Hahaha that tickled me.
I remember my husky was sick and had no energy at all. I had to lift the heavy bstard onto the vet table where he was sprawled out with 4 legs pointed at the 4 corners of the room.
All of a sudden, no warning, no lube, not even a little bit of spit, tail up thermometer right in.
Without even flinching his eyes just rolled to the side to meet mine with that one-eyeborow-up-one-eyebrow-down kinda look.
Sorry bud, you're on your own with this one.