Scuttlebut

In Thailand, the economy is beginning to wobble. Blame higher fuel prices, the Tsunami, the trade deficit, consumer debt, southern violence or whatever, but business confidence is lacking and inflation is kicking in. Inflation is mainly driven by spiralling oil prices as Thailand's unsophisticated transport system devours fuel, making it a major part of transportation costs. I am told as a result the cost of product in the markets is rising sharply and without quoting specifics, I sense that restaurant prices have all moved up. Wine prices are higher as a result of currency changes, and I suspect that beer prices are due for a hike on the back of transport costs. I suppose the good news for visitors is that the Baht is weak and is now subject to external downward pressures. “Not another '97” I hear the cry. There are people who are muttering just that, although I think most would say “no not this year anyway!” Anyway no worries, the Chairman has just announced a series of spending packages to boost the economy! Money from where? Do not ask embarrassing questions!

I saw big Andy last week in CEB in Patpong. They certainly have a lot of girls there now and it does look a little busier. According to Andy it is doing very well, which is more than can be said for CEB disco in Walking Street in Pattaya! I had heard the rumour and Andy confirmed it - the disco, formerly a gogo, is about to be a gogo again. Why, I am not sure, as it is now clearly outside the gogo area but obviously Andy has money to burn.
On top of that, Andy is about to open a Black Adder Steak House in Sukhumvit Soi 49. I will let you know when it opens and will try it out. Whether this Black Adder is a mini series, a series, or pilot will depend on Andy's patience - unless of course it is an instant hit!

In Nana Plaza, Rainbow 3 has re-opened after a refit leaving just Rainbow 2 to be the final Rainbow in the series to get a makeover. The plan seems to have worked well and it has clearly elevated the Rainbows to top Nana Plaza group, and Rainbow 4 must have the biggest turnover in the Plaza. It will be interesting to see how they do when all four bars are open after the completion of the work on R2.
Playskool has reacted to it's declining status and now has a lot more girls and extended exposure of them. I was in the other night and there was quite a buzz. Definitely my favourite Plaza bar when it is on song but mainly because of the music which creates that certain atmosphere.
Angelwitch has bought Secrets, the bar next door. There is no intention to make major changes to the public areas of Angelwitch. There will be a few extra seats but principally the new area is needed as changing rooms, loos and storage. Anybody well-acquainted with the bar will know that it is a wonder of planning that gets the shows dressed on time. Effectively part of the area behind the bar becomes a changing room. I know people who sit at the bar and never look at the stage and see a great deal more than those looking the other way!
Hollywood Strip (top floor) is due to be closed and undergo a major refit. It clearly needs one big time. I am not sure how long it will take, but when it is finished, Big Bill will have no excuses and thus he will be able to prove a point - or not.

The owner of Spicy Girls, Midnight and Dejavu has managed to not only alienate every other bar owner in Soi Cowboy but has insulted a senior policeman. As I reported last week when the newly open Dejavu was caught showing, a 30-day ban was expected. In an attempt to circumvent that outcome, he got hold of a senior cop and agreed to pay a large sum. Unfortunately this Camel Jockey has never been taught about manner and face. When he met the said officer he threw the money on the table and told him he could now F.. off. That was when the 30-day ban was not only not rescinded, but increased to 60 days. Of course the real problem for him is the Old Bill now have it in for him big time. I would not be at all surprised if both Midnight and Spicy Girls are not caught on some irregularity in the next 60 days and closed. In fact I think I will avoid both places, as I have no wish to be caught up in a police raid.
This guy's purchase of Midnight has destroyed one of the most interesting gogos in the soi. The action is now very staid, the prices have all gone up and the staff look miserable - as well they might!

Remember that July 21 and 22 (Thursday and Friday) are Buddha days and the bars will be closed fro the end of Lent. For the alcohol-challenged, major hotels and restaurants will usually serve product to relieve the problem. The Landmark is always packed on such days full of good Buddhists hiding from him in the basement.

The following Tuesday July 26th is Amaretto Pete's birthday at Sheba's in Soi Cowboy. It will be a don’t-miss-this event if it is anything like the last birthday party I went to there. Buy the poor old boy an Amaretto as he has got the best part of a 500 bottles to drink after a clever wholesaler realizing he had over-estimated demand, made an offer Amaretto “I like a deal" Pete could not refuse. Expect a new house cocktail at the No Name Group and guess the main ingredient!

On Monday August 8th. the Bangkok Wine Society will host a tasting of Thai wines at Livingstone's on Soi 33. For full information see the wine society web site.

We have produced some new polo shirts. They have the Baron’s logo (Horse image + never knowingly PC) on the front pocket. On the back there are 3 versions: one plain, one says: Foxes were made for hunting and the other says: Women should be pampered not heard. You can see a photo and they are on sale on line at Asiabugle.com (shop).

Sam Worthington went to Aldo’s this week. For review. And to V9 at the Sofitel, Silom Road. For review
From the Baron www.BaronBonk.com

Security and Terrorism.

Terrorism is once again at the forefront of all our minds as the incident waiting to happen happened. Almost universally it was thought inevitable that at some stage a terrorist organization would target the London underground, and after 9/11 we knew who it would probably be. It is reported that Big Ben was on the hit list for 9/11, but time differences screwed the plan up. Since then several plots against the UK have been foiled. It is predictable that more bombs will go off in other cities and towns around the world.
From a Daily Telegraph leader:
It is difficult for most people who live in tolerant, liberal, secular societies to realise how utterly devoted al-Qaeda's adherents are to their alien vision of the world. Those fanatics believe - as Osama bin Laden himself has stressed - that they have a God-given duty to "kill unbelievers". They are not interested in compromise and negotiation. As one Islamic terrorist has said: "We are not trying to exact concessions from you. We are trying to destroy you."
..//...
That is why it is also a mistake to believe that fundamentalist-inspired terrorism can be stopped if only we address its "causes". Those causes are, it is frequently asserted, poverty and political disenfranchisement.
It simply is not true, however, that poverty is an incubator of terrorism, or that terrorists come from backgrounds that mean the only opportunities open to them are the ones which involve violence. The terrorists who hijacked passenger jets on 9/11 were not poor.
Ziad Jarrah, one of the hijackers, came from a wealthy Lebanese family which had him educated privately in a Christian rather than a Muslim school because they thought the education was superior. Mohammed Attah, who led the operation, was also born to a wealthy family in Egypt and was sent to Germany to gain a PhD.
I do not necessarily agree with all of that, but it makes the point that there is no simple solution - it is not Iraq, it is not poverty- it is something most of us do not understand. The so-called civilized world had a similar attitude during the Inquisition.
With that in mind, we are going to just have to live with terrorism and it ain't going away tomorrow or even next year. However, the reality is that you will need to be very unlucky to get caught up in a terrorist incident. Millions of people travelled to work via the underground and bus on 7/7 and less than sisty were killed. In Northern Ireland bombs were a daily occurrence and people simply got used to it. But, of course, most people were not affected. If you read the Thai papers, there is a violent incident in the troubled Southern Muslim states of Thailand every day, but life goes on for most people as normal. If it was as unbearable as some would have us believe, then the population would simply pack up and leave as they did in Kosovo (until the NATO intervened) and are now doing so in Darfur. Londoners were described as stoic and no doubt they are - we have seen it all before. But the reality is that there is no other way to behave. And because of this I believe that a bomb in Bangkok will not be as damaging as it would have been a few years ago. Providing it does not do too much damage, and that is now the job of the owners of public places. Anybody who does not think Nana Plaza is not a prime target is in cloud cuckoo land. And if a major incident happened there, I believe those responsible should be made criminally responsible! That is unless they do something incredibly simple like blocking the entrance at night to all vehicles and getting the security guard to look in all containers and bags (not small hand bags) being carried in at night!
And a little extra security in Cowboy would not go amiss either. What happened to the plan to ban all vehicles at night as happened over Songkran?
So we are going to have to work rest and play, holiday and dine, love and die in the knowledge that some bastard is trying to kill us because we do not believe in their god and their idea of the world. So what, the rest of the animal kingdom will say! One of your lot is always trying to screw up our world, or kill us. In other words, we are no longer top of the food chain!

On a lighter note it was very good of Al-Qaeda to organise their attack on July 7th. To we Brits, 9/11 is in fact 11/9. But hey as it happened in the US, we have settled for 9/11. As this is a British event we would have put the day followed by the month and that would have confused everybody. Thus 7/7 is perfect for all date writers!
NightMarch from Pattaya


Dance Contest and gogo news

Time to Get Iced: On Wednesday night 20 July the Jupiter’s gogo (Pattayaland Soi 2) will be holding a Miss Blue Ice contest, sponsored by the people who brew an amber fluid going by the name Blue Ice; hence the name of the contest. At the time of writing I have no further details, but if past experiences in Planet Rock, the former name of Jupiter’s, are anything to go by then it should be worth sticking your head in.

Contests Made in the Heat of the Night: The popular and usually pretty regular in-house Diamond gogo (Soi Diamond, off Walking Street) dance contests are always well-patronised and the July version will take place on Sunday 24th. The chrome poles will be polished to a spotless lustre in readiness for a 9:30PM start with the ultimate victor pursing five grey notes. Shameless Plug: for those with no idea what to expect a little colour booklet with pictures of previous dance contests, entitled Dance Fever, can be purchased from bookstores such as DK in Soi Post Office and Central Pattaya Road for just 195 baht (or not much more than two drinks in Diamond).

Tale of Three Dens: There are people suggesting this current low season is one of the quietest on record and from pure empirical observation I’d be inclined to say they’re not far off the mark. On a recent very quiet Thursday evening I wandered around Walking Street in my usual aimless fashion (in more civilised countries I’d be arrested either for loitering with intent or vagrancy), starting off in the Champion gogo and then sauntering into The Dollhouse.
Whether the rumours about Champion closing up are true or not, management has managed to recruit a pretty decent crop of chrome pole molesters, especially compared to a few months ago. After about 7:30PM some of the lasses seem to have an urge to disport themselves of all attire bar their boots and with happy hour operational until 9:00PM it’s worth at least a look. Prices during that time are 35 baht for draught amber and 50 baht for all other refreshments.
Across the road in The Dollhouse, with a happy hour also running until 9:00PM, there are plenty of dancing maidens and these too are generally easy on the eye, especially when some of them clearly find the stage a little warm around the region of the chest and find a need to loosen their tops. The sign out front offers ‘all well drinks at 45 baht’, which begs the question, “What price unwell drinks?”.
Sadly, in the case of both dens, low season is biting. In Champion there were less than 10 customers at any one time in the half-hour or so I was there while The Dollhouse fared even worse with no more than six people inside. This is not to say that come 10 or 11PM both places aren’t packed, but at that time of the evening (7:30-9:00PM) you wonder where everyone has gone.
The answer is Happy (and Peppermint, Carousel and a couple of others). After the terminal paucity of bum warmers in Champion and The Dollhouse, the Happy gogo was at least 60 percent full. Their happy hour runs until 9:00PM with almost every libation just 45 baht and, as has always been the case with Happy, the stage is full of generally well-endowed veterans of the chrome pole, most of whom know how to do more than just shuffle. In short, the place has more atmosphere than a lot of other chrome pole palaces and it’s really no surprise to find it almost constantly busy.

A Roll of the Dice: The Soi Diamond area of Walking Street has become the central hub (a term much in favour with the current government) of entertainment involving lasses whose job description involves chrome poles and tiny bikinis. Rumours suggest another venue will be opening its doors in a few weeks in the laneway leading to Pratamnak Road. To be called the Casino Club it will feature table and stage dancers of the style seen in Thai-frequented places like Hollywood Disco (off South Pattaya Road) and X-Zyte (Third Road). The aim of the new place is to attract the overflow from nightclubs such as Lucifer’s (Walking Street) and appeal to both Thais as well as foreigners.

More Erections: As one beer booze bar complex succumbs to a lack of custom or the developers bulldozers, you can bet another row of boozers will be opening elsewhere. Down along re-developed Soi 6/1 there is construction that looks suspiciously like it will finish up being a series of beer bars, as opposed to a set of gazebos without a view, and a set of a six or so beer bars are just about completed behind the New Plaza structure (opposite Soi 8 on Second Road). Will there be a rush by the desperate-to-stay-here brigade to purchase their own piece of paradise and make a small fortune? Given past experience the queues will probably start at Beach Road.

The Word for Tonight is ‘Cellulite’: Although mindful that once away from the fleshpots of Walking Street any judgement of an gogo should be tempered with the knowledge one is looking at the second division, there are times when a Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Customers’ Eyesight would not go astray. One such example is the Hot & Cold chrome pole palace (Soi Post Office), which has been going successfully for many years, but on my last visit I thought I’d wandered into an anti-cellulite clinic. It is just possible- if you believe in reincarnation- that some of the chrome pole huggers could well have posed as the subject’s for William Hogarth’s painting Harlot’s Progress back in 1732. I wanted to ask one lady if she enjoyed horse riding, but thought she might take this as some kind of invitation; I have more respect for horses. Mind you, the damsels are a friendly lot many of who wander about the den in search of missing bikini tops.
The music is quite different from any other den in town, both in terms of material played (bubblegum from the 1960s and 70s) and decibel level (low to the point of almost inaudible). It’s a strange mix. Libations are reasonable with draught amber fluid and lolly water sensible at 60 baht, so it’s no surprise there’s a fairly regular influx of customers. An inspection of the upstairs facilities for purposes involving horizontal activities costs 300 baht while the damsel performing the guided tour leaves her ‘tip’ up to you in most cases.

Not Just Rocking in the Afternoon: Down the road apiece from Hot & Cold is the Far East Rock gogo which, with its cousin Club Nevada across the soi, regarded as an ideal afternoon place to whet the whistle. Even late into the evening Far East Rock can provide an interlude of interesting entertainment with plenty of passable damsels cavorting about the stage in various stages of (un)dress. It’s better than I’ve seen it in a long time with good music and draught amber at 50 baht. The major negative is in the pricing of lolly water at 80 baht, or 60 percent more than amber nectar. One day somebody will be able to have a clear and rational explanation as to why so many boozers charge way over the odds for non-alcoholic libations.

Try This Quick Quiz: You wouldn’t think a round-robin competition meant as a way of selling extra booze on quiet nights could engender much in the way of controversy, but in recent times a number of the teams involved in the Wednesday evening Quiz have expressed dissatisfaction with the quizmaster. This growing disquiet was based on the type of questions being posed: obscure to the point of being totally ridiculous. When criticised for this, the quizmaster petulantly decided to set a series of questions so easy the average British politician would have been able to score highly.
The final straw came when the quizmaster took over the role of adjudicating on appeals made against the answers to his questions. A classic example being an appeal by Fawlty Towers (Soi 7) over the question, ‘Where in the UK are the Cullin Hills?’ They answered ‘Scotland’ but were marked wrong, as the answer required was the Isle of Skye. For the geographically-challenged- including yours truly- my encyclopaedia says the Isle of Skye is ‘an island of northwest Scotland in the Inner Hebrides’. Therefore, if the Cullin Hills are on the Isle of Skye and the Isle of Skye is in Scotland and Scotland is in the UK, the answer by Fawlty Towers is, surely, correct and the appeal should have been upheld. The quizmaster/judge claimed Scotland was ‘far too broad and does not construe with the nature of the question. All the other teams that knew the Hills…put the correct answer of the Isle of Skye.’ In other words, teams must now not only listen to the question but be clairvoyant and ‘construe…the nature of the question.’
There is talk of rotating quiz setters with a pool of willing participants compiling the questions each week. At least this would give a differing slant to the series. Being a quizmaster is an ultimately thankless task. Make the questions too hard and people become frustrated and don’t enjoy themselves; make them too easy and you become a laughing stock. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

Piece of Pith: Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
Prowler In Phuket


Patong Gogos again as PC thoughts fade

Although it is low season, several bars and clubs have given themselves a change in direction to attract what punters there are around. Soi Sea Pearl is closing down for a long term redevelopment and so some bars have already moved to pastures new. The transition of Soi Bangla into a walking street each night has been generally hailed as a success. It is interesting to note that several new A Go Go establishments have opened, so the PC Thought Nazis are not having it all their own way. Down in Sea Dragon there are several places where "Tiger Shows" happen each night.
One snippet of good news is that the Tuk Tuks in Patong Beach have agreed to change their working practices and do a similar pick up/drop off system as is the fashion in Pattaya. The scheme will hopefully come in to effect in November and the passenger fee will be 20 Baht per trip. There will be several circuits set up and the Tuk Tuks will be painted up to denote their route.

Sukhumvit Road - Patong!!

It was the Horror Show. Then it was Soi Moodies with its Elvis impersonator. Now after extensive renovations this Soi has reopened with the grand title of "Sukhumvit Road" and twenty new bars and a pizza shop have moved in. This area is on Rat U Tit Road only 200 metres from the Rock Hard end of Soi Bangla. Several of the bars have moved up from Soi Sea Pearl.The street is wide and has a high roof. Only the ground floor has been used thus far, but there is a walkway around the second level awaiting more bars. A large disco has been built at the bottom end. The street's music is centrally controlled by a pair of Thai DJs who some times get carried away with the sound of their own voices. They sounded like some demented railway announcer shrieking out train departures. I think this street will become more popular and if the second level comes online, it will give the Tiger complex and Soi Eric a run for their money. They will need to recruit a lot more girls to fill the place and get it going.

G Spot A Go Go:

Steve has converted his G Spot Bar on Soi Sea Dragon into a Go Go bar. The inside has been gutted and more use made of the space. The long bar has gone and been replaced with dancing stations and many mirrors. There are several waitresses who ensure that your glass is never empty and the music is at a pleasant low volume so that you can actually have a conversation without resorting to using semaphore.

Faulty Towers Inn

Same, same, but different. Arnt, the Norwegian partner of four years, has decided to move from the bar trade. His replacement is Simon who originates from the land of seal clubbers and maple leafs (but was lucky enough to move to England where he got a proper education). The handover happened on the June 1 with a big party to say goodbye to Arnt. There are no big changes expected as Simon is another of those Hash House Harrier people who believe that the art of drinking is the only reason to go jogging in the woods. Both he and Scud will not to ruin the place by installing a pool table or dart board and no sports are shown on the telly. They still sell the cheapest pint of Kilkenny in town - only 160 Baht a pint, and they have a great menu.

Dragon A Go Go

This used to be a disco playing very loud Techno music on Soi Bangla adjacent to the Blue Note Bar. Now the owners have converted the rear disco area to a large Go Go. The dancing runway is in the centre, and the seating circles it at various levels. I was told that the owner has employed a dance instructor of the third sex to make the girls move and not just hang on the poles like lethargic gibbons. The shim (she/him) must have done the job because the girls went through some lively moves. The highlight was when seven of them came on stage clad only in very brief black PVC bikinis complete with matching studded dog collars (nice touch) and went through a long dance routine. Drinks were not over priced, but be warned, the music is the loudest in Patong. The beat of the base rattles your lungs and after a while I left for a quite beer elsewhere.

Blue Note Bar

Blue Note on Soi Bangla opposite the Kangaroo Bar has recently installed a band doing live music five nights a week. For a small bar this works quite well as Blue Note is an upstairs open air bar and things don't get too noisy. The band is made up of four Thai guys who play blues and old time classic rock to a reasonable standard. They also interact with the customers which gives the place a friendly atmosphere.
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