Strange things are afoot at the local shop
I've been supplementing the diets of the dogs at the local shop for the best part of half a decade now. Their indifferent owners are more than happy for them to live on whatever they might drag out of the jungle; a rat, a snake, an eel, an elderly lady in the midst of a betel nut induced constitutional, an aged gentleman who passed out in a ditch seven months ago, a recalcitrant teenage biker who mistook a tree for a fucking road, and other such various undesirables.
But from the perspective of a real life human being, going about indulging in an evening beverage or two in the company of slowly decaying mutts is not particularly conducive to a clear conscience come the end the ale. There I am, turning into a nasty fat fucker with an acute perspiration complaint, and there's Fido hacking on the blades of grass that his thoughtful master dished up for dinner. Imagine that! Being at the mercy of a degenerate drunk with a penchant for passing out as a means of making culinary ends meet. Fido, me old son, you may as well dash out into the road and play with the traffic until you're in a decided state of being dead - because this fucker who calls himself your owner can't even feed himself, let alone you, my mate.
I therefore took it upon myself to assist the canine community by offering up a selection of light bites and snack treats of an evening. Simple fare such as leftover rice, the occasional tin of sardines and fried chicken pieces were placed on polythene bags and in turn tended to with hoggish ferocity. Within days these hounds began to look more respectable than their owners as fur grew back, midriffs expanded and a warm and sleepy content set in.
Up until last Saturday this was an entirely thankless task...
I bought a couple of chicken pieces for the two dogs present, the others were already asleep in the narrow country lane at the front of the shop, and just as I was about to feed them, a female who goes by the name of I-Wan, stood on her hind legs, placed her front paws above her head and offered me the most lucid Wai that you could possibly muster coming from an animal.
The shopkeeper flew into an ecstatic chorus of delight, the drunken contingent sitting at the provided exterior furniture gasped, the elderly swooned and fell to the floor, small children shrieked with horror, and I, well I am now considered a God.
