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Thread: An Isaan Pond

  1. #826
    fully fledged Mutt-packer TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Little creatures?

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    ^^^ Speaking of which... they always say it's bad luck to Christen a jetty before it's finished... but I just couldn't wait. And besides... what else are you gonna do on a wet Isaan afternoon.

    I Christen thee... 'Jetty'...



    The beautiful iridescence of Ja Dong doesn't really come out in overcast weather... but the taste is the same.

    I think the daughter must have deliberately taken this shot slightly off the horizontal for full artistic effect.



    Incidentally, my hair isn't usually this short. I bought a set of clippers last year when working in Sweden because I got pissed off spending 30 quid for 10 minutes of a 'hairdresser's' time, but have got in the habit of doing it meself ever since. I save 70 Baht a month now, but it looks pretty grim.

    And once I got the taste... I splashed out with a box of Mont Clair and settled down to look at the jetty frame for a couple of hours, with a smile on me face. Sometimes I wish I could share the really momentous days with other humans, but it's not a deal breaker.



    And Yogi's meaning was clear... it's the dog's bollocks!



    The problem now of course... I only have 'Leo' drinking speed... how to stay awake until 8pm for the footy?

  3. #828
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    Christen a jetty before it's finished
    How many monks for the proper blessing?

    An Isaan Pond-check-buddhist-monk-calls-bangladesh-pm


    "For All That Stand And Cast Their Hook, We Bless This Pontoon".


    "
    สำหรับทุกสิ่งที่ยืนหยัดและเหวี่ยงเบ็ด เราขออวยพรให้โป๊ะลำนี้ Their
    Last edited by OhOh; 13-06-2021 at 09:28 PM.
    A tray full of GOLD is not worth a moment in time.

  4. #829
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    Before welding into position I wanted to check the attitude of the frame.

    This was just like being back at work, although instead of taking measurement on a structure sitting on the seabed it was a bit easier taking the measurements on the frame in the back garden.

    The pitch was absolutely spot on.



    But there was a roll of a few degrees down to the port, at both the bow and stern. This was a bit disappointing and I don't really understand how it happened. There's been no major recent earth movements in the area to my knowledge and I have to face the possibility that I fukked up in the prep stage.

    But anyway, I jacked up the port side 8mm, fore and aft, by wellying in a few short lengths of rebar. Sorted.

    Onshore, port side...



    And offshore, port side.



    The level was now spot on.



    And most importantly the horizontal beam upon which my wooden bar will be installed was absolutely perfectly level. In theory this means that my daughter will be able to pour me a Ya Dong to the brim of the shot glass and I won't lose a drop through an uneven surface.



    I allowed the gardener to do the offshore welding. He seems much less concerned about the water/electricity combination than I am.

    It went mundanely well without a hitch.



    I should have done this meself to be honest... I thought it was going to be well dodgy.



    Although in saying that I have never before witnessed the gardener wearing safety gloves and safety trainers with socks. Maybe he was secretly a bit concerned about this operation.



    I was pretty pleased with his work, and remember that this will all be covered from view by the wooden decking. The welds were all ground back and then I sanded the blistered paint ready for priming and later re-painting.





    And apart from that I managed to get the first coat of wood stain on the wooden planks. I opted for 'Red Wood' colour, although the Chaindrite is so dark that the red doesn't really show.



    The production line set up...



    And at the close pf play... day 18? The wood brought in under cover after the first coat of stain due to yet more rain.

    Maybe after three coats the wood will look better and the red colour will show above the dark Chaindrite?



    And I managed to get two coats of primer on the welded areas before the school pick-up. I find it extremely difficult to get much done on weekdays due to the school runs and other fatherly and dog related duties. Not to mention my husbandly duties... sadly one of which seems to be cancelled until I get my feet sorted out.


  5. #830
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    I jacked up
    shimmed

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    fully fledged Mutt-packer TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    And most importantly the horizontal beam upon which my wooden bar will be installed was absolutely perfectly level. In theory this means that my daughter will be able to pour me a Ya Dong to the brim of the shot glass and I won't lose a drop through an uneven surface.
    It's about the attention to detail. I like that.

  7. #832
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post

    But, you're garden jetty! If you use that reasoning

    "You're " ?????????? I hope you don't teach English....

  8. #833
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcusb View Post
    "You're " ?????????? I hope you don't teach English....
    Nice one. You've found a week old error.

    Stalker and or multinic. Go away, I'm not interested in your man love.

    Quote Originally Posted by marcusb View Post
    "You're " ?????????? I hope you don't teach English....
    Quote Originally Posted by marcusb View Post


    I hope are you not teaching English, as I see four errors in that one line.

  9. #834
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    I'm sensing a bit of 'jetty fatigue', but I'll press on.

    I've started so I'll finish, and all that.

    The very last stage will be to install the wood onto the frame. The wood stain is taking an age to dry so while applying further coats I'm finishing off the other small stuff. I think there may be a couple of days wait right at the end waiting for the wood stain to dry completely before screwing down the planks.

    I roughed up the surface of the concrete a bit and put some rebar in, ready to pour the next stage of the step.



    The shuttering will go in alongside the metal frame, thereby creating a natural small gap between frame and concrete to avoid moisture sitting against the metal.

    I've found four stone paving slabs which will top the step.



    And the view back towards the sala.

    The vertical face just in front of where Tommy is sitting and licking his cock will need chipping out and a new layer of cement applied to make it look tidy.



    And the wooden planks... one further coat of stain applied today and the red colour is starting to show. That's three coats of Chaindrite and now two coats of stain. I must have the best preserved feet in Isaan although I think the wife will insist I give them a good clean up for the weekend.



    My intention is also to pre-drill all the holes in the wood prior to installation on the metal frame. I'm thinking of injecting wood stain into each hole as they will otherwise be a weak spot. Are pipe cleaners still a thing? I remember using them for art as a kid when watching 'Take Hart', and they would be perfect for pulling though each hole after the stain has been injected. I'll have to check Lazada.

  10. #835
    fully fledged Mutt-packer TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Craft shops have pipe cleaners.

  11. #836
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    I can't believe you are going to so much trouble to get a little bit of stainer into the holes, are you going to paint them inside with Chaindrite as well?
    If I was doing the job (granted it would have been a bit rougher up to this point) I would mix some Chaindrite with the stainer, pre drill the holes and just before I screwed the plank on I would pour some into the hole and then screw through the mixture into the steel to coat the inside of the hole. Any excess would just be squeezed out by the screw or go into the steel.

    Can't wait to see the end product.

  12. #837
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post


    I hope are you not teaching English, as I see four errors in that one line.
    Nope, not teaching English, also not pointing out errors in other peoples English in order to gain some kind of credence. Just a guy who likes to subtly point out pompous assholes. Cheers.

  13. #838
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    Quote Originally Posted by ootai View Post
    ... I would mix some Chaindrite with the stainer, pre drill the holes and just before I screwed the plank on I would pour some into the hole and then screw through the mixture into the steel to coat the inside of the hole. Any excess would just be squeezed out by the screw or go into the steel.
    Then that is what I will do!

    I'm not too proud to take advice from a competent engineer... and failing that, your idea sounds pretty good.


    I just looked back through this thread and discovered that I started this jetty project on 20th May, which makes this Day 27. Quite incredible for such a small project but I guess I have had a few days off here and there. And with everything else going on I never get a full day at it. But even so... four weeks...

    The project is drawing to it's conclusion and this is a nice stage as every day sees something completed.

    First up was to shutter off and pour the final part of the concrete step.

    As Tunk mentioned in his thread, the way to mix concrete is to first mix the dry sand and cement together, then add water to make a soup. Once that is well mixed, add the stone at the end. Better still, get the farkin gardener to do it... but he was 'busy' trimming the hedge today.

    It was only 32 degrees with 60 percent humidity today... so pretty bladdy unbearable as usual.



    It wasn't the first time I've wished that in Thailand they could make nails that are actually strong enough to penetrate wood.



    I protected the metal frame with a couple of chicken feed bags as the wooden shuttering is going to get pretty tightly wedged in there and I want to avoid scratching the metal too badly when I remove the wood.



    Once the concrete was mixed this job didn't take long at all.



    I filled the shuttering to the level of the top of the old concrete. This will all be covered with maybe an inch of cement to set the capping paving slabs into.



    And then the third and final coat of wood stain went onto the wooden planks. This coat barely soaked in at all so I think three is enough.

    The red colour is showing nicely now and there'll be no water getting in there.



    So, the status at the end of Day 27...

    The concrete step is going off with some protection from the baking sun.



    And the final coat of wood stain is drying off on the wooden planks.


  14. #839
    fully fledged Mutt-packer TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    I just looked back through this thread and discovered that I started this jetty project on 20th May, which makes this Day 27. Quite incredible for such a small project but I guess I have had a few days off here and there. And with everything else going on I never get a full day at it. But even so... four weeks...
    And if we'd hired a Thai to go it, everyone would be moaning about how thai's take the piss on jobs etc etc...

    whereas the reality is it's just a bigger job than you realise.

  15. #840
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ootai View Post
    Any excess would just be squeezed out by the screw or go into the steel
    which would also add a paint seal to where the metal tek screw tips drill into the metal

    what sort of countersunk head are you using ? phillips ? or a sunken hex drive ?

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    ^ This is the plan Baldrick.

    To pre-drill all the holes in the wood and then use these phillips head screws. They should only require a tiny bit of countersinking to get the head flush with the wood.


  17. #842
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    ^ Are they galvanised?

  18. #843
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    Originally Posted by ootai (An Isaan Pond)
    ... I would mix some Chaindrite with the stainer, pre drill the holes and just before I screwed the plank on I would pour some into the hole and then screw through the mixture into the steel to coat the inside of the hole. Any excess would just be squeezed out by the screw or go into the steel.



    Originally Posted by Mendip

    Then that is what I will do!

    I'm not too proud to take advice from a competent engineer... and failing that, your idea sounds pretty good.




    Please show me anywhere where I said I was competent!
    I would say I am competent if you want to blow something up using explosives but building anything, never.

  19. #844
    CCBW JPPR2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steady View Post
    ^ Are they galvanised?
    Zinc plated. Perfect. What I used on my deck.

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    Half a bucket of water a day will help the concrete strengthen.

  21. #846
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    ^ How do you mean OhOh... poured across the step every day?

  22. #847
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    poured across the step every day?
    Yes, until it stops being absorbed, 4 or 5 days

  23. #848
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendip View Post
    ^ How do you mean OhOh... poured across the step every day?

    Mate, don't know if you are taking the piss or not.

    The water slows down the curing time. By doing that the strength increases.

    A wetted hessian bag. My Uncle to put soil over it and wet the soil.

    Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago ...


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  25. #850
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    Aah well... you live and learn

    I'm certainly no expert... just an enthusiastic amateur passing the days. Thankfully we've been having rain most nights so I've had a bit of luck there.


    Today has been a bit shit to be honest.

    I have 21 planks of treated wood... one of which is destined to become the bar top to lean on.

    I selected the best, flattest plank of wood and rested it in place to get it out of the way and work on the others.



    I've spent the last few weeks thinking I had a 3m long jetty frame, and 20 available 15cm wide planks of wood... the maths is perfect. I thought I may even have two spare planks once gaps were taken into account.

    Luckily I did a test measure of the jetty frame length today... and it's 309cm. Yes... I'd forgotten that the end members are in addition to the 3m long members.

    What a twat!

    This left me requiring 312cm of wood at a minimum as I wanted at least 2cm of overlap at the offshore end and 1cm at the onshore end, against the concrete steps.

    I measured the width of a couple of planks of wood to double check things, and started to panic. My '15cm' wide planks of wood were mainly well under 15cm... the narrowest was 13.6cm and only two or three achieved the full 15cm width I had assumed. I have been working on using 0.6cm gaps between planks, as used by JP around his marvelous pool.

    I used 14.5cm as an average plank width, and attempted my first bit of advanced algebra since school... I knew it would come in handy one day.

    (14.5 x 20) + (0.6 x 19) = 301.4cm

    Way under what I needed. What a fukkin disaster.

    I tried with 0.7mm gaps but this only added 1.9cm giving me 303.3cm.

    This pissed me off immensely... no way do I want to start buying more wood at this final stage of the project. It was all going so perfectly before this.

    In desperation I decided to put all the planks alongside one another and see exactly how much wood I had.



    It totalled 291.5cm, and for those interested this works out at an average of 14.6cm width per plank, 0.4cm under what I had assumed (and paid for).

    Never before have I wished so much for just a bit more wood.

    I played around with the numbers and came up with this.

    (14.6 x 20) + (1.0 x 19) = 311.0cm

    This means I can just get 1.5cm overlap at the offshore end of the jetty and 0.5cm overlap onshore.

    But it means using 10mm gaps between planks. More than I really want, but what can ya do?

    This is how it will look with 10mm gaps. It should be OK... it's not as though I'll get a toe wedged in there or anything.



    To cheer meself up I poured a bucket of water over the concrete step, as per OhOh's advice, and then got on with marking up the positions for the holes in the wood.



    Mid-member to mid-member across the 1.5m wide jetty frame measured at 144.5cm. Each plank is 167.5cm long. The maths was easy.

    167.5 - 144.5 = 23.0cm

    Therefore I needed to mark up holes 11.5cm in from the ends of the planks. This may seem a bit heavy on the maths but I'm also trying to show my daughter how important maths is before her end of term exams next week.

    I marked up the first plank, but thought I'd double check before continuing with the remaining 19...



    Spot fucking on!



    And then it was a simple matter of setting up the production line for marking up...

    ... drilling...



    And countersinking...



    This was all a bit rushed as we had a message from the school saying that a couple of pupils had come into contact with a confirmed Covid positive case (outside of school) and so the school would be closed tomorrow, and could we please pick up the kids ASAP.

    It's supposed to be end of term 'assessments' next week... when will this end?

    But I guess at least I'm spared Korat's rush hour traffic tomorrow.

    But most important of all... will 10mm gaps between planks be OK.

    It's been on my mind all day.
    Last edited by Mendip; 17-06-2021 at 05:54 PM.

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