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  1. #251
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    Mendip's Avatar
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    ^ You'd have thought the daughter would have told me before she took the pic!

    She's quick enough to pick me up on other stuff... 'please don't embarrass me again dad!'

  2. #252
    I'm in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    It was a strange one today... and a first for me.

    But firstly I want to say if you're a bit squeamish then don't read on. I make no apologies if you do.

    To my mind there's nothing any meat eater should find offensive but you never know these days. My ten year-old, posh school educated daughter was well involved... but I know there are sensitive types out there. Some pictures could be taken as a bit graphic, I guess... for a townie.

    Anyway...

    This afternoon I was sitting in the sala going through my daughter's science books before her final exam on Monday, when Yogi and Max went mental with their snake barks... somewhere over the other side of the chicken run.

    I rushed over to find this...



    Max and Yogi had nailed a an absolutely beautiful radiated rat snake.

    I eventually managed to get the dogs off the poor thing. It was around 2.2 metres long, or 7 feet, or a little over a fathom for Shutree. But sadly she was mortally wounded.



    She may have been dead already, or near death. No way could she survive the wounds the dogs had inflicted.

    I laid her out and was still moving but the muscles on these animals continue to expand and contract after death.



    This brought me back around 45 years... when I was my daughter's age and took a dead eel into my rural Somerset village primary school. I'd caught the eel in the local stream the night before, cut it's head off and put the body and head in a bowl of water and took it in to school the next day to show the teacher. One of my class mates stuck her finger in the bowl and the head bit her finger and wouldn't let go. She was shaking her hand about, screaming, with this eel head latched on to her finger... the class laughing... me getting a bollocking later. Amazing how these memories come back. Good times.

    But anyway... I had to do what was necessary... and made sure the poor girl wasn't suffering any longer.

    Anyone who knows me will know I hate to kill any animal, but also you have to do what is humane. It is kinder to end a mortally wounded animal's suffering that do nothing, and once that's done I have absolutely no qualms about using the animal... in fact I think that's your duty.

    So, I think I mentioned some time ago that when I next had an unavoidable snake death I wanted to make a nice meal and a nice belt...

    Once she was humanely dispatched I slit her with a sharp knife along the belly. The reason I keep using the feminine gender is that when I gutted her it soon became apparent that the poor thing was a girl... she was full of eggs.



    After that I quickly separated skin from body. I've never done this to a snake before having only skinned rabbits when growing up in Somerset... bit the basic principal was the same.



    And there we have it... potentially my new belt.



    At this point I was considering how to cook up the snake meat... I asked the gardener and he didn't seem overly keen. I asked the wife and she also didn't seem enthusiastic... and she eats absolutely fukkin anything... so I started to question things. I mean... eating this stuff could be how pandemics start... so maybe I was better not eating this wild snake? After much consideration I bagged it up and off the meat went to the oulaws.

    A mini 'family' pandemic would be wonderful.



    Before I got started on the skin I wanted to do something to make amends for the poor mother-to-be. I really do hate stuff like this and am way too soft for living in Thailand. I managed to save nine of her eggs and put them in a flower pot. The cup is only for scale... the snake eggs are weird... like half empty sacks, and big, around 2 inches long I reckon.



    I put the eggs in a nest of leaf litter and stuck the play pot in the corner, out of the way. I stuck a plant pot saucer on top to keep the rain out. I have no idea about a snake' reproductive cycle... do they lay already fertilised eggs like a tortoise or need a male to get involved while laying, like a frog?

    JPPR?

    We shall see... I forgot to mention to the wife about the snake nest!



    Now I concentrated on the skin, and at this point I started to wish I hadn't started on this. I pinned out the skin on a plank of wood - just as I did with rabbit skins 40 years ago in Somerset - and scraped off as much of the subcutaneous fat as I could.



    I rubbed in a load of salt... and at this point it was evident how many bites this poor girl had sustained.



    And the finished stage... for now. Yogi the hunter and the unlucky radiated rat snake mother to be.



    I left the skin here at 5pm but I need a sunny day tomorrow to dry the skin out. The salt will help to cure and dry the skin but it is so humid... I need sun.



    But all said and done... much as I hate to see a beautiful creature such as this killed, it was no coincidence she was heading to the chicken run. As anyone who has seen 'My Splendid Cock' thread will know... we've just had a batch of chicks hatch. There was no coincidence the snake was here today... if it wasn't for Yogi she would have wiped out the newly hatched chicks.

    Remind me never to move to Issan . But if I do I will.move in nextdoor to mendip and somtamslap.

  3. #253
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    I had to scroll 3 times to get to the actual text in your post.

  4. #254
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    Mendip's Avatar
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    ^^ It's not all beer and skittles in Isaan, mate.

    Tonight I spent a bit of time sitting with the daughter by the pond... the boy dogs joined us and remember thinking the girls were a bit quiet, they're still segregated because of Maya's season.

    Anyway, I got back to the house and found this...



    Maya's been a problem with her chewing... but Coco was caught red-pawed. It seems a salty snake skin treat is irresistible.



    I reckon Maya was involved as well.



    So after all that work I'm left with a few scraps of snake skin. A belt is now out of the question... or even a band around my special forces bush hat.

    What to do with this, the buggers?


  5. #255
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    Shutree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    It seems a salty snake skin treat is irresistible.
    You have found the next big thing in doggy treats. Fortune beckons.

  6. #256
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    May as well let them finish it

  7. #257
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    The plan was to put today's happenings in Looper's 'Pudding' thread, because that's what it was all about. But then I thought maybe the 'Dinner' thread would be more appropriate for obvious reasons... but I finally decided to stick it here. And besides, there's not usually anything exciting happening in Isaan...

    This is why you should never say to a 10 year-old, 'what do you want to to today?'



    But I must admit, cool, rainy weather was forecast so maybe a night camping would be OK!



    It took a bit of setting up, but good practise for Khao Yai one day.



    Why does the breeze start up as soon as you light the barbecue? Still, at least the smoke should keep the mossies away.



    My survival skills soon got the fire going... this wild camping is not so difficult as people make out.



    And this is why I considered the 'Dinner' thread. Outdoor cooked hotdogs... it don't get better than that!



    And then the daughter announced it was time for 'Smors'. I wanted to put this in Looper's 'Pudding' thread, but it gets complicated with so much going on, and besides, I'm making a 'fusion' trifle tomorrow and that is a real pudding.

    I had no idea what 'Smors' are or how me daughter knew about them. But she's 10... has her own life (obviously) so I was keen to find out.



    It turns out 'Smors' are a combination of marshmallows and chocolate, sandwiched between a couple of crackers. All the rage on 'TikTok', no doubt?



    Toast them up... I'd never heard of this as a kid. Is toasting marshmallows an American thing?



    And in your hot chocolate... that's good! A KLM spoon on the left, there.



    And this is it... a 'Smors'!

    Chocolate and marshmallow melted together in a cracker biscuit. Should be in Looper's 'Pudding' thread really.



    So, done my duty... time for bed.

    Dan and Maya sniffed about... but no food on offer so they fukked off to the gardener's kitchen. I'd be lying if i said that didn't annoy me somewhat!

    I'm sleeping in a tent in the garden while the dogs prefer to be inside the gardener's kitchen?

    Something has gone wrong!



    But Tommy stuck around. He's a great dog and will get a treat tomorrow. Loyalty gets rewarded.



    At some point you have to take the plunge. We all know what a nightmare it is to need a piss while sleeping in a tent.

    But it has to be done. I can't say that I'm proud to fill my daughter's new school water bottle with Mont Clair to get me through the night in a tent, but that's the way it is. Whisky would have been better, the less volume the better, but Covid has put paid to that.



    Yeah... camping, I love it.

    Takes me right back to the summer of '88 when I did my geology field mapping project in the Pyrenees for my degree. I got friendly with a female geologist and we shared a two-man tent for a few weeks, and I had a one-man sleeping bag!

    Good times... and I know it's unhealthy to start reminiscing about life 30 years ago. But how can you not?

    Anyway, a lovely night I shall have with my gorgeous daughter camping tonight. But I still can't help thinking about my caMping nights 30 years ago!

    Where has the time gone?


  8. #258
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Well done

    You are a good dad.





    PS:
    No wifi an poor phone coverage in Khao Yai
    Last edited by helge; 30-07-2021 at 01:44 AM.

  9. #259
    A Cockless Wonder
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    ^^epic stuff Mendip

    I did not know people camped in Thailand with the heat, but I see you have a 5 star set-up

    Don't forget to take a petrol/diesel generator with you to Khao Yai to run the 240v pat lom in the tent!

  10. #260
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    What happened to that hotdog? Did you drop it in the coals and eat it the next morning for breakfast? Blackest dog I've seen. Nice try on the Smors, but not even close. You got the Hersheys right, but thats it. Next time you go to Topps look for American marshmallows, there is no comparison, the others are not even worth buying. The cracker is wrong too. What is that a Saltine cracker? It needs to be a graham cracker, which I have never seen here. It is like when a Thai goes to 7/11 orders that nasty microwave shit and thinks they ate American food. You don't know a Smors unless you get the ingredients right.

  11. #261
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    My son insisted on camping one night in Jakarta, fuck it was hot we sweat like demons. And just as I fell asleep around 2:00am he woke me up and said “dad, you’re right it’s too hot can we go inside again!”

  12. #262
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Gotta hate them !

    I wonder if you were online that night.

  13. #263
    I'm in Jail

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    Mendip, good read, Nice to read about someone life in Thailand and everyday living.

  14. #264
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    Outstanding effort. But Smors are pure Americana.

    Listen to tunk on that one.

  15. #265
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    Klondyke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    Anyway, a lovely night I shall have with my gorgeous daughter camping tonight.
    Mendip, next time you should also think on having a TV inside, then perhaps you would need one sleeping bag more...

    (Not to speaking about having a strong WiFi signal in order not to lose a touch with TD community...)

  16. #266
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    Been camping in Thailand once. It was too hot and then about 3am it was too cold and then at 6am it was too hot.

    We only glamp nowadays.

  17. #267
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Yeah, what with that and mossies.

    Sod that for a game of soldiers.

  18. #268
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by armstrong View Post
    Been camping in Thailand once. It was too hot and then about 3am it was too cold and then at 6am it was too hot.
    Khao Yai was good for camping. As long as you didnt make the mistake of going for a long weekend or holiday period.

  19. #269
    Isle of discombobulation Joe 90's Avatar
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    Great stuff Mendip.

    You're a brave man camping in Thailand, fortunately you had all the comforts of home.

    That needing a piss in a tent is a right ballache.

    Brings back memories of me waking up one early morning with a raging thirst and drinking some cheeky little fookers piss from a water bottle, oh how they laughed.
    Shalom

  20. #270
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe 90 View Post
    Brings back memories of me waking up one early morning with a raging thirst and drinking some cheeky little fookers piss from a water bottle
    No ?

    ...

  21. #271
    Thailand Expat
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    After being away at work for nearly 4 months I've come home to a multitude of jobs that need doing. I haven't tackled any big ones yet as the daughter has been off school for the festive season and it's been good doing stuff with her. This has been great, but after Monopoly almost every afternoon I'm glad that school is starting up again next week, even if it has gone back to online. The daughter also has Aussie citizenship and has absolutely slaughtered me in the Monopoly Series... feels very familiar.

    Anyway, to get in the mood for my jobs start-up next week we tackled a small one today.

    We have a lovely pair of fan palms down by the pond but sadly as the mango trees have grown, one of the fan palms has bent over towards the available light and encroached on the neighbour's side of the wall. The trunk had become very close to his roof and he was worried about damage in strong winds as these palms act like a sail and don't half catch the wind. This was fair enough to be honest and I agreed to chop it down.

    I was busy elsewhere so the gardener set it up and then gave me a call when he was ready. All I had to do was hold on to the rope and guide the trunk away from the wall when the time came.



    I've got a lot on my mind at the moment and while the gardener chopped away I unfortunately lost concentration... and the gardener sadly neglected to tell me when the palm started to fall... so it twatted the neighbour's guttering on the way down. We had achieved precisely the event we were trying to avoid.



    But with hindsight I'm glad it fell that way and not in my direction which would have probably put me in hospital.

    And no biggy on the guttering... the gardener can soon get up the ladder and fix that... after all it was his fault, he should have called 'timber'.



    The remaining fan palm is huge... maybe 6 or 7m tall and will soon have to go the same way, sadly.


  22. #272
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    Erm, why didnt you just notch it at the base facing away from the wall and then cut the wall side to fell the whole tree

  23. #273
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by malmomike77 View Post
    Erm, why didnt you just notch it at the base facing away from the wall and then cut the wall side to fell the whole tree
    A day in the life......

  24. #274
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    Quote Originally Posted by malmomike77 View Post
    Erm, why didnt you just notch it at the base facing away from the wall and then cut the wall side to fell the whole tree

    I reckon he should have just complained to the local city council that the neighbour had broken regulations and built too close to the boundary.
    So the neighbour would have then had to pull down and rebuild has house to code.

  25. #275
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ootai View Post
    So the neighbour would have then had to pull down and rebuild has house to code.
    There are building codes here?

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