How many friends should one have???

& what the fuk does friend mean anyways...

I ask because, I'm worried.

In my teenage and later years to early, mid and late twenties, perhaps even my early thirties, I had a massive group of friends; virtually anywhere I went; pubs, clubs, shopping centres, football clubs, rugby clubs, hospitals (:)), restaurants, hotel bars, wine bars, airports... I knew, seemingly, everyone, or at least, virtually everyone knew me, knew somebody who knew me, or had heard of my name and existence... I was in London, not bloody Sisiket, I never claimed to be anybody of note, but I knew people and was known by people. My close personal group of friends must've been 40+ people, with a few hundred more folks who you'd stop and have a drink with if you saw them - it'd be rude not to...

Nowadays, I have very few friends, if any. :( I rarely drink vodka neat... Mr Slaps, FP, Jizzy, Marmite, Stoker, Dill; they'd probably all ignore me if they saw me out in public... I only vaguely remember and keep in contact with friends of old, we have little in common. I rarely go on drug filled bersek evenings of the sort that seemingly got me well known and added to me extended friend group... :) I'm quite boring and normal. In 10+ years of living in Thailand, I only have perhaps 10 friends, all female, all upper middle class to hiso (no out of choice, they just seem the most interesting and decent folk). What the fuk has happened??? I used to go out in London 5 nights a week to clubs and know everyone of note...

:(

:(

:(

Are you sad bastards as sad as me?

Acquaintance. They are the friends of your younger days that you hang around with.The few that remain and keep in touch with are Friends.

Sorry, I haven't got time to respond. I'm just about to watch the Dexter season 7 finale alone in my room.

Mmmm, yes and no.

I had folks I knew and shared friendships from the age of 4 to the age of 34 beforeI left the UK. I don't think that they are/were limited friendships to be ignored. This group, as I stated before was massive. GFs and others I met, regularly told me that they'd never met a person with so many friends. I truly had a massive group of friends. Bu, in our late teens onwards we were standard London twats, drinking, getting wrecked, etc. We would and did do anything for each other. We all wanted to die young. We lived life beyond most... I now have very few, if any friends... :(

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Originally Posted by Bettyboo

& what the fuk does friend mean anyways...

I ask because, I'm worried.

In my teenage and later years to early, mid and late twenties, perhaps even my early thirties, I had a massive group of friends; virtually anywhere I went; pubs, clubs, shopping centres, football clubs, rugby clubs, hospitals (:)), restaurants, hotel bars, wine bars, airports... I knew, seemingly, everyone, or at least, virtually everyone knew me, knew somebody who knew me, or had heard of my name and existence... I was in London, not bloody Sisiket, I never claimed to be anybody of note, but I knew people and was known by people. My close personal group of friends must've been 40+ people, with a few hundred more folks who you'd stop and have a drink with if you saw them - it'd be rude not to...

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It was the same for me.

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Nowadays, I have very few friends, if any. :( I rarely drink vodka neat... Mr Slaps, FP, Jizzy, Marmite, Stoker, Dill; they'd probably all ignore me if they saw me out in public... I only vaguely remember and keep in contact with friends of old, we have little in common. I rarely go on drug filled bersek evenings of the sort that seemingly got me well known and added to me extended friend group... :) I'm quite boring and normal. In 10+ years of living in Thailand, I only have perhaps 10 friends, all female, all upper middle class to hiso (no out of choice, they just seem the most interesting and decent folk). What the fuk has happened??? I used to go out in London 5 nights a week to clubs and know everyone of note...

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This is now true for me.


It is normal for many (whether single or married).

When I was in my 20s and early-mid 30s I had a lot of friends / buddies / acquaintances in my life.

Now, I meet new people less and see ol' pals less. The interest is not there.

Nothing negative about it.

Honestly, I don't look forward to meeting ol pals much, and I cannot stand being invited to a couple's house for dinner.

I'd prefer to meet in the pub for a cold one.

And expat life (which I likely will return to) was more fun than home-country, which is socially dull.

^Bab,

So, what's the answer? Any answer?

You know, I think that my friends and me resent each other because we all know we wasted the best years of our lives. I had it all too easy, and I pissed it away... Then I went and had a look at the world, I've seen plenty, I've had plenty, it's a fukin laugh... Too stupid for words. When I go back home, I don't wanna see those folks and they don't wanna see me because we got wrecked together and we are still getting wrecked, but them in the same way and me globally with an MA and PhD... It's fukin shite, mate. This vodka is nice though.

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Originally Posted by somtamslap

Sorry, I haven't got time to respond. I'm just about to watch the Dexter season 7 finale alone in my room.

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Here is an example of the confusion.

Mr Slaps, a bloody Sarff Londoner, but one of the very best TD members. I consider him a kinda kindred spirit, but I've never met him; I'd love to buy him a beer or 10... He has gone back hone and... exactly my thoughts. What happened???

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Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Mr Slaps, a bloody Sarff Londoner

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More of a bourgeois suburbanite I'll have you know, Betsy. Reduced to the humiliation of alighting at East Croydon station every fucking morning.

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Originally Posted by Bettyboo

I'd love to buy him a beer or 10

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Betsy. My newest BFF..:)

they've all moved on,
got married and probably into soaps or heroin or jeremy kyle
if you're out and about
someone is looking
just for, you.
need that vibe.
enjoying someones company is fokin great
got to expect to lose if you're always on the move as you are.
that's a fair sacrifice.
unless you wanna eat your cake as well.
strewth.

Yes, BTG, it's unclear. Interesting thoughts there...

When I was younger, my friends and I would drop around to each others' houses unannounced, and play music....especially if we wanted to introduce a new album each other. These days I still love music but my situation is similar ...a few close friends who I either sometimes or rarely see, and a slightly wider group of acquaintances who I encounter in public.

It's a bit sad but happens to most of us. Other things intrude : building a family, work (and often overwork in order to make ends meet), other recreational interests and so on...

Find the friends you really clicked with and put a bit of effort into seeing them and keeping the friendship alive. Often people drift apart because their lives become more busy. Then they're embarrassed to contact you (or you, them) simply because so much time has elapsed.

Met a couple of guys on Thai forums (ajarn, TD) who became close friends

The older you get, the more important quality becomes and the less so quantity.

I think you only need a small handful of close buddies, especially when you are a family man 95% of your time.

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Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Are you sad bastards as sad as me?

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Jesus!

Don't top yerself, Betty!

Sounds like a touch of midlife crisis.

Get yerself a Harly! :D

I've definitely whittled down my group over time- I'll do just about anything for a friend, but as I eventually got to the point professionally and financially where I became more 'useful' to people, I found myself being taken advantage of, and it got really old after a while- constantly loaning money, having to ask people for favors on someone else's behalf, etc- this was really more of an issue in Thailand (for both foreigners and locals) than anywhere else.

These days I have a small core group of good friends that are mostly on par socio-economically and professionally (I have plenty of acquaintances and people I like, but I keep them at a certain distance)- that may sound snobbish, but living in Thailand has changed me a bit- I just got tired of dealing with other people's problems all the time- the basis of a friendship shouldn't be 'what can this guy do for me?'

I think as you get older, you have to be more choosy in your friendships as you generally have less time for them than you did in your younger days (as Aberlour said).

I had a friend ,then we got married :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Boon Mee

Get yerself a Harly!

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being a thaierphile (tm) he should buy a phantom ( orange ) and do it up as a harley

Does Thailand have The Samaritans.?:).

Get yourself a good Book Andrew Carnegie How to win friends and influence people.:)

Wow, Betty is like Withnall on crack, after a skinfull:)

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Originally Posted by Dillinger

Wow, Betty is like Withnall on crack, after a skinfull

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They need to coincide a cyber session. Would make for superlative entertainment.

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Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Yes, BTG, it's unclear. Interesting thoughts there...

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Betty Boo hoo, hoo,....you moved on, your friends moved on and that's what happened.

Its not like you continued correspondence and made a special effort to retain all those "special friends," you speak of.

I think its called geographic friendship in most cases.

I had zillions of friends once...then I quit drinking...I gave up on friends and moved on to associations...they work well and don't require commitments, just mindless talk and meaningless banter.

I'd like to meet you Bettyboo. Why you say? I want the e-mail and address of that Mongolian shemale hamster...

Mid-life crisis..hummm...you may be right. Never met a bartender that wasn't my friend.

^No one fucking likes you, they never have done!!

Fock off...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bettyboo

& what the fuk does friend mean anyways...

I ask because, I'm worried.

In my teenage and later years to early, mid and late twenties, perhaps even my early thirties, I had a massive group of friends; virtually anywhere I went; pubs, clubs, shopping centres, football clubs, rugby clubs, hospitals (:)), restaurants, hotel bars, wine bars, airports... I knew, seemingly, everyone, or at least, virtually everyone knew me, knew somebody who knew me, or had heard of my name and existence... I was in London, not bloody Sisiket, I never claimed to be anybody of note, but I knew people and was known by people. My close personal group of friends must've been 40+ people, with a few hundred more folks who you'd stop and have a drink with if you saw them - it'd be rude not to...

Nowadays, I have very few friends, if any. :( I rarely drink vodka neat... Mr Slaps, FP, Jizzy, Marmite, Stoker, Dill; they'd probably all ignore me if they saw me out in public... I only vaguely remember and keep in contact with friends of old, we have little in common. I rarely go on drug filled bersek evenings of the sort that seemingly got me well known and added to me extended friend group... :) I'm quite boring and normal. In 10+ years of living in Thailand, I only have perhaps 10 friends, all female, all upper middle class to hiso (no out of choice, they just seem the most interesting and decent folk). What the fuk has happened??? I used to go out in London 5 nights a week to clubs and know everyone of note...

:(

:(

:(

Are you sad bastards as sad as me?

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How the hell are you supposed to go on drug binges with female friends ? As I get older, I lose contact with more people. Seems the same with everyone.

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Originally Posted by jizzybloke

^No one fucking likes you, they never have done!!

Fock off...

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A pithy and erudite comment,made with some emphasis and brevity,however may I humbly suggest that should all the unloved,moronic sociopaths retire the reunions will be able to be held in Smegs Y fronts.

I hope this doesn't discourage you from an excellent contribution and an Avatar that guarantees webcruisers come again and again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Mmmm, yes and no.

I had folks I knew and shared friendships from the age of 4 to the age of 34 beforeI left the UK. I don't think that they are/were limited friendships to be ignored. This group, as I stated before was massive. GFs and others I met, regularly told me that they'd never met a person with so many friends. I truly had a massive group of friends. Bu, in our late teens onwards we were standard London twats, drinking, getting wrecked, etc. We would and did do anything for each other. We all wanted to die young. We lived life beyond most... I now have very few, if any friends... :(

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I'm 29 so I still have my old time friends in contact. We just went on a drug fuelled binge to Banff. So you are saying the drug fuelled binges end at 34 ? :(

I have a headache, my sink and toilet are blocked up, and I still don't have any friends...

Sometimes, when in Bkk, I say to the missus that I'm popping out to meet a couple of friends - she usually replies: you don't have any friends, only me'. I hope she is wrong.

Here in the ME, you do meet some very crazy and eccentric folks. Many are very friendly. Plus, I'll always have Socal as my internet buddy, and that's as close to a real deep friendship as one requires in this day and age. :)