Wayne Kerr’s Masinloc Jaunt - Philippines

Last week I found myself in a small coastal town on the west coast of the Philippines. Unfortunately it was middle of the typhoon season and I got rained into a friend's property up in the hills.

Our beer supplies ran out quite fast as you'd expect and due to some "security" problems we had to call in protection - complete with some lovely M-16 machine guns. You gotta love working in the "wild east".

Anyway, since it was pissing down with rain 24-7 I don’t have many sexy pics or videos. The main reason I’m posting is to test out something I’ve been friggin around on with Google Earth"s ".kmz" files. If it works I’ll be a very happy chappy indeed, and if not, well I guess I'll back to the drawing board.

The idea is if you have Google Earth installed you should be able to click on the blue icon below and it’ll launch Google Earth and "fly" you into where I was. There is a placemark there and if you click on that it opens up a nice little page for TD. If you don’t have Google Earth, click on the green icon below, then follow the step above.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...oogleearth.jpg
^ Click this icon to "fly" into where I was in the Philippines

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...h-download.gif
^ Click here to download Google Earth

A few pics and videos to follow once I drink a few more beers ;).

It works - a greenie winging its way to you :)

There are many great spots in the Philippines. One of my favourites is in my thread on Busuanga Island. Forreachingme also did an awesome Philippines thread recently - Philippino Cordillera up hill 07.

It is typhoon season there now but this year they aint had one yet. Most of Manila runs on hydro power and the dams running it all are just about dry, so are drinking water supplies for Manila. The President will likely call a State of Emergency if they don’t get a good typhoon before the end of the month – and the experts reckon they need 3 typhoons to hit in order to pull Manila of the shite before Christmas.

Anyway, last week we got rained on by Tropical storm Wutip, it really bucketed down but was nothing compared to a good typhoon. Since they’re all mad “Jesus Jumpers” there was lots of praying going on for the storm to turn into a typhoon, but just like their Thai neighbours they couldn’t stop complaining as soon as it started raining and Manila got a little wet.

I was glad to be going up country and popped a few high powered sleeping pills as soon I got out of Manila airport. I was hoping to get a good sleep and miss all the shit between Manila and my destination, but of course my lovely hosts couldn’t wait to wake me up as soon as they could in order to try and pump as much of their fast food shit they call food into me as fast as they could. Rather than tell them to go and get f’ed I looked around for something amusing to take a picture of … it didn’t take long.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-01.jpg
^ The Flippers love these shit restaurants ... little wonder the women are all so fat. I just about pissed my pants when I saw the "Watch your head" sign ... the clearance stated on the sign was 2.7 metres. I work alot with these feckers and I am sure their average IQ is at least 25% lower than your average Thai :(.

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Originally Posted by Propagator

It works - a greenie winging its way to you

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Thanks mate

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The Flippers love these shit restaurants ... little wonder the women are all so fat. I just about pissed my pants when I saw the "Watch your head" sign ... the clearance stated on the sign was 2.7 metres. I work alot with these feckers and I am sure their average IQ is at least 25% lower than your average Thai https://teakdoor.com/../images/smilies/icon_sad.gif.

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actually in their defence i think it is a warning to all the numpties standing on the backs of trucks etc going thru the drive thru!

Looks no way near where Scampy lives :)

Nice job Wayne. I can get FireFox to pass the KMZ file to GE, but Safari stubbornly refuses.

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Originally Posted by buad hai

I can get FireFox to pass the KMZ file to GE, but Safari stubbornly refuses.

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... umm, cross browser compatibility, thanks for letting me know mate :).

How the hell do you figure all this stuff out Wayne? Excellant way to make a thread more entertaining,Cheers.:aus:

Sorry to side track this thread already, but I'm just back in from getting well pissed with my mother in law. We'd promised to do whatever she wanted today, and she let us know last night that she just wanted to stay at her place and eat some good food and drink lots of beer chang ... hopefully Mrs. Kerr is as cool as her in 35 years.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...s-Day-2007.jpg
^ Afternoon tea with "Yai" Kerr

After the sun went down these mad guys started some show at the end of the soi ... scared the absolute clappers out of Wayne Jnr they did ... I don't blame him as they looked like right freaks.

And then this really mad looking prick came on and Wayne Jnr did an about face and ran back home. I guess the "farang" genes must be doing some good :). Overall a very pleasant Mothers Day was had by all.

I like the pics and vids Wayne thanks for that. :)

All the clever IT type stuff is lost on me though! :confused:

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Originally Posted by jizzybloke

I like the pics and vids Wayne thanks for that. All the clever IT type stuff is lost on me though!

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Thanks Jiz, is it okay for me to call you that? As for the techno stuff, just try to learn something new each week and everything will work out fine in the end :).

Imagine a TR by Jizz.

Anyway, back to the road …

I made the trip to suss some shellfish that have just popped up on the upper west coast of the Philippines. They’ve only ever been found in the border area of China and Vietnam, and are sold for an absolute fortune in southern China.

One of my old retired trading buddies found the suckers and flew me in to help work out how to get them into China as quickly as possible. This is what they look like and I can assure you they are the absolute delicious.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-02.jpg
^ I’m talking about the ones on the top of the plate. Avoid the big ones on the bottom of the page unless you have good teeth … they are as chewy as hell.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-03.jpg
^ They don’t look like much when you open them up, but with a cold San Mig and the knowledge that they go for $120 per kg in southern China I wasn’t complaining.

It really pissed down with rain on the way up there, but fortunately it cleared up for about 30 minutes on my first morning there. My mate’s joint is friggin awesome, set up in the hills a few kms from some of the best coral reefs in the Philippines, and he has some of the biggest bloody mango trees I’ve seen in my life.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-04.jpg
^ The main place set in under his big mango trees … they reckon the trees are about 180 yrs old

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-05.jpg
^ I was put up in the guest house … this was an awesome escape from the noise and pollution in Bangkok

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-06.jpg
^ His mango trees were simply amazing and I'm guessing there aint that many as big as this left in Thailand … some lovely orchids growing all over them that I was very tempted to knock off for my BKK carport :)

That place looks stunning :) you lucky boy!

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Originally Posted by jizzybloke

That place looks stunning you lucky boy!

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Mate it was magnificent for about 30 minutes in 5 days, rest of the time it was like what you see in the video below. It rained like this non-stop day and night ... nothing much else to do than drink beer :).

Anyway the Philippines can be a bloody dangerous place, and my mate being pretty well off and is always getting threats of kidnapping against him and his staff. So he has to carry "protection" at all times. His security had received word that some of his enemies had "mentioned something" about a 'farang' being in town, so I was glad to have this between us and the bad guys when we went out to buy more beer :).

https://teakdoor.com/../Gallery/album...asinloc-08.jpg
^ I had to ask the shooter if the Kleenex on the dash were to clean up any blood that may get spilt :).

https://teakdoor.com/../Gallery/album...asinloc-09.jpg
^ This was my personal guard ... the bloody gun was nearly as big as him. Tried unsuccessfully to con him into letting me have a go but he said it might concern the locals to hear machine gun fire ... guess he had a point :).

Overall I guess travelling to the Philippines during typhoon season wasn't that smart. In fact I was very glad to get out of the place before it really started raining. Since we were anticipating an 8hr drive back to Manila due to floods etc I popped a few xanax to knock me out for the trip ... in the end it only took 4 hrs but the drugs had me wondering around Manila airport like a zombie for a good six hours.

Not sure if anyone has been hit up by the "tits and teeth" girls inside the airport that offer access to a lounge with all you can eat and drink for $10. I always thought these joints were some sort of scam, but since I had plenty of time on my hands I reckoned I could easily drink 10 US dollars worth of beer and decided to take them up on the offer. It ended up being really good, with good western and Japanese food, a fridge full of icy cold San Migs, and a cabinet well stocked with good grog. I ended up stumbling out the place after about 4 hours worth of San Mig and chatting to the pretty girls in there :).

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-11.jpg
^ Enjoying an all you can eat food and grog session for $10 in one of the lounges in Manila airport. The newspaper was the usual doom and gloom stuff you get there ... Pinoys rescued from human traffickers, soldiers being blown up, and a friggin disgusting photo of Manila Bay full of trash and raw sewage from run off caused by the storm :(.

Anyway not much more to show, but was surprised to see the runways at Suvarnaphumi airport covered with work crews trying to fix the easily noticeable cracks we've all heard so much about. I got a pic but it don't show it so well.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-12.jpg
^ Work crews fixing up the runways at Suvarnaphumi Airport :)

Oh yeah, I guess a trip to flipper land aint worth it if you don't come back with a suitcase full of Tanduay Rum ... one of the best things to come out of the Philippines IMO. This bottle set me back 56 pesos, or just a bit more than 1 US dollar and went down very nicely this afternoon :) ... hence my drunken ramblings in here. Cheers.

https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...asinloc-10.jpg
^ Over and out from a nicely drunk Wayne Kerr :).

Nice story wayne ! - I'm sure your mate John the mango Farmer from up north would be drooling at those mango trees !!.
Those shellfish look mighty tasty ! - though how do they compare to the Dingo donger sipunculid worms ??
Looked like a great place to stay; though I assume the necessity of someone wielding a hand cannon would make the nights a little less relaxing !!

Looking foreward to catching up soon and hope there's some Tanduay Rum left over for my visit !! :)

Tanduay rum is excellent. Why didn't you get the Tanduay Anejo? Just a bit more and it's aged. Very mellow.

Yeh, I wish Thailand had Tanduay instead of Mekhong.

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Originally Posted by Jock Itch

Nice story wayne ! - I'm sure your mate John the mango Farmer from up north would be drooling at those mango trees !!.
Those shellfish look mighty tasty ! - though how do they compare to the Dingo donger sipunculid worms ??
Looked like a great place to stay; though I assume the necessity of someone wielding a hand cannon would make the nights a little less relaxing !!

Looking foreward to catching up soon and hope there's some Tanduay Rum left over for my visit !! :)

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Yes, Jock, I like the Mango trees. Nice to sit under those big buggers, but not very productive generally. If they are, you need long poles to harvest the pea sized fruit.

Hope to catch you in LOS.

Regards
JLP

Hi wayne great thread and pictures what is that octaganol thing on the ground in the rain film