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I have just answered the door to two black gentlemen who asked me if Jesus was in my life.We get very few visitors up here and I was very surprised to see them. They wanted to come in and pray with me but I said I was busy washing my dog. They blessed me and left me some leaflets.
I never had this before the Brexit vote.
Were they Johos?
Did the leaflets include reference to article 50?
If not, be veeeerrryy careful.
If two Buddhists came to your door, what message do you think they'd be preachin'?
Always suspected this Jesus thing was a Nigerian scam.Quote:
Originally Posted by can123
^^ They do, every morning and never say a word, just stand there under their umbrellas peering blankly, until the missus gives them some food to make them go away,...missus is on her knees waiing,....so they then start moaning and stuff in Pali,........then go away.
Jesus is on their side, that's for sure, the amount of black churches that have proliferated in My neighbourhood over the last 3 years is staggering .
The power of Jesus has enabled his followers to fill up on Sunday morning all the school halls, once vacant Protestant churches, with thousands of followers , praising Jesus.
The Black Pastors pray in thanks " Oh Jesus almighty, we thank you for sending the white Christian missionaries to Africa, so Jesus could be in our lives. With this power of Jesus we are going to take over this heathen debauched godless England, praise the Lord" Amen.
Jesus is a winner .
Oh by the way, Jesus is not in My life, but his warriors are surrounding Me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSFFan
Not a promotion of imperialistic ventures, that's for sure....
The tracts reveal that they were, in fact, Jehovah's Witnesses. They were well dressed and very polite but the thing I noticed most was that they were very black and their faces shone like lumps of anthracite . They could see that I was busy with my soapy dog and readily accepted my apologies for not inviting them in.Quote:
Originally Posted by ENT
As the exchanges were pleasant I now fear that they will return at a time when I am not washing a dog. One carried a clipboard and I could see him appear to tick his piece of paper as he walked back our driveway. It is distinctly possible that I have been marked down as being a suitable candidate for conversion. My friend, Terry, is a staunch Roman Catholic and his house is full of statues, so I am going to borrow some of these and place them on the wall opposite my front door in the hope that this will keep them at bay. Alternatively I could convert our bird table into a spirit house and ensure that the missus opens the door.
If there is a God of this world, it is surely the Devil.
Quote:
Originally Posted by can123
Quote:
Originally Posted by can123
Maybe they thought you said wanking the dog
If you can keep a straight face, do just that. Stare blankly at them. Say nothing, Just stare.
They eventually leave, internally quite disturbed, and never come back.
This bloke
found the Lord,loved how it turned out.
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/08/729.jpg https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/08/730.jpg
Or you could just set the dog on them.Quote:
Originally Posted by can123
Respect for snake-oil salesmen is what kept snake-oil salesmen going for centuries.
Check your front wall for markings like thisQuote:
Originally Posted by can123
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/08/737.jpg
:)
Jesus saves but Gomez always gets the rebound.
^ That's an old one, Neal...I heard it as "Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound"...That goes back a few years...When flying Phil won the scoring title, I believe...
He's everywhere, man...Quote:
Originally Posted by can123
And you're right, can...They will be back, just like Arnie...
He is not in my world. I am a fan of Zeus and Odin.
Freemason. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by sabang
I didn't expect Christianity would feature in many (if any) of your lives. (No surprise there).
I was brought up by my Grandparents - who were very staunch Christians. Went to Bible college, Sunday school, etc, etc..
I rebelled in my teens, as I don't like being coerced into doing things without my free-will. A bit like in school where they forced us to learn Maori, although I am part Maori, I resented not having a choice.
I believe if people are given the respect and freedom to choose their religion without pressure or compulsion - then they will be more likely to embrace religion rather than rebel against it.
If God blesses us with a child, I will not try to impose my personal views on him/her.
The more I learn about Science, the universe, the less I can believe in any deity that created everything - as current wisdom heavily suggests everything was created naturally, without any need for intervention by an all powerful supernatural creator.
That being said, recently even Richard Dawkins, writer of the "God Delusion" doesn't discount the possibility of the existence of a God completely. So I remain open minded.... half of me wants to believe in Jesus as I had such a strong Christian upbringing, but my Scientific side tells me it's just a fairy tale.
I honestly believe we should keep an open mind, as dangerous it is to completely believe heart and soul in a God, it's just as dangerous to completely deny the possibility as well... both sides of the extremist coin are as arrogant and silly as each other IMHO.
Oh, if you have any shred of belief in any religion left in your soul, for the love of God, don't read/watch Richard Dawkins.. he will debunk it so articulately and with such calm reasoning, as to destroy any hope whatsoever you might have had in the existence of God.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMqTEfeqvmM
One time I asked a devout religious co worker who told me this.Quote:
Originally Posted by BaitongBoy
How do you know he is everywhere? Maybe like the dot on an old TV screen, he is not everywhere all the time but moves very fast so as to appear to be everywhere.
He never talked to me again about Jesus!
A major point in their favour.Quote:
Originally Posted by Somboon
I called out his name last time I dropped a bottle on my toe
So Jesus is back as a mod here now then ? see he has had my post removed from chapter 1 verse 8 of the lounge area
Manchester United were gonna sign Jesus as a striker, but he was no good on crosses
You nailed that one Pat ^ :)
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/08/746.jpg
Jesus is a bowler.
Of course, you can't discount such things completely.Quote:
Originally Posted by NZdick1983
Just imagine a white and blue china teacup circling a star 200 lightyears from here - you can't discount that completely either. But it's bloody unlikely that it is actually there.
Crazy as it seems but being a disciple isn't a job. :rolleyes:
Quote:
Being a 'Disciple of Jesus Christ' is not a job, high court rules
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/08/755.jpg
A vintage illustration of Jesus Christ, published in Germany, circa 1900 A high court judge has ruled that someone cannot list their occupation as a "Disciple of Jesus Christ".
Irish High Court judge Justice Richard Humphreys made the ruling after a litigant had listed it has his job in a sworn statement.
The litigant appeared in court to challenge a Residential Tenancies Board decision to adjust his rent to a market rate.
But after his sworn statement said that he was a "Disciple of Jesus Christ", his case was described as "frivolous, grandiose and vexatious".
Getty https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2016/08/756.jpg
The Last Supper, by Juan de Juanes circa 1523-1579 His claim was rejected as it was found that he was not complying with the rules of the court, and the Tenancies Board claimed the court challenge was a "tactic to delay and frustrate proceedings".
[QUOTE=Pragmatic;3331668]Crazy as it seems but being a disciple isn't a job. :rolleyes:
The beak is right, a disciple is a student, not a servant, slave, employee or otherwise engaged in a lawful means of employment.Quote:
Being a 'Disciple of Jesus Christ' is not a job, high court rules
The idiot claiming discipleship as employment ought to get a job.
(The smart-arse is probably on the dole.)
Jesus with a Gold medal or wot. Silver.
Jesus clearly had good medical insurance cover. Bringing him back after 3 days is a miracle. Oh hang on.....
But he lost his no-claims bonus though.Quote:
Jesus clearly had good medical insurance cover. Bringing him back after 3 days....
:)
Rumour has it that old Jesus character was light in the loafers....