You know you are drunk when......
A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend came up to him and said, "George, I've been watching you all night, and I have to ask...what's in your shirt pocket?" "It's a picture of my wife." "Why do you keep looking at it?"
"Because," George replied, "When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home."
