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Women subjected to 'racist and demeaning' Asian fetishes on dating apps speak out
"I love Asian girl[s], most of them are naughty and I like that," read a message that popped up on Sharon Jiang's phone.
The message to the 24-year-old Chinese Australian, who lives in Sydney, came from a stranger claiming to be on holiday from France.
It wasn't the first Asian fetish message Ms Jiang, co-host of culture podcast Crazy Biatch Asians, had received online.
Most of them came via dating apps, where men she connected with would be quick to tell her they sexually preferred Asian women.
One message that particularly made her skin crawl said: "I've never tried Asian girls before."
It was followed by a request for Ms Jiang to consider being his "first Asian experience".
Initially, Ms Jiang was flattered when she received messages complimenting her about her Asian appearance.
"I think in a dating context, everyone wants to feel validated and desirable," Ms Jiang told the ABC.
"You're on those apps to find some sort of romantic connection.
"[But] those Asian fetish messages aren't actually positive. They are racist and demeaning."
What is an Asian fetish?
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An Asian fetish is the sexualised objectification of the appearance of Asian women, according to Michelle Aung Thin, a senior lecturer in communication at Melbourne's RMIT University.
The fascination relates to power and the stereotype of Asian women being subservient.
It derives from Oriental stereotypes in historical and popular culture, Dr Aung Thin said, such as Western depictions of Japanese geishas, Asian entertainers during World War II and the Vietnam and Korean wars, and stage shows like Miss Saigon or Madame Butterfly.
Ms Jiang's experience is common for many Asian women.
Vanessa Lee, a 27-year-old Malaysian woman working in banking in Melbourne, has been on several dating apps on and off for about three years and said it was not unusual for her to meet men with an Asian fetish.
Ms Lee said she once received a message written in Chinese saying: "I want to f*** you."
She was further irked by the fact the sender assumed she was Chinese.
She told the ABC there were many profiles of men that specifically highlighted their preference for Asian women, and it made her feel uncomfortable.
One self-written profile of a Caucasian man she came across said: "I've got a thing for cute sexy Asian girls."
It also had written in Chinese characters: "I like Chinese women."
"A lot of people don't really seem to understand why it's not OK to say certain things," Ms Lee said.
"Even when I'm telling my friends about this, my non-Asian friends find it hard to understand. They think it's just a compliment and these men are just interested in my Asian culture."
Tinder Screenshot
Vanessa Lee once saw a Tinder profile that said: "I like Chinese women".(
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Isabella Xu, a 28-year-old teacher in Melbourne, told the ABC one of her matches on dating app Tinder said he appreciated the "cute" appearance often associated with Asian women.
She considered that comment a "red flag".
"These words made me feel that they are not actually interested in me as a person, but they are only interested in my race and my appearance," Ms Xu said.
"It feels like you lose your own identity."
Ms Xu was a former international student from China.
She said female Asian international students might not realise the sexual trivialisation of Asian women when they encountered it, compared to Asian women who grew up in a Western society.
"I feel that for those with Asian fetish, what they care [about] is that you are an Asian, and they might not cherish the time and emotion you put in a relationship with them," Ms Xu said.
A spokesperson from Match Group, which owns dating websites and apps Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish and Hinge, said all content that promoted racism or violence was banned on their platforms.
"All of our brands have in-app reporting tools that make it easy to report offensive messages," a spokesperson said.
"We encourage all users to report any unacceptable behaviour so that our team can investigate and take appropriate action."
In a statement to the ABC, dating app Bumble said there was a "zero-tolerance policy for hate, aggression or bullying of any kind".
"We take our Block & Report function very seriously — we do not tolerate racist behaviour and encourage any member of our community who experiences racism … to use this feature," a representative said.
"In addition, we are deeply invested in AI and machine learning tools to flag words around all forms of racism and toxic behaviour."
Harmful attitudes emerge from Western stereotypes
A woman in a Japanese traditional outfit and a caucasian man in a suit in a play.
Oriental stereotypes are often depicted in Western culture such as in the opera Madame Butterfly.(
Wikimedia Commons: Madame Butterfly47)
Conversations about Asian fetishes and its ties to racism were back in the spotlight after six Asian women were among eight people shot dead at an Atlanta spa in the US last month.
The Asian American community was outraged by US officials who initially said the attack was related to the shooter's "sexual addiction", rather than a hate crime.
Shawna Tang, a lecturer in gender studies at the University of Sydney, said the Atlanta spa shooting was evidence of Asian women being the subjects of sexism and racism, which could be traced back to colonialism in Asia.
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"It is a long history of Western imperialism and militarism in Asian countries that forced Asian women into sexual slavery," Dr Tang said.
"And then very unfairly over time, there were these stereotypes of brothel girls, sexual subjects or prostitutes [being Asian women]. It became very embedded in Western culture."
Sophie Loy-Wilson, a senior lecturer in Australian history at the University of Sydney, said racism against Asian women in Australia went back a long way.
In 1855, the Colony of Victoria legislated to block Asian immigration – the first law in the world against Asian migrants – years before the White Australia policy started.
Meanwhile, the majority of Asian migrants to Australia were men, and Asian women usually only came following their husbands or as servants to Asian men.
A black and white historical photo of five Chinese women, who may have been prostitutes.
Evidence of Asian women being the subject of sexism and racism can be traced back to colonialism in Asia.(
Flicker: Okinawa Soba (Rob))
After arriving in Australia, many Asian women were given lowly paid work, faced living difficulties and sometimes struggled with English.
"The mainstream portrayal would be Asian women as slaves, as without any willpower," Dr Loy-Wilson said.
"Asian women were either slaves to Asian men, or they were slaves more generally."
Dr Loy-Wilson said while racism against Asian women in the 19th and 20th centuries was well documented in the US, there were few records about racism against Asian women in Australia.
a headshot of Dr Sophie Loy-Wilson in red shirt
Dr Sophie Loy-Wilson said historically many Asian women were given lowly paid work when arriving in Australia.(
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She said because the size of the Asian community in Australia was smaller than in the US, Asian women were more vulnerable and it was easier for them to be targeted.
"I think we have a problem in this country," Dr Loy-Wilson said.
"We need to recognise that for many Asian women, they don't feel safe."
Chinese Australian writer Jessie Tu explores the story of an interracial relationship between a young Asian woman and her much older Caucasian lover in her novel A Lonely Girl is A Dangerous Thing — longlisted for this year's major literary award, the Stella Prize.
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She quotes American journalist and writer Wesley Morris, who argues that compared to a fetish, romance "cares about what the subject wants".
"If you fetishise someone, you are projecting your idea of what you think the other person should be, whereas a healthy relationship is where you actually listen to what the other person thinks and says," Ms Tu said.
Ms Xu said she could tell whether an interracial relationship was a healthy one or a case of an Asian fetish by seeing how a partner learned about Asian culture.
"For me, being Asian is an important identity," she said.
"If I had a partner of a different race, I would hope he learned about my culture with the motivation of learning about me as an individual.
"If he dated me merely because he's interested in my Asianness, then he [has] an Asian fetish."
In Sharon Jiang's opinion, it is often difficult to determine if compliments Asian women receive are fetishised, and it can take time to notice the signs.
"If someone is stereotyping Asian girls and making comments that are racist, even if it does seem like a compliment, then there's a problem," she said.
But Ms Jiang also stressed that attention from a person of a different race "isn't necessarily a bad thing".
"[Interracial] dating can be wonderful if it's done respectfully," she said.
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