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There are far to many sensible posters on this forum. They should be banned from everywhere outside of news and issues. I would much rather read and partake in a rambling about Scampys toenails or DJPats latest attempt to sire a three thumbed thingy. There is a good reason i read the Sun. :)
hear hear, and now we have a nice long list in this forum to peruse and decide which scum to ban from the top half forever more.
The Sun..bit posh innit..ahhh...I understand now..you just buy it for the breasts and Dear DeirdreQuote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Because I do stretching exercises, I can bite my toenails - but not after a day wearing sandals.
Because I do stretching exercises, I can fellate myself to quite a splendid climax - but not after a day wearing speedos.
Scampy in shock sandal disclosure.
Today, Scamp revealed that he wears sandals whilst exercising his wrist.
In a full and candid confession he said " plimpsolls are for musclemen".
Now there's a word I haven't heard in years!Quote:
plimpsolls
There's only one, kid.Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Speedos not for cocksuckers shock.
An expert in mono fellatio claims that speedos make your knackersack taste like sweaty bollocks.
Somtamslap (57), of no fixed eyes, has a large collection of soiled fruit and a David Carradine poster he would like to auction off.
Schizzo milkperson shags goats confession.
WITHNALLSTOKE IN RECORD BREAKING TRAFFIC CONE UP THE SHITTER ATTEMPT
David Blaine copycat, Withnallstoke (12) is attempting to out do his hero by inserting a traffic cone, stolen from a road works down the A3, into his anal passage for the rest of his life. When asked if this would be an illusionist's prank, Withnall, replied in the negative.."Fook off dook..now fetch me mallet and start 'ammering will yer"..
Follow the story www.sadomasachisticnorthernwankers.com
Foook. The links bost.Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Yup, talk about blast from the past. Normally associated with military issued 'training' shoes, typically made of canvas, and scrubbed and whitened as a form of recreation! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
Cone horror oop north.
The latest attempt at conal anal has had to be declared void after the attemptor sneezed moments after full insertion, and judge Dread was sparked out by the blunt end of a cone. In the ensuing melee, a second judge was also knocked unconscious by another cone believed to have come from the anus of the attemptor.
Withnallstokes lawyers apologised on his behalf, and offered the explanation that " he forgot to remove the practice cone from this mornings session."
WITHNALLSTOKE IN LINK 'BOSTING' PROBE
A riot squad were deployed at an allotment shed in Upper Bunghole today after an emergency call by a stunned pensioner. Elsie Wankworth, (107) from Bottomsworth, was walking her pet poodle, when she heard a fracas coming from a shed in the allotment..the door of the shed was supposedly flung open and a traffic cone on legs burst it's way out..Elsie then tells of her horror as the cone seemed to converse with her..."I AM THE WEAKEST LINK, it bellowed..
Apparently, Stoke had just lost at home to Port Vale..
Follow the story at www.weakestlinkwithtrafficconeuparse.com
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Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtydog
he has a point though.
Sir Wilson points the finger
Earlier today, an androgynous manicured finger was pointed.
Under interrogation, the owner blurrted out "Oi somtam, i thought you only did this to yourself. I only came in here for a laugh. Ya bastard."
Vee have vayz of making you talk...
OOPz. Somtam spitz his own.
After an evening bent double in the wardrobe, somtam spat the contents of himself onto his keyboard and made some of the keyz sticky.
"Nrf icken comment" was nearly all that was forthcoming.
kind of goes hand in hand with satchell i thought :chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
You Poms are fucking weird. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
Mate has Miggins handed the baton to you and to carry on some macabre internet relay rant tradition? :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Before my old art teacher used to whack my arse in front of the class with an old (plimsole ), he bent me over and covered my kecks in chalk dust so when the ( plimsole ) connected with my arse cheeks at 50 MPH the ensuing dust cloud obliterated the front 3 rows of the class for the next 10 mins.
The very word ( plimsole ) still strikes fear into me some 50 years later.
Need I say more! :mid:Quote:
Originally Posted by nigelandjan
So this means I gotta be more sensible? No more MKP?
Absolutely not.Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Pat
So what am I meant to do in my spare time?
how many spare times do you have ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nigelandjan
PLIMSOLE
Loy Toy in lurid baton allegations
Earlier today, esteemed member Loy Toy went into graphic details of a sexual act between two other (unnamed) members involving a baton and a sports type shoe. More details to follow after littigation.
WITHNALLSTOKE IN LARGE RED PLIMSOLE INQUIRY
Withnallstoke (7), was spotted on his way to nursery school this morning wearing a large red plimsole. Several witnesses described of how, Withnall, of 87 Arris Avenue, fed his cone plimsole after plimsole which he kept secreted in a large satchel. Onlookers then said he pulled out a large red plimsole which he surprisingly put on his foot and limped the rest of the way to playgroup. He was last seen trying to insert it up his teacher's backside.
Police have been informed and have surrounded the classroom.
follow the progress on this story www.ifeedmyarseplimsoles.com
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Originally Posted by sunsetterkind of goes hand in hand with satchell i thought :chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
YouTube - Demented Are Go Rubber Plimsoles
Thanks Withstke ,,,,,,,,,,,you have left a gibbering wreck hiding under the duvet ,,
another terrifying word to go with the ( plimsole ) is >>>>>>> ( tapioca ) this disgusting frogspawn like stuff was forced down you untill you at least vomited your cabbage that had been boiling for the last 4 hours .
Remember >>>>>>> " you cant leave the table untill you have finished all your dinna !! "
My grandchildren tell me they get a choice of dinners now ,, ah school days dont you just love em ?
Slippery somtam slurper Somtamslaps slewed slander.
Somtamslap (of no fixed weight) today took time out from his pie eating and penis gobbling to accuse a member of attempted insertion of a gym shoe into an adults bottom. A lawyer is looking into it.
WITHNALLSTOKE CHARGED WITH PLIMSOLE BUGGERY
In the first case of it's kind, Withnallstoke (5 and three quarters) has been charged and sentenced to 3 years in a lunatic asylum after a 2 year plimsole buggering spree. Before handing out the jail term, Judge Plimpsole McSatchell referred to Withnall as an extreme threat to every functioning anal passage in society. Withnall, who's demeanour remained remorseless behind the dock, only spoke to confirm his shoe size.
Check out the asylum's webcam.. www.lockedupforplimsolebuggery.com
***Awaits Dirty dog official statement on the MKP forum****
We are amused.
And amazed. That this bollacks is still in the lounge, whilst the loony news experts are banished to mkp.
:ourrules:
and there they shall stay too, soon news will have none but Mid posting in there.Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
I used to have a woggle but got kicked out for refusing to wear it. :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by sunsetterkind of goes hand in hand with satchell i thought :chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp