plan is to be in Thailand for the winter (6 to 8 months) and Chitown for the summer (4 to 6 months)

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Originally Posted by Butterfly

Welcome to America, the home of the fat bastards :)

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I don't recall people being this big when I was living here. We went to a fund raiser tonight with about 1000 people and I swear there was not one woman under 200 pounds. The men in attendance were drooling over Mrs. Chi. She eats healthy and is in the gym 2 or 3 hours a day. They are not used to seeing that. :)

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Originally Posted by S Landreth

When the girlfriend is over in the states, she is very surprised at the cost of food (vegetables and fruit in the grocery store).

She doesn’t like how long it takes to do some simple things. An example,……..if you need a photocopy here in Thailand,…just go out to the end of the Soi and you’ll find some place open that will copy something for you. In the states you have to go across town (her words) to get a copy. She also doesn’t like to plan her trips out. Here in Thailand she can just head out the door with things in mind she wants to do. In the states she says she’ll have to plan, because places are so far apart from one another.

She also gets upset at times when we are talking to people (sales people, help and not friends and their family and my family) and they will address me and not her, even when she’s doing the ordering/requesting (the gf's English skills are good).

She’ll get upset at me because I’m a bit protective. She wants to drive certain places alone and I’ll ask her to wait for me. She doesn’t understand some neighborhoods in Miami.

Excess bothers the girlfriend. Last time the gf was in the states, a friend’s wife (who has taken to the girlfriend) took her shopping to a nice mall (http://www.balharbourshops.com/photo-gallery/take-a-tour.html) and when she got back, she told me that it was excessive. I’ve taken her to nice places (she likes our outdoor malls around the beach) but even I tend to shy away from those places.

She does enjoy the cleanliness of our beaches/water, public parks, clean open roadways (traffic) and city planning (layout, business vs. residential). She also likes the diversity of people she sees while in the states (Florida, California & NY) and how modern things are.

The girlfriend has told me her experience in the states should be better this time around (March till the end of May) when she’ll be with some of her Thai friends in Minnesota, Seattle and San Diego before meeting up with me in LA on our way back to Thailand.

All in all, she does enjoy visiting the states and the food (loves BBQ baked beans and trying different BBQ sauces). She has also has told me if we stayed longer in Miami, she would want to start Spanish courses (she wants to know if they are talking about her).

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A very interesting post - almost a mirror image of what foreigners experience after arrival in Thailand.

Suppose the funniest but obvious learning experience was upon leaving the airport, I was asked to pull over and stop the car. Wife jumps out with camera and starts taking photos of road construction workers. Curious, I asked her why the photos of construction guys. Her answer "Must send home so people believe me. No one in Thailand ever see farang work like this.":)

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Originally Posted by DJ Pat

My wife picked up some of my habits, like saying ''Bloody hell''

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I took Joy to the UK a few years back to meet my Dad (a retired Anglican Priest).

I came down in the morning to find them both sitting around the kitchen table chatting.

Dad was looking a tad subdued.

Joy left to go and do something and Dad coughed and said;

"I say old chap, young Joy (45) might need a little help with her English"

"Why's that?" say I.

"Well", he said "I'm not sure "FUCK ME DEAD" is too appropriate for a young lady".

Bless her.

I laughed till I cried.

My lovely other half Jan has been in the UK with me now for over 2.5 years , and all I can tell you is the same as I tell her . " How proud I am of the way she has adapted "
She has been well recieved and loved by my family + friends ,, my 3 grandchildren love her to bits , infact were going to see them today .

She cooks the most wonderfull roast spuds ( her method ) + cheese sauce , bakes cakes , scones , a wonderfull chocolate marble cake , bear in mind she had never used a conventional oven in Issan .
We bought an old bungalow where we live by the sea on the east coast ,, she rolled her sleeves up with me helped me do everything from wallpapering to fitting a new kitchen ,, and gave me buckets full of encouragement along the way.
I have taught her to grow veg in our garden and she loves all that , she,s even had a go at a bit of woodwork and made me a windowbox for my new shed.
I have got her involved in my hobby of motorbike racing ( it scared the shit out of her at her first meeting ) but now she loves it has met some riders in the pits etc and we travel around the country to watch it,, also sits alongside me in my other hobby of painting and has a go bless her.
She works full time in a local care home and has many Filliphino friends there now , i have also got her some other Thai friends .

We are both very happy and have been back to Thai once since she,s been were off to the carribean soon , she never bleats about going back to thai.

I am one of the lucky ones I know and God I love her to bits !

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Originally Posted by ferretface

when we met 8 years ago she was 48kg,now shes 87kg.her concern has led her to buy an excersise bike

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how much does that weigh?

You will have to tell her the only way to lose weight is to make som tam every day (it is possible in the UK; you can use carrots if papaya is not available)

she doesn't have to eat it, just sniff

I showed Laosy a Thai restaurant menu on thr net.
This restaurant is in stockbrokers belt.
Her reaction to the prices were "you have to be fucking joking".

Dr A, wife says shredded Swede can be used instead of Papaya, carrot wrong colour.

First year in the UK bought some hair shine from boots and top was broken, was in tears as she thought she had to throw it away, told her take it back and they will change it, something they never do in Thailand.

Loves boiled Bacon pease pudding, roast beef and yorkshire pudding, but still eats the stinking fish Thai food, and has only put on twelve pounds in seven years.

wife arrived in june in brisbane 6-10 degrees spent half the day wrapped in a doona, had trouble with the food as hates falung food.
so took her out to local thai resturant happy to speak thai with the owners and they promised to make her spicy som tam.
It arrived wife announced no spicy and pulled out plastic zip bag full of crushed chillies out of her bag proudly announcing get from thailand no tell customs.

tnen procedded to turn the som tam to the desired red colouring she was used to was not happy with the food and died when she saw the bill, no eat here she said.
so off to thai markets next day to stock up, and buy some ugg boots

Yorkshire puddies.
The Thais will murder you for them.
Add a little sugar.
They will murder you twice.

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Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Yorkshire puddies.
The Thais will murder you for them.
Add a little sugar.
They will murder you twice.

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When I first read your post, I thought you said Yorkshire puppies. :rofl:

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Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

They will murder you twice.

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not very good at murdering then?

My wife got a bicycle and would use it to get to the tube station in the mornings - she wouldn't do that in a million years back home.

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Originally Posted by chitown

What are some of the things your wife had trouble adjusting too in your country?

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The fact that virtually every pub meal was served with chips, which she hates.
Soon sorted that out though- she likes a steak, and she'd get that served with rice instead. She brought her own chilli sauce in her handbag.

Besides that, nothing. She met a fair few TG's out shopping, but was never interested in joining any 'Thai community' thing at all. In fact I got the idea she thought most of them were biatches. There was one laotian girl she met that was totally lost- hardly knew how to shop or anything. She thought she was quite sweet, and showed her how to shop.

:cmn:mrs.taff took to the uk.like a duck to water,got a job in catering worked her way up to management only lost 2days work through illness,she supervised a team of 15 and was a great motivator,but every one used to ask why she never took time off work and cheat the system and talk behind her back,if she then found out they shit their selves{hard bastard},but she had the last laugh,owns a nice house in the uk.a cracking one in thailand and retired at 44,she can also pronounce swear words correct one in a millionxxxxxxxxxx

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Originally Posted by DJ Pat

My wife got a bicycle and would use it to get to the tube station in the mornings

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The wheels were still on it in the evening ?

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Originally Posted by oldgit

First year in the UK bought some hair shine from boots and top was broken, was in tears as she thought she had to throw it away, told her take it back and they will change it, something they never do in Thailand.

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If you buy an item from Boots in Thailand and it's broken, it will be exchanged too.

^Was Boots here 7 years ago?

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Originally Posted by oldgit

First year in the UK bought

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Originally Posted by oldgit

put on twelve pounds in seven years.

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Yes it was.

2006 107 Boots stores in Thailand, 6 had just opened at the airport, I would imagine the majority of Thais have never even heard of the shop let alone shopped there.

Boots were on KSR 10 years ago.

They opened in 1997, and for sure most Thais wouldn't have shopped there.

That doesn't mean that in Thailand you can't return goods though does it?

It just shows that a lot Thais aren't aware of the easy exchange policies of most retail chains, because they don't use these kind of shops as often.

If she had bought something in Boots in Thailand she probably wouldn't have known she could exchange it too.

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Originally Posted by oldgit

carrot wrong colour.

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Thats interesting- mrs quite happily made som tam out of carrot actually, and dirt cheap in the Adelaide Hills too. She even has over here sometimes.

She grew her own chilli's too- the small ones that are generally just grown for decorative purposes over there, but of course you know a Thai better than that. Great for prik nam pla she reckoned. :)

Her 'toned down' yam woon sen was a local and family favourite- requested at every get together.

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Originally Posted by DJ Pat

My wife got a bicycle and would use it to get to the tube station in the mornings - she wouldn't do that in a million years back home.

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You got married?

^Try to keep up. It's a fantasy wife - just like his fantasy life.:rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by KOBRIEN

I have a mixture of friends and im happy for the genuine ones to take the piss
as it will be just a laugh with them.

But when you get idiots crossing the line what do you do ? Ignore them , punch them ?

Maybe im thinking too much about it and should only be concerned about how
I feel about the move and us both living together in the U.K

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"She's nice. Can you get me one?" -Type remarks are to be expected from a few mates, but I've only really had people generally being polite and respectful to me and the missus during the several times we've been to the UK.

One wag in the pub who repeatedly asked me if she "loved me long time" got a clip round the ear, though.

It seemed to me when I stayed in East Anglia for a couple of years that most Thai women that got taken to the UK by their husbands, after 4/5 years scarped.

I remember there was a well publicized case of a the chairman of the gas board, retired and got a sweet little thing from Pattaya about 1/4 his age and settle down to married bliss & retirement in Norfolk, but his wife missed the bright lights and handsum men From Patts and took the tin budgie back home for good.