Bld,s Impeccable Kitchen table & Dining manners

A fond memory of my dear old ma when I was growing up was she insisted on proper ettiquette at the dining table. And if I was caught shovelling food down my gob with the fork and knife being incorrectly held a sharp blow to my knuckles with her soup spoon would swiftly be applied much to the amusement of my siblings. I quickly learned the correct way but fuck it done little for my Profanity.
Good one mum. To this day my Table manners are still talked about in the mess halls of minesites worldwide. From the balmy jungles of se Asia to the deserts of Sudan.
Manners make the man said my old mum.
My kids seem to have picked up the bad habit of just shovelling it in any which way which I'm not to happy about. The fookers run rings around me with a set of chopsticks though.

Oh and elbows on the Table got me a deduction in pocket money

Basicly the rules state when Dining with others its not polite to put one's elbow on the table.The reasons given for this was perhaps in less enlightened times it was thought to prevent aggression and violence at the dinner table.

You may have inherited table manners from your mum but obviously did not inherit the ability to teach them further down the family tree...

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Originally Posted by Molle

You may have inherited table manners from your mum but obviously did not inherit the ability to teach them further down the family tree...

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The beatings will continue until they learn. But tbf in this modern world we rarely sit down for dinner at the table together and it is very much an East West household. Mum was scottish and old fashioned . Probably a bit like yourself.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sour...PtJnfdGx0AJA9y Wikipedia eating utensil ettequitte

After a meal my dad would always amuse us kids and horrify my mum by releasing a long loud throaty gurgling belch, followed by a guilty look and a wry smile. This is a tradition i have been happy to perpetuate, both at home and in restaurants, believing it to be both a natural bodily function and a sign of thanks to the cook and also an indication of satisfaction with the meal. I of course draw the line at passing flatus at the table or in public, at least audibly.

I do temper my behaviour somewhat when out with mrs t.

And to this day I find the sound of a full throated long and thoughtfully delivered belch amusing and also nostalgic for those family meals with my parents and siblings.


http://youtu.be/mGfSRDd5n5A?si=hSC0JMkaGfC_ij6s

It's funny the things you remember from childhood. Back then we ALWAYS ate at the table. The folks may have occasionally let us eat in the lounge room with plates on our laps but only if there was something they wanted to watch on the Telly. Ma & pa were a big fan of Dave Allen at large. On those nights e nights I could get away with the spoon rap on the knuckles. Thank you Dave allen

My mum was also one of those "elbows off, chew with your mouth closed, lay your knife and fork on the plate when you have finished" types, but my dad was just the opposite, snarf your food down and belch loudly. But my mum was always won over by the laughter.

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Originally Posted by taxexile

After a meal my dad would always amuse us kids and horrify my mum by releasing a long loud throaty gurgling belch, followed by a guilty look and a wry smile. This is a tradition i have been happy to perpetuate, both at home and in restaurants

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Do you follow up by going into the bathroom and pissing all over the toilet seat as well?

:rofl:

Only in restaurants when the service is bad.

I noticed the old man knew mum had a bee in her bonnet about my continuing lack of table decorum but dad couldn't help but chuckle along with my bro and sis. The rap on the knuckle was about the most violent thing to ever occur to me from.the folks. It was a pleasant way to grow up. Kids these days would probably want to sue for emotional damage :)

Anyhoo.and look at me now. Who said you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear?

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Kids these days would probably want to sue for emotional damage

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Indeed.

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Originally Posted by BLD

From the balmy jungles of se Asia to the deserts of Sudan

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...and the gardens of Japan, From Milan to Yucatán, Every womans, every man...

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Originally Posted by BLD

a sharp blow to my knuckles with her soup spoon would swiftly be applied

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WGVgfjnLqc

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Originally Posted by BLD

A fond memory of my dear old ma when I was growing up was she insisted on proper ettiquette at the dining table. And if I was caught shovelling food down my gob with the fork and knife being incorrectly held a sharp blow to my knuckles with her soup spoon would swiftly be applied much to the amusement of my siblings. I quickly learned the correct way but fuck it done little for my Profanity.
Good one mum. To this day my Table manners are still talked about in the mess halls of minesites worldwide. From the balmy jungles of se Asia to the deserts of Sudan.
Manners make the man said my old mum.
My kids seem to have picked up the bad habit of just shovelling it in any which way which I'm not to happy about. The fookers run rings around me with a set of chopsticks though.

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My parents were quite strong on table etiquette and how the table was laid, complete with linen table cloth. Everything was laid out right handed and me being left handed became so confused I ended up eating right handed, apart from the spoon which I am still unable to use right handed and yes definitely no elbows on the table and no crossed knives and forks when finished. Oh, and eating with ones mouth open a definite no no.

Ha ha love it

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Originally Posted by taxexile

After a meal my dad would always amuse us kids and horrify my mum by releasing a long loud throaty gurgling belch, followed by a guilty look and a wry smile. This is a tradition i have been happy to perpetuate, both at home and in restaurants, believing it to be both a natural bodily function and a sign of thanks to the cook and also an indication of satisfaction with the meal. I of course draw the line at passing flatus at the table or in public, at least audibly.

I do temper my behaviour somewhat when out with mrs t.

And to this day I find the sound of a full throated long and thoughtfully delivered belch amusing and also nostalgic for those family meals with my parents and siblings.ij6s[/video]

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Right up there with piss stains on yer toilet. You sneer about the lumpen, lower class but your slip’s showing darlin.

One that I learned from my first Thai GF was that is was impolite to wash my mouth out after brushing my teeth with the bum gun....who knew?

Talking whilst chewing is a big no no.
Eating loudly should be forbidden.
Making noise with one's cutlery and plate is uncouth.
Anyone with the above etiquette criteria avoid a Thai chimps dinner party.

^Hammered again.

:rolleyes: