Sinsod & Mother in laws

[Travelmate]

personally I will never pay for my girl.
However when asked I always say pay as much as you can afford.

[Rigger]

As for the ol sin sod thingy ,,,,,,,,, I think if you delve into the small print ( and please dont take this the wrong way ) there is an exemption clause some families will be happy to accept along the lines of second hand goods .

Have seen Thais pay sin sod for a woman on her second marrage with kids. I think it was around 50K and a few baht gold, I think it would be pretty hard to find a un used one over the age of 14-15 in the village.
For all you guys that say you never paid sin sot, did you pay for the party did you give your wife gold ? if yes you as good as paid sin sot. Just becuase you didnt lay the cash out for all too see dont mean you didnt pay.
Now if you didnt have a party or give your wife any gold well then your just a sorry tight cnut that probably doesnt deserve her

[The Master Cool]

I refused to buy my wife.

Paying for her infant two babies for the next 22 years is more than enough surely.

[Marmite the Dog]

I refused to buy my wife.

Paying for her infant two babies for the next 22 years is more than enough surely.

I don't equate looking after my family to paying sin-sot. If you feel that raising your family is a piece of bullshit from a backward culture, than that's up to you.

[mingmong]

I remember going to Bkk shopping, wife hinted we needed an Air-conditioner for 1 Bedroom Bangalow.I come back with a vacume cleaner that still 'in the Box' after 2 years.
No Sin-snot but I have built a new House for 2mil. not the same I guess?

[Krumble]

This is an old chestnut that many farangs tie themselves in knots worrying about. First of all you need to accept that you are marrying into Thai culture where sinsot, although a barbarous and outmoded custom to farangs, remains a very important custom. Next you need to separate the amount of sinsot you are going to show on the platter at the wedding ceremony and how much you are actually going to give away. It is quite normal to make a big display of cash and gold and even title deeds on the platter but take a large portion of this back. What is important is how much is displayed and that is the amount your mother-in-law will quote to all the nosy parkers who will be asking how much she got for her daughter for years to come. These days it is quite normal for village boys who have gone to university to show several hundred thousand baht plus gold on the platter, even if they got it from a money lender the day before and have to return it plus interest the next day. Farangs are supposed to be much wealthier and puting a poxy B100k on the tray and no gold is going to give your mother-in-law terminal loss of face which she will resent for ever and will pass on to your wife. A self respecting farang is going to want to stump up in the region of B300-500k plus 5-10 baht of gold for display purposes. What you let your in-laws retain from that is between you, your in-laws and your wife and doesn't much matter, as long as they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever. If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.

BTW for those who are marrying Thai women that already have children from previous liasons, please note that the concept of sinsot doesn't apply. No Thai parents would dream of asking for sinsot from a Thai man in the unlikely event that one was nice enough to take their tainted goods daughter off their hands in such a situation and you should also not entertain such an outrageous request.

[Fabian]

I refused to buy my wife.

I did not even need to refuse.

[Bruno]

they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever. If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.

One would have to be very naive not to see that 'face' is very important to a Thai, as it is for many Asian's in fact. However, I think it's unfair to pass the judgement that 'unless we are prepared to pay the previous said amounts' we can expect to have a miserable long term relationship because of it.

You are simply basing this on your own account or that of friends, and where their relationship may have failed because of it doesn't apply to everybody here I am sure as some have stated that they never paid a sinsod...

[keekwai]

Her response is usually, "it's my mother, I can take care"

Just be careful that's not the "prenuptial response" .. which could possibly change once the ring is on.

[ota]

I think your wife will make you or break you.

That said it cost me $1000 plus a promise to send $100/month.

That worked until her dad died. Her mother has a gambling problem that makes any financial arrangement impossible.

Ota

[albarb]

JOHNNY LINGO'S 8-COW WIFE

"But," he finished softly, "I wanted an eight-cow wife."

Great story Whiteshiva...... to each his own!

[Bruno]

Just be careful that's not the "prenuptial response" .. which could possibly change once the ring is on.

Kindly noted...

[Bruno]

JOHNNY LINGO'S 8-COW WIFE

Great read Whiteshiva and an even better moral to be learnt from it at the end.

[Rigger]

A self respecting farang is going to want to stump up in the region of B300-500k plus 5-10 baht of gold for display purposes. What you let your in-laws retain from that is between you, your in-laws and your wife and doesn't much matter, as long as they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever. If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.

Bullshit 500K is to much, probably been to 50 weddings some well off Thais and farang and never seen 500k laid out.

BTW for those who are marrying Thai women that already have children from previous liasons, please note that the concept of sinsot doesn't apply. No Thai parents would dream of asking for sinsot from a Thai man in the unlikely event that one was nice enough to take their tainted goods daughter off their hands in such a situation and you should also not entertain such an outrageous request

More bullshit village Thais will pay a few baht of gold and normaly enough sin sot to cover the party.

[the dogcatcher]

Girls with children are "pre fucked".
No sin sot.

[teddy]

I refused to buy my wife.

Paying for her infant two babies for the next 22 years is more than enough surely.

I don't equate looking after my family to paying sin-sot. If you feel that raising your family is a piece of bullshit from a backward culture, than that's up to you.

It isn't your family. You are the new foreign sponsor (sanap sonoong doi farang). The person the family respects as the father/husband is the grubbly slimey guy who turns up when you are not around.

[teddy]

Bullshit 500K is to much, probably been to 50 weddings some well off Thais and farang and never seen 500k laid out.


More bullshit village Thais will pay a few baht of gold and normaly enough sin sot to cover the party.

You haven't met well-off Thais then. 1 million plus is quite common for a girl from a good family with masters degree. In Issan well-off just means more than one buffalo and 20K baht is seen as a lot of money. I went to one Thai/Thai wedding in BKK and the sin sod was 10 million plus house plus car.

You've confused sin sod with responsibility to pay for the wedding party. they are separate.

[Rigger]

Girls with children are "pre fucked". No sin sot.

They are all pre fucked" mate and from what I have seen in Isaan they will still pay some sin sot small amount of gold and enough to cover a party. Maybe they just make there own rules as they feel like it.
I know farangs that married a pre owned one and didnt pay sin sot but paid for the party and some gold and built a house. So he paid he just dont know it.

[Rigger]

In Issan well-off just means more than one buffalo and 20K baht is seen as a lot of money

Yes I live in Isaan and I mean well off by farang standard. Isaan is 35% of Thailand do you really think well off in isaan is a baffalo and 20K is alot of money ?

[Rigger]

You've confused sin sod with responsibility to pay for the wedding party. they are separate

call it anything you want, ring,gold,house,party you still paid.

[superman]

I'm sorry to say, but Krumble's post #32 is complete tosh, in my opinion.

[Rigger]

1 million plus is quite common for a girl from a good family with masters degree

Is that what she tells you

[teddy]

In Issan well-off just means more than one buffalo and 20K baht is seen as a lot of money

Yes I live in Isaan and I mean well off by farang standard. Isaan is 35% of Thailand do you really think well off in isaan is a baffalo and 20K is alot of money ?

In 65% of the country if you told a Thai you married a poor Issan girl, they would know you married a prostitute and you had now lowered your face to the same level.

The only industry in Issan that makes money is screwing.
The police and Chinese politicians such as newin screw the people.
The whores screw farang.
If an Issan family has money, it's because the daughters (and sons) screw farang of their savings.

[teddy]

1 million plus is quite common for a girl from a good family with masters degree

Is that what she tells you

My one's different.

[teddy]

This is an old chestnut that many farangs tie themselves in knots worrying about. First of all you need to accept that you are marrying into Thai culture where sinsot, although a barbarous and outmoded custom to farangs, remains a very important custom. Next you need to separate the amount of sinsot you are going to show on the platter at the wedding ceremony and how much you are actually going to give away. It is quite normal to make a big display of cash and gold and even title deeds on the platter but take a large portion of this back. What is important is how much is displayed and that is the amount your mother-in-law will quote to all the nosy parkers who will be asking how much she got for her daughter for years to come. These days it is quite normal for village boys who have gone to university to show several hundred thousand baht plus gold on the platter, even if they got it from a money lender the day before and have to return it plus interest the next day. Farangs are supposed to be much wealthier and puting a poxy B100k on the tray and no gold is going to give your mother-in-law terminal loss of face which she will resent for ever and will pass on to your wife. A self respecting farang is going to want to stump up in the region of B300-500k plus 5-10 baht of gold for display purposes. What you let your in-laws retain from that is between you, your in-laws and your wife and doesn't much matter, as long as they can tell the nosy parkers they flogged her off for B500k, 10 baht of gold, a shop house and a Honda Wave or whatever. If you can't accept this aspect of Thai culture you are probably going to have a miserable married life here anyway and it would be better to go home and find your ideal Essex or Jersey girl instead.

BTW for those who are marrying Thai women that already have children from previous liasons, please note that the concept of sinsot doesn't apply. No Thai parents would dream of asking for sinsot from a Thai man in the unlikely event that one was nice enough to take their tainted goods daughter off their hands in such a situation and you should also not entertain such an outrageous request.

Good insight but I know it will upset a few posters here Lols