Does empathy exist in Thailand?

Does empathy exist in Thailand?

I have moved from country to country more than once in my life and worked in many places in the world. When I transplanted myself from the UK to Canada it took me about four years to really feel at home and ultimately I reached a point where I felt I belonged more there than in my country of birth. Not so with Thailand. I think there are a number of reasons why:
* The language barrier.
* The hot country – cold country, bread culture – rice culture dichotomy.
* The fact that I have never felt wanted or accepted here the way I did in Canada.
However, the most powerful factor for me was the realisation that the things I liked most about Thailand, that I enjoyed when I vacationed here and that made me happy when I first lived here, don't really exist. Thais have a very large front side which they present to the world, but once you see their back sides - and I am not being cute here - there is very little to like, enjoy or respect. While I know, like and respect quite a few Thais, I don't like most of them. They are selfish, childish, vindictive, uneducated and dishonest. Everything they do is motivated by self-interest and, I think this was the final nail in the coffin for me, most are entirely lacking in empathy. That means my time here is drawing to a close. I don't want to spend my final days as a stranger in a strange land. I haven't integrated because I don't want to. I think becoming more Thai would diminish me as a person. I am sure I might come back to visit, but that is a very different proposition than living here.

Do you want the short answer?

To answer your question.

The closest Thai phrase for empathy that I have come across is: "Som num na"

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Originally Posted by Moonraker

To answer your question.

The closest Thai phrase for empathy that I have come across is: "Som num na"

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Yes that's it precisely, Sum num na, serves you right, tough shit. That's the closest they got to empathy

The Thais are selfsh, self-centred egotistical xenophobes.

Oh the irony.

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Originally Posted by watterinja

The Thais are selfsh, self-centred egotistical xenophobes.

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but they have great tits

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Originally Posted by rudder

Does empathy exist in Thailand?

I have moved from country to country more than once in my life and worked in many places in the world. When I transplanted myself from the UK to Canada it took me about four years to really feel at home and ultimately I reached a point where I felt I belonged more there than in my country of birth. Not so with Thailand. I think there are a number of reasons why:
* The language barrier.
* The hot country – cold country, bread culture – rice culture dichotomy.
* The fact that I have never felt wanted or accepted here the way I did in Canada.
However, the most powerful factor for me was the realisation that the things I liked most about Thailand, that I enjoyed when I vacationed here and that made me happy when I first lived here, don't really exist. Thais have a very large front side which they present to the world, but once you see their back sides - and I am not being cute here - there is very little to like, enjoy or respect. While I know, like and respect quite a few Thais, I don't like most of them. They are selfish, childish, vindictive, uneducated and dishonest. Everything they do is motivated by self-interest and, I think this was the final nail in the coffin for me, most are entirely lacking in empathy. That means my time here is drawing to a close. I don't want to spend my final days as a stranger in a strange land. I haven't integrated because I don't want to. I think becoming more Thai would diminish me as a person. I am sure I might come back to visit, but that is a very different proposition than living here.

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Mate!

NAIL
HEAD
HIT!

You are 110% correct, the grass is always greener, and living here is definately not like having a vacation here...believe me, it is not a smiling land by any means!

Golf cheap, women cheaper, electricity bill sod all, beer cold, just don't have anything to do with the Thais, except shag em.
England on the other hand. Golf out of the question, weather frosty, women frostier, lecky bill outrageous, people miserable, can't smoke anywhere.......................blah blah.....

You're quite a sad person Rudder. You have my sympathy.

How about a thread on how often Thais say "sorry". That's always a good one for 100 posts or so. But, perhaps not on here - TV with all the newbies to LOS maybe?:rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Golf cheap, women cheaper, electricity bill sod all, beer cold, just don't have anything to do with the Thais, except shag em.
England on the other hand. Golf out of the question, weather frosty, women frostier, lecky bill outrageous, people miserable, can't smoke anywhere.......................blah blah.....

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I wouldn't mention golf these days, it seems to be the sport of faunicating negroes!

And, the electric here is not really cheap.

I must admit, I do miss the classy women from Newcastle, with their bags of chips and batter, and red blotched thighs, how sweet, varicose vains in their pierced belly buttons, a sight to die for, and the Chill Blains, oh how romantic, why would anyone want to leave the UK?

God made this for me!

^

I think some drool just landed on my lap.

Rudder sometimes I feel the same then two days later something happens that re affirms my love for Thailand. Tis week it was a visit to Ko Chang and a drive across the province that was very enjoyable. England has never given me this lift.
The lows here are low, but the highs make up for it.
Don't involve yourself with the average Thai, and for those of you in long term relationships then your partner is not average, they have a farang which is not the norm. Thais are actually the worst bit about LOS IMWTFHO.
Take them out of the mix and there's nothing really to dislike.
In these days of trouble I trust no one, but then again I never did, and as far as I'm concerned everyone is self centered just in Thailand they don't try to hide it as it is not considered a personality disorder as it is in the west.
Times have always been hard here, unless you drive a tuk tuk or you are JJ, and these people are now becoming more self centered as their situation worsens.
In Europe when the economic shit hits the fan we actually have a more "mai pen rai" attitude than alot of the Thais. The tuk tuk thing is ample example.
They are making outragious suggestion to protect themselves financially, in the west we would understand that if there ain't no custom then the jobs gone bent.
Thailand always seems to over promise and under deliver, but if you don't believe the promises then you're usually not disappointed.
I don't involve myself with Thais other than very superficially or to screw them, physically speaking that is.
It sound to me that you are looking for love which in Thailand is anything from fluid to financial. Thai on Thai relationships seen to be more money based, their pop music is a clue where relationships tend seldom to be based purely on love and their soup operas are same same.
The whole place is an illusion created by Thai culture, remove that and you have an "allright" place to live.

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Originally Posted by rudder

Does empathy exist in Thailand?

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Does it exist anywhere?

Sure. In very small doses.

And for those few people that do empathize, does it change anything? Your situation?

I like Tiger's lifestyle. I just had to move to Thailand to achieve it.
He is half Thai so half licentious you know.

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Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Times have always been hard here, unless you drive a tuk tuk or you are JJ,

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Not hard for me. Wot are you referring to?

160 baht a day.

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Originally Posted by rudder

Does empathy exist in Thailand?

I have moved from country to country more than once in my life and worked in many places in the world. When I transplanted myself from the UK to Canada it took me about four years to really feel at home and ultimately I reached a point where I felt I belonged more there than in my country of birth. Not so with Thailand. I think there are a number of reasons why:
* The language barrier.
* The hot country – cold country, bread culture – rice culture dichotomy.
* The fact that I have never felt wanted or accepted here the way I did in Canada.
However, the most powerful factor for me was the realisation that the things I liked most about Thailand, that I enjoyed when I vacationed here and that made me happy when I first lived here, don't really exist. Thais have a very large front side which they present to the world, but once you see their back sides - and I am not being cute here - there is very little to like, enjoy or respect. While I know, like and respect quite a few Thais, I don't like most of them. They are selfish, childish, vindictive, uneducated and dishonest. Everything they do is motivated by self-interest and, I think this was the final nail in the coffin for me, most are entirely lacking in empathy. That means my time here is drawing to a close. I don't want to spend my final days as a stranger in a strange land. I haven't integrated because I don't want to. I think becoming more Thai would diminish me as a person. I am sure I might come back to visit, but that is a very different proposition than living here.

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Despite what these fucking toe rags say, pardon my French, but you seem to have a fair perception on the land of smiles, despite what the long term reprobates try to tell you.

Let me tell you my views,

If, as by some grace of god, I could wake up tomorrow, with about 10 million US in the bank, I would get in my pick up, drive 3KM to the nearest gas station, I would buy 1000 Bahts worth of octane 95, I would slowly drive home, spitting at the roadside vendors, especially the ones that sell roast chicken.

And the fuckers that try to sell (but no one buys_) that psuedo candy floss shit) oh, how I would douse the lot of them!

Then, ensuring I had an air ticket to a better place, Somalia, Uganda, Botswana, I would merrily douse the house, to the Tom Waits Song, Franks Wild Years,.,,you may laugh, but keep an eye out on TV and the Nation...

And fire up the whole fucking lot...but first I would need to invite the Grandparents too!

Sadly I don't have a small dog called Carlos...anyone want a burning Thai Dog?

Silly me, I almost forgot t let you know that should
i receive good fortune, there surely will be a warming PYRE at my local temple, providing the exits are locked!

Frank's Wild Years! Never did like that dog...
Green for the Waits reference Miggsy.

erm..you'll have to take a raincheck on the green mate...I'm good for it, honest!

Have to agree with rudder but I am hoping to improve my (and so our) lot by moving to Chiang Mai. For 6 years I have been living just outside of my wifes village and it has been nice but over the years I got more and more tired of what little social interaction the locals provided. Initially I enjoyed it but eventually I realised that basically, they don't give a shit. Typically I was the novelty farang at the wedding/ funeral and you must have a shot of whiskey and how we laughed as I screw up my nose hilarity. The worst was at a local mx meeting with the commentator making all sorts of racist suggestions over the PA and him thinking it was hilarious. I resisted the urge to throw one of my beers at him and thought how in my country you would get in a fair amount of trouble for doing something like that. Poor people just trying to make the hard tmes feel better I suppose but now I just stay at home and never go to anything apart from the few farang mates I have made there. Don't get me wrong, I am quite happy at home but sometimes I feel bad that I don't do anything in the evenings with my wife.

We'll give CM a go, I don't expect it to magically get better but I pride myself on integrating with the locals wherever I am and at least it won't be worse.


Failing that, back to Australia

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Originally Posted by Missismiggins

If, as by some grace of god, I could wake up tomorrow, with about 10 million US in the bank, I would get in my pick up, drive 3KM to the nearest gas station, I would buy 1000 Bahts worth of octane 95, I would slowly drive home, spitting at the roadside vendors, especially the ones that sell roast chicken. And the fuckers that try to sell (but no one buys_) that psuedo candy floss shit) oh, how I would douse the lot of them! Then, ensuring I had an air ticket to a better place, Somalia, Uganda, Botswana, I would merrily douse the house, to the Tom Waits Song, Franks Wild Years,.,,you may laugh, but keep an eye out on TV and the Nation...

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Hey Rudder

Don't be fooled. Miggins loves the place AND the people. He just won't admit it.

:)

Never could stand thst dog!

Bottom line - farang men and Thai men have very little or nothing in common. Their jokes suck and they haven't a clue re western humor. Me & the missus will occasionally drive to "town" for a little karaoke - no guns or badasses so far touch wood...

You want empathy, then move to a western, politically correct country where they will bend over backwards to assist you in your plight... Often to the detriment of their own people...

Empathy in SEA, forgetaboutit...

^
Yeah, like that Utopian Socialist Paradise...what was the name? New Zeland -where everybody has empathy and free health care!:)

Whats wrong with New Zealand?

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Originally Posted by Sdigit

Whats wrong with New Zealand?

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Nothing...just trying to get a dig into one of our resident "usual suspects" who loves socialized medicine!:)

Ah, with you now :)

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Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Thais are actually the worst bit about LOS

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Actually the worse thing about Thailand is the idiot loser farangs such as yourself and rudder, who come here purely because they can't afford to live back home or find a girl who would give them half a second of their time.

^ Please go back to TV... Your insults are getting a bit, um, weary...

OP, joined this month, has 8 posts, 3 of them are OP's.

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Does empathy exist in Thailand?

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What can i do about defamation by an admin on a forum?

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Is this the only country where more is spent on prostitution than education?

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And he's not a troll.:rolleyes:

Obviously there are a lot of nice guys as well, just unfortunate there are such a large number of idiots to go with them. Let's be honest, Thailand really attracts them.

^^
Another Erco clone by the tone of his posts...:mid:

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Originally Posted by jandajoy

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Originally Posted by the dogcatcher

Times have always been hard here, unless you drive a tuk tuk or you are JJ,

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Not hard for me. Wot are you referring to?

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Weird. Maybe he was referring to the infamous Phuket jet ski JJ? Not sure.

Does empathy exist here? Hell no.

Does it exist in the west? No again.

People possess fake sympathy and guilt in the west, pluck the heart strings and watch the money arrive. Gets them every time. England has TV shows/events dedicated to it.

Empathy is a rare trait. Everywhere.

Red nose day?

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Originally Posted by StrontiumDog

Empathy is a rare trait. Everywhere.

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Empathy, by definition, involves trying to imagine yourself in another's position. Since most people operate under an illusion of 'it'll never happen to me', it stands to reason that empathy ain't most folks strong point. In any country. Sympathy, yes. Empathy, no.

One thing that makes me wonder is the treatment one gets in hospital here, compared to the USA or Japan (the limit of my personal experience). I have always found the Thai and Thai Chinese staff to be very attentive, very kind, and caring compared to the States. You'll get thorough care in the States but there generally seems to be both a carefully maintained professional distance and also a distinct emphasis on the authority of the nurses and docs. I think the professional distance and authority are intact in Thai hospitals, but the Thais have a way at least conveying human warmth at the same time. While I have had my doubts at times about the medical treatments themselves, I have never had any complaints about how my family have been treated.

On a possibly related note, the Thais are not averse to showing pity, and I think I hear "na song sarn" at least as often if not a lot more than "som num na", but while people often confuse the two sentiments they are far from the same. As to the difference between empathy and sympathy, empathy connotes an ability to feel, while sympathy can be involuntary, and is often expressed in established forms; one can vomit in sympathetic response, and send sympathy cards. In fact, one might even say that sympathy is what you express, while empathy is what one feels- it is inside, the "in feeling."