News from the future.

2040

Britain:


White minorities still trying to have English recognised a UK’s third language

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for refusing to wear a Burqa: Being a Christian is no excuse says school. Sharia law must be obeyed.

Britain now has 10 universities of political correctness. Professor Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to prevent people saying what they think and upsetting others.

World News:

Japan has pledged to no longer consume whale meat as whales are extinct and the scientific research fleet will now concentrate on shark research.

Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least another 10 years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


The US supreme Court rules that punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.


Jose manuel Rodriguz Bush says he will run in the 2042 Presidential election against President Chelsea Clinton who will run for a second term.

Germany:

The conversion of the Berlin Cathedral into a grand mosque is now complete. In his speech at the opening ceremony the minister for Religious Freedom Mohamed Al Mahood praised the progress in wiping out the Crusader legacy that had held the world back for so long.
He showed the tolerance of the Government by stating that Christians are still allowed to practice their religion in the privacy of their own homes but warned that attempting to covert a true believer to Christianity or any other heathen religion was punishable by death.

More news as it comes to hand.

meh....

Excellent OP narrative. :smilie_clap: Thanks, I've copied & saved it to Word.

Bangkok 2040

Most residents and businesses left the city a decade earlier when sea levels left the city permanently under 20cm of water. That level is now 30cm and those who couldn't afford to stay are living in extreme slum poverty without electric, clean water or street food. Nearly all floodwater is severley contaminated with sewage and deadly bacteria, and black market water purifying tablets and somtam are thriving.

Despite all this, those stuck in the city are still convinced that Buddha will reverse the damage within a year, according to the Buddha Corporate Holdings CEO Thanaya Na Ayutthaya. She stated that as long as monthly donations are being paid, this is still in progress.

One resident was beaming as she dropped her cash into a donation box. ''I know they've been promising this for over 20yrs now, but we as Thai people have faith in Buddha and they say we will soon be dry and living in a clean, modern new city. Last year, the year before, and the year before that they told us thieves stole all the cash so we came together and boosted donations, again''

Pattaya 2040

City Hall officials have allocated a budget for a drainage flow system along Beach & Second Roads. They have also promised to stop raw sewage pipes dumping waste into the sea. Police have vowed to clamp down on jetski scammers and are looking into an improved cctv system along Beach Road, where tourists have complained about pickpockets and aggressive ladyboys.

Disputes regarding double parking, sabotage and aggressive behaviour by songthaew drivers have entered a sixth week after the completion of the tram lines along Beach & Second Roads. The tram opening dates were put back after the newly laid tracks fell apart and disappeared after a short rainfall caused severe flooding along the route.

A Swedish tourist, 39, jumped from his 15th floor hotel room. Police have ruled it as suicide despite a katoey giving a full confession and showing a video of him being bundled over the egde by a group of ladyboys.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Bangkok 2040

Most residents and businesses left the city a decade earlier when sea levels left the city permanently under 20cm of water. That level is now 30cm and those who couldn't afford to stay are living in extreme slum poverty without electric, clean water or street food. Nearly all floodwater is severley contaminated with sewage and deadly bacteria, and black market water purifying tablets and somtam are thriving.

Despite all this, those stuck in the city are still convinced that Buddha will reverse the damage within a year, according to the Buddha Corporate Holdings CEO Thanaya Na Ayutthaya. She stated that as long as monthly donations are being paid, this is still in progress.

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That same year, Bangkok Real Estate association publishes record prices as most condos are now surrounded by 360 degree riverfront views.

TAT's advertises Bangkok as Venice of Asia and it works! Tourists are flocking in record numbers.

TC's condo building has been converted to Madame Tussauds Ocean World Special.

https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2018/05/1447.jpg

2041.

Islaamaphobia still number one concern amongst the less educated.

DJ Pat ~ your Post #4, :smilie_clap: is spot-on, and, it's also been saved to Word. Thanks, for sharing. Cheers!

Ant & Smeg are both certified senile and but administrative mix up has somehow put them in the same OAP's home

They get wheeled onto the porch at 9am and spend the next 12hrs exchanging obscenities. By the next day it's all forgotten so they start a new argument from scratch.

Luigi brings Ant flowers each morning then returns at 9pm to get them back
The next day he brings the same flowers at 9am again repeatrs this process 7 days a week.


Last week they banned him

https://teakdoor.com/attachment.php?a...id=12615&stc=1

Ring Wing Fail! You forgot to clumsily bring up Lee Rigby, completely ignoring his family's wishes.
No mention of Lodinistan or Sadiq Khant.

D+ for effort

Although their numbers have dramatically decreased, some of their offspring are still carrying the torch.........

https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2018/05/1213.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nidhogg

2041.

Islaamaphobia still number one concern amongst the less educated.

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Islamophobia still misspelt by the pseudo educated.

Wall Street banks merge to form a new super bank, Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED). Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.



Global cooling blamed for the Little Asia (formally Australia) citrus crop failure for the third consecutive year in Victoria India and New South Iraq

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hugh Cow

Islamophobia still misspelt by the pseudo educated.

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If it makes you feel good about yourself, sure.

Since the break up of the European Union 10 years ago the deportation of illegal immigrants from the majority of European countries to Germany, France and England has continued and now Italy, Greece and Poland have announced the purge in their countries is complete and that they welcome Christian refugees from the three European Islamic Republics.

The Asia-Russia-Free Europe-Africa trade block has agreed to scrap all sanctions against the USA as they no longer trade with them.

Elvis spotted at Waitrose, Finchley.

2060

A farang is scammed by his bargirl GF after she claims that her robo-buffalo back home has a mechanical problem

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DJ Pat

2060

A farang is scammed by his bargirl GF after she claims that her robo-buffalo back home has a mechanical problem

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That made my wife spit milk out of her nose :p

I feel as if dystopian and utopian representations are historically the most effective way of criticizing modern society. You know, because you don't have to be factually accurate. You can kind of construct some awesome strawman arguments in your fictional world.


This one is for Mr Earl.

Where is DrBob when he's needed for a clean up on aisle five?

After the 35th suicide in the first two months of this year safety nets are being installed under balconies and windows on all Pattaya buildings over 2 stories. A surcharge on foreigners staying at hotels and guesthouses is being charged to pay for this. There will also be a 10,000b charge for rescuing anyone from the nets.

2027: The latest cosmetic surgery must-have among ladyboys is growing a breast on each buttock

For the first time American gun deaths have exceeded the birth rate, this is blamed on the increase of same sex marriages. To reverse this trend President Clinton has urged all Americans to have more children and says the state will provide surrogacy serves for male same sex couples and sperm donor clinics for female same sex couples who are urged to both have pregnancies at the same time to share the joys of motherhood.

Soon I will open a new chain of restaurants called "Re-Thaw" and sell franchises to interested parties claiming all the meals are freshly cooked!

Not a new idea but I need an Irish chef!

Good futuristic Idea or not????????????????????:bananaman:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by birding

More news as it comes to hand.

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No mention of the Chinese, did the Black Plague work well then?

Chinese tourists became extinct after the raw soi dog tongue craze

Fortifications on the depolitasized zone on the borders of England and Scotland and England and Wales which were built when the British Royal Alliance of Ireland Scotland and Wales refused to accept England's Sharia law are in a state of disrepair and will need reinforcing in the near future.

Has the Spratley's scuffle subsided sufficiently to send supplementary sappers shortly to stop the subsidence?