Multi Tasking Thais

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10-04-2009, 09:25 PM
Missismiggins

Multi Tasking Thais

Multi Tasking in LaLa Land!
Have you ever ever, found a Thai that can do one thing while trying to do something else? Not Me!
We had two good examples of the lack of brain co ordination the past two days.

First - the wife is in the kitchen cooking up some breakfast, the small boy spots this fucking snake slithering it's way to the kitchen door..and, as would be a logical thing to do cries "Mae MAe Gnu Gnu" what does the mother do..fuck all, not even an acknowledgement, so I have to run downstairs and chase the bugger out...and the small boy asks...is Mummy Stupid or what?

No comment.

Then, this morning, guess who is cooking in the kirtchen (I think she likes food) when I lean out of the bedroom window having a quick smoke (banned in the bedroom) and lo and behold.. there is this fucking centipede, must be all of a foot long, heading towards the kitchen... So I shouts out "Quick...quick Jakep..."

Again, no response, she just carries on cooking...so the boy joins in...MAE MAE JAKEP!...nothing, by this time the fucker is not two yards from where she is cooking, I grab a pair of jeans, run downstairs, grab the kowbok (which I have reapired..quite well too!) remove the two watering cans from the handle, and the empty Chang bottles from the watering cans and chop the Jakep into mincemeat..all before my multi tasking wife can get to the door!

Fuck, I'd hate to rely on a Thai in an emergency..do they know the meaning of the word "QUICK"?

And lastly, I saw a couple of posts replying in a strangely sick sort of way to one of my earlier posts... 'twas by that "person" Ant Robertson.

I seem to know his name from somewhere, and he continually posts with really offensive avatars..like he was once a singer or in a band, but sadly didn't make it!

It seemed to thrill him that it took me 5 or 10 minutes to load a page on the net..what a laugh he must have of an evening.

Tell me Ant, are you some kind of throwback from the likes of Boy George? Dexies Midnight Runners? you seem to fit in there somewhere!

And, as I read somewhere, they say "WE ARE WHAT WE EAT" then I ask you, does Ant feast primarily on ARSEHOLES or PRICKS? Either way, he must eat a lot of them,!
10-04-2009, 09:29 PM
NickA

Centipede is ตะขาบ or Takab, isn't it?
10-04-2009, 09:29 PM
chitown

Are you Smeg's sock puppet? :)
10-04-2009, 09:35 PM
Missismiggins

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickA

Centipede is ตะขาบ or Takab, isn't it?

Takkab I think is the Central Thai word, in Chiang Mai its Jakep or Jakeb...it's not clear...tell me truly.. were you with Dexies or Simply Red? and why do you have such irritating avatars of some fawning fucking twat from the 80s...are these real people...I'd love to shoot them! They irritate, worse than fucking red ants...look for a sweet photo..like mine!
10-04-2009, 09:36 PM
Texpat

My wife likely woulda spun around with a knife in one hand and the skillet in the other and chopped the offending critter into the mix.

I would say, "sorted" here, but I'm not completely lame. :)
10-04-2009, 09:36 PM
NickA

^Uncultured oaf
10-04-2009, 09:52 PM
DrB0b

Quote:

Originally Posted by Missismiggins

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickA

Centipede is ตะขาบ or Takab, isn't it?

Takkab I think is the Central Thai word, in Chiang Mai its Jakep or Jakeb

Correct. In Kham Muang it's Jakhep, with a gobbing type gargle on the kh. :)
10-04-2009, 09:52 PM
Missismiggins

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texpat

My wife likely woulda spun around with a knife in one hand and the skillet in the other and chopped the offending critter into the mix.

I would say, "sorted" here, but I'm not completely lame. :)

I think I found out the Thai Logic..thewy won't KILL ANYTHING!

See it's bad karma for them to kill anything, so they let the stupid Farang come and kill it for them...the missus is pissing herself lauging about this tonight, she thinks it's hilarious that the Farang "killed them" rather than the THAI..sadly, look out of the window and WHO is kiling Thailand...not me!

I printed out a poster from Batman and stuck it on the back window of the car tonight...after erasing "WE LOVE THE KING"..now I 've got "WHY SO SERIOUS" probably get me a bullet or two!!! FUCK EM!
Not even an ant (or an Ant Robertson) fuckers get me every time...no worries, cats, dogs, ants, Thais..can kill them...was asking the wife tonight about Thai ettiquette, wether it was correct to say "BER NUNG FREE, BER SONG CHEEWIT" or should one use "BER NUNG FREE BER SONG SEAR CHEEWIT".. she said either would do!
10-04-2009, 09:59 PM
Texpat

Funny about the bumper stickers.
Nearly half of all p/u trucks in Nong Khai have one of these hilarious stickers on it.

https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2009/04/316.jpg

I'm looking for a sticker where the poor damsel in distress is carrying a tough, valiant Thai man (much more appropriate). Then I'll join the crowd.
10-04-2009, 10:02 PM
Missismiggins

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texpat

My wife likely woulda spun around with a knife in one hand and the skillet in the other and chopped the offending critter into the mix.

I would say, "sorted" here, but I'm not completely lame. :)

I think I found out the Thai Logic..thewy won't KILL ANYTHING!

See it's bad karma for them to kill anything, so they let the stupid Farang come and kill it for them...the missus is pissing herself lauging about this tonight, she thinks it's hilarious that the Farang "killed them" rather than the THAI..sadly, look out of the window and WHO is kiling Thailand...not me!

I printed out a poster from Batman and stuck it on the back window of the car tonight...after erasing "WE LOVE THE KING"..now I 've got "WHY SO SERIOUS" probably get me a bullet or two!!! FUCK EM!
10-04-2009, 10:59 PM
Happyman

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texpat

Funny about the bumper stickers.
Nearly half of all p/u trucks in Nong Khai have one of these hilarious stickers on it.

https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2009/04/316.jpg

I'm looking for a sticker where the poor damsel in distress is carrying a tough, valiant Thai man (much more appropriate). Then I'll join the crowd.

Have seen a lot around Phuket !
What do they mean ?
Are the trucks on standby or available for 'Rescue" work ?
If so - can they only save ladies ?

Anybody know??
My guess is that it is to imply to the BIB that they are associated to an approved charitable organisation or the local Or Bor Tor and therefore kkow "someone" higher up the ladder :rolleyes:
11-04-2009, 08:59 AM
Marmite the Dog

So Miggins has married a retard.

Next...
11-04-2009, 09:45 AM
mediamanbkk

Maybe Missismiggin's missus is slightly deaf?
11-04-2009, 10:14 AM
rotator

Maybe she has lost the will to live
11-04-2009, 11:15 AM
Missismiggins

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

So Miggins has married a retard.

Next...

You got me there matey, I certainly flounced if I married her for her abundant wit and gay repartie!

They just fuck me off at times when you shout something like "QUICK" it by passes them, they do not react!

"Look out! theres a piano about to land on your head....CRUNCH"... oops....too late!
11-04-2009, 11:21 AM
Missismiggins

Quote:

Originally Posted by mediamanbkk

Maybe Missismiggin's missus is slightly deaf?

You forgot "Shortsighted" "Stupid" "Slow" and "Getting Fat" and "Past the sell buy date"

When I ask / or expect a quick response...like in an emergency or something...you can almost hear the cogs starting to mesh together in her head...it's like a kind of very slow gear change...."Watch out for that.......................................BUS.... too late.. dammit!"

I can almost see her with her hand in a blazing fire, thinking about it, and what to do next!!!

In fact the whole family are pretty much going down the slippery Alzheimers slope, or are congenitally retarded. She once told me her mother had a head like "A computer" ...yeah right...maybe a broken Commodore 64K, none of the family have spent more than about 2 hours in school, and that was probably during the lunch break.

Not their fault! I know, you have to pay for education (if thats what rote learning is) and they never had money.

But common sense is FREE, you don't buy it...it's given out absolutely free! Why is it, I get it, my 8 year old gets it, but it sails high over the heads of the rest of them?

But I am not a shy man, I can walk tall, holding my head held high, in this land of midgets! (and mental midgets too!)
11-04-2009, 01:05 PM
mediamanbkk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Missismiggins

In fact the whole family are pretty much going down the slippery Alzheimers slope, or are congenitally retarded. She once told me her mother had a head like "A computer" ...yeah right...maybe a broken Commodore 64K, none of the family have spent more than about 2 hours in school, and that was probably during the lunch break.

I confess to pissing my pants when I read that para!