Honeymoon Tale

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride,
Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop
to say hello to his friends.

Giovanni said, "Hey, Luigi. How was a da treep?"

Luigi said, "Ever'thing was a perfect except for da train a ride
down."

"What'a you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.

"Well, we boarda da train at Grand Centrala Station. My
beautifula Virginia had packed a biga basket a food with vino and
cigars for a me, and a we were looking a 'forward to da trip. All
was OK until we gotta hungry and opened up a da luncha basket.
The conductor came by, wagged his a finger at us and a say, 'No
eat in dese'a car. Must'a use'a dining car.'

"So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a
big'a lunch and begin to open'a bottle of vino. Conductor come
again, wag his'a finger and say, 'No drink'a in dese'a car.
Must'a use'a club'a car.'

"So we go to club'a car. While'a drinking vino, I start to
light'a my big'a cigar. The conductor, he wag'a his finger again
and say, 'No smoke'a in dese'a car. Must'a go to smoker car.'

"We go to smoker car and I smoke'a my cigar. Later, my beautiful
Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car and'a go to bed. We just
about to have'a sex and the conductor, he come'a through car
yelling, 'NO-FOLK'A, VIRGINIA!'

"Next'a time, I'm a driva down!!"