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  1. #176
    Thailand Expat Storekeeper's Avatar
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    Thought about an update a couple weeks ago but let it pass and now I’m ready to do it.

    It’s been a tough 4 years but we’re in the last leg of this Washington State University journey.

    She’s on her third and final change of major. Started off pursuing a nursing degree and now it’s down to just a plain vanilla General Studies degree with a Human Development emphasis.

    After being a fairly decent high school student with a solid GPA she’s barely put much effort into it hovering around a 2.25 GPA.

    Won’t graduate on time next month and will need another semester. But I’m done and have drawn a line in the sand.

    Total cost for me all in for 4.5 years will be right around $95K ... $6K more to go and it’s paid off.

    What’s coming after for her? I don’t know. She seems to think she’ll be able to get some sort of on campus job with WSU. I’m pushing, and have her Thai family pushing, her to go one of two routes ... Supply Officer in the Navy or as a civilian logistician with the Navy. Those are the only silver bullets I have left for her.

  2. #177
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Storekeeper View Post
    Thought about an update a couple weeks ago but let it pass and now I’m ready to do it.

    It’s been a tough 4 years but we’re in the last leg of this Washington State University journey.

    She’s on her third and final change of major. Started off pursuing a nursing degree and now it’s down to just a plain vanilla General Studies degree with a Human Development emphasis.

    After being a fairly decent high school student with a solid GPA she’s barely put much effort into it hovering around a 2.25 GPA.

    Won’t graduate on time next month and will need another semester. But I’m done and have drawn a line in the sand.

    Total cost for me all in for 4.5 years will be right around $95K ... $6K more to go and it’s paid off.

    What’s coming after for her? I don’t know. She seems to think she’ll be able to get some sort of on campus job with WSU. I’m pushing and have her Thai family pushing her to go one of two routes ... Supply Officer in the Navy or as a civilian logistician with the Navy.
    ...fortunately, those don't appear to be her only two options...she's an adult now and should be charting her own course...possibly at the expense of your silver ammo...

  3. #178
    Thailand Expat Storekeeper's Avatar
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    ^ Cheers TC. TBH I really hope she finds her own path. It’s a real tough sell even with connections to get a non Business Major in as a Supply Officer.

  4. #179
    The Fool on the Hill bowie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Storekeeper View Post
    What’s coming after for her? I don’t know. She seems to think she’ll be able to get some sort of on campus job with WSU. I’m pushing, and have her Thai family pushing, her to go one of two routes ... Supply Officer in the Navy or as a civilian logistician with the Navy.
    SK - you are better off letting your young adult choose her own path and make her own decisions. If she comes to you asking for advisement by all means provide her with your honest, unemotional (if possible) advice. She has to pursue a career path that will satisfy her - really a question and a personal decision only she can answer and choose.

    You know quite well military requires a certain motivation and desire. If she doesn't have it, she'll fail.

    At a certain point in time (and this is probably the time) she will have to take charge of her own life. It is then that most people start to have failures of judgement, lesson learning, and begin to understand they do not know it all. Was when I started asking the old man for his advice and wisdom. It was only after I had made a few judgmental mistakes that I realized his advisements were on target and in my best interest.

    Up to you, but, really it's up to her. Good luck to her and may she hit a few home runs in pursuit of her life.

  5. #180
    Thailand Expat Storekeeper's Avatar
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    ^ Yep ... up to her and in no way will I lose sleep if she chooses a different path. More power to her. It’s her decision. But I’m not going to miss this one last opportunity to make sure she doesn’t just waive off the Navy without putting some thought to it. She’d do fine as a Supply Officer. No problem. Make at least 0-5. If she can do better in the civilian world ... fine. No worries. But, oh by the way ... there is this career path over here that leads to retirement at 42 and a guaranteed monthly income for life.

    Just checked a calculator ... assuming 0-5 ... somebody who joined in August 2000 and retired in August 2020 would get $4500 a month.
    Last edited by Storekeeper; 28-04-2020 at 11:33 AM.

  6. #181
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    SK, we have talked about this at length and in person. Your daughter is going to make up her own mind, its that simple, at this age kids are headstrong, very headstrong indeed. My kids who are basically the same age as your daughter would listen to me but literally take it with a grain of salt.

    Both have already changed jobs one time in just a year of employment as they seek out what they want to do and are good at. Both moves have been for the better. Its terribly hard to just sit back and let them make their own way, but its something you must do. Bowie said it quite well.

    Once they get out in the real world they really grow up fast. The change in my daughters since university and work life has been great. They now are beginning to understand what the "real" world is. I will bet you she surprise both you and her mom with her career choice. Good luck buddy...

  7. #182
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    ^^That is pretty sweet money, but money isn't everything. She will eventually decide if that is what she wants to do for the rest of her life. Congrats on her almost finishing no matter. With a general degree, some people come out and work a number of jobs before finding something they like or want to do for the rest of their lives. Myself and my oldest niece decided a few times on specializing (her in Nursing and myself in Teaching), because we knew that is what we wanted to do. Other people may not really know until they fall into it or find something they enjoy doing. Best of luck to her! It isn't easy being a student (A Millenial), in this day and age that is for sure.

  8. #183
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    Well done for seeing it through Keep. As mentioned she'll have to work it out for herself. There is almost an expectation in the younger generation that they may have 3-5 "careers" during their working life, some settle quickly on one others take time to find their slot and in general seem less bothered by a defined single path career. In the US it may be different as in the UK our social support system includes comprehensive healthcare so there is less imperative to secure employment which includes medical.

  9. #184
    The Fool on the Hill bowie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Storekeeper View Post
    I’m not going to miss this one last opportunity to make sure she doesn’t just waive off the Navy without putting some thought to it. She’d do fine as a Supply Officer. No problem. Make at least 0-5. If she can do better in the civilian world ...
    SK, as prior navy (best decision I ever made) I'm as pro military as they come. But, the 24/7 hours and deployments, take a heavy, heavy toll. You know. If your daughter is ambivalent about the military. It won't work.

    However, retiring after 20 years then starting a second career - a most lucrative career path, very hard to beat. Good luck to her.

  10. #185
    CCBW Stumpy's Avatar
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    SK,
    Well as you may have read my youngest just kicked out into the "Real World" not to long ago . I never once told either daughter what I think they should do career wise. I just guided them along keeping them going forward. My youngest med school tuition was ~ $150k. My ex and I split the costs. That amount does not include the car and extras so figure $200k. She originally started out on a swimming scholarship at Univ of Hawaii. Her major was Marine Biology. She did that about 1.5 years and then decided that there was no real opportunities in that field and transferred all her units to Medicine and then moved back to California and went half time to USF and half time Stanford. Again I just supported her but she has always been driven like her older sister and she had a GPA of 4.0+so how could I argue anything. Now she is out and was immediately offered a position and took it and moved. In the end as a father I was pretty simple in that I just wanted both my daughters to be happy, healthy, productive and secure. The rest was upside.

    I will say though. We definitely want the best for them and we look at how we did our lives and the hindsight we have now and you want to tell them a good choice but that's our point of view. What I am instilling in both my daughters is start their 401ks now. Get in early. Save like crazy but still balance living life. I help with both their investment portfolio and they both have the max taken out each check. I told them its funny. Initially you see that money and want to go spend it instead but after awhile you adjust your living expenses and you forget but you are socking it away for a future. My oldest already has a nice little chunk growing at 26.

    Anyway. Cheers to you and best of luck.

  11. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by Storekeeper View Post
    Thought about an update a couple weeks ago but let it pass and now I’m ready to do it.

    It’s been a tough 4 years but we’re in the last leg of this Washington State University journey.

    She’s on her third and final change of major. Started off pursuing a nursing degree and now it’s down to just a plain vanilla General Studies degree with a Human Development emphasis.

    After being a fairly decent high school student with a solid GPA she’s barely put much effort into it hovering around a 2.25 GPA.

    Won’t graduate on time next month and will need another semester. But I’m done and have drawn a line in the sand.

    Total cost for me all in for 4.5 years will be right around $95K ... $6K more to go and it’s paid off.

    What’s coming after for her? I don’t know. She seems to think she’ll be able to get some sort of on campus job with WSU. I’m pushing, and have her Thai family pushing, her to go one of two routes ... Supply Officer in the Navy or as a civilian logistician with the Navy. Those are the only silver bullets I have left for her.

    Wow, 14 years this thread. Well done for staying with her. It isn't easy letting them go. I have done it four times and they are all following their own paths now. All turned out okay.
    Many years ago a friend gave me a book with this piece, which has stayed with me. Maybe you know it already.

    On Children
    Kahlil Gibran - 1883-1931

    And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
    And he said:
    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

  12. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by Storekeeper View Post
    Those are the only silver bullets I have left for her.
    You're a great father, SK . . . Not everyone knows what is good for the at such a young age

  13. #188
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat View Post
    You're a great father, SK . . . Not everyone knows what is good for the ______ at such a young age
    ...goose? gander?...moose? panda?...

  14. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ...goose? gander?...moose? panda?...
    'm'

  15. #190
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat View Post
    'm'
    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat View Post
    You're a great father, SK . . . Not everyone knows what is good for the 'm' at such a young age
    ...ok, now it makes sense...

  16. #191
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    Darn frustrating, I can imagine.

    My eldest is just about to turn 18 and has decided that he doesn't need to go to University. He has a couple of uncles who have convinced him that you can earn more money in sales and that University is a waste of time.

    Warning: Be cautious if you are a fragile pink

  17. #192
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    He's almost 18 already???? Sweet black baby Jesus . . . the time . . .


    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    My eldest is just about to turn 18 and has decided that he doesn't need to go to University.
    Well, not everyone needs to go to university ... it's just more difficult for those who have to accept this.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    He has a couple of uncles who have convinced him that you can earn more money in sales and that University is a waste of time.
    Aaah, outside influences . . . love 'em.

  18. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    Darn frustrating, I can imagine.

    My eldest is just about to turn 18 and has decided that he doesn't need to go to University. He has a couple of uncles who have convinced him that you can earn more money in sales and that University is a waste of time.

    Oh wow. I would hit the damn roof, and would not take that well.

    Maybe try and angle it as a "gap year" for him to see how it goes?

  19. #194
    Thailand Expat raycarey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    My eldest is just about to turn 18 and has decided that he doesn't need to go to University.
    he might be right....statistically unlikely....but it's possible.

    and two things to remember:

    1. he can always start university when he's 19, 20, 21...or whatever..... if/when he realizes that it's harder out there without a degree.
    2. this would be the ideal time to take a gap year or two....why pay full tuition for what is likely to turn into a year of online learning?

  20. #195
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    Maybe try and angle it as a "gap year" for him to see how it goes?
    ...sounds like a good idea...coupled with a gradual reduction of support until he decides that the one who pays the piper calls the tune...

  21. #196
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat View Post
    He's almost 18 already???? Sweet black baby Jesus . . . the time . . .
    I know, right.

    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    Oh wow. I would hit the damn roof, and would not take that well.

    Maybe try and angle it as a "gap year" for him to see how it goes?
    I pretty much did, and given he lives with my ex currently, I wasn't real happy with her either. Gap year is what I am thinking and hoping, I'm also hoping that this COVID crisis will show him what happens to those with little safety net. He already lost his sales job. But then picked up another part time job the very same week.

    Quote Originally Posted by raycarey View Post
    he might be right....statistically unlikely....but it's possible.

    and two things to remember:

    1. he can always start university when he's 19, 20, 21...or whatever..... if/when he realizes that it's harder out there without a degree.
    2. this would be the ideal time to take a gap year or two....why pay full tuition for what is likely to turn into a year of online learning?
    Yep, I'm hoping he doesn't take too long on a gap year or two to return to study.


    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ...sounds like a good idea...coupled with a gradual reduction of support until he decides that the one who pays the piper calls the tune...
    Unfortunately with that, his mom is happy to pay.

    anyway, I didnt mean to take away from StoreKeeper's daughter thread.

    But at least she's got the degree, then she can mess around a bit, learn a few lessons without harm done.

  22. #197
    Thailand Expat OhOh's Avatar
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    Parents can and do offer guidance and assistance.

    Daughters and sons, take control eventually.

    Mum and dad are always there.

    It's life, always has been .

    Death .................

    The will is read.

    End.
    Last edited by OhOh; 28-04-2020 at 10:37 PM.

  23. #198
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raycarey View Post
    he might be right....statistically unlikely....but it's possible.

    and two things to remember:

    1. he can always start university when he's 19, 20, 21...or whatever..... if/when he realizes that it's harder out there without a degree.
    2. this would be the ideal time to take a gap year or two....why pay full tuition for what is likely to turn into a year of online learning?
    *1 - yep, and heavily influenced by *2

    *2 - fully agree, under the circumstances.

  24. #199
    Thailand Expat Storekeeper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealKW View Post
    anyway, I didnt mean to take away from StoreKeeper's daughter thread. .
    No worries. A couple of good points were brought up. The second half of what was supposed to be my daughter’s final semester suddenly turned into all online classes. And the fall semester could very well end up being all online too. Not sure how this is going to work out. My daughter seems to think online is more work.

  25. #200
    Thailand Expat Storekeeper's Avatar
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    Time to close out and archive this thread:

    The kid graduated in December 2020.
    Got US citizenship in February 2021.

    That US citizenship officially and forever ended her dependent on me status.

    Turns 23 today! And not married and not pregnant! Hooyah!

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