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Thread: Who pays?

  1. #1
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    Who pays?

    I’m not currently living in Thailand but I have some good thai friends I’ve known for years so every visit I see them I take us all out for a meal (3 of us and their son) and pay for the meal. After that if we get to catch up again, we pay our own ways.
    I am fine with this but it got me thinking about how it works for foreigners with thai friends who live permanently in thailand. Do people find they end up treating their friends more? Does it seem to be ‘expected’ in any way because they are ‘rich foreigners’ or maybe you know some well off thais who pay for you? 😋

    I do find that instinctively I end up offering to buy drinks and food for thai people I meet on each trip as well. However, obviously if I retired to Thailand I wouldn’t be able to afford to be generous all the time.

    interested in your views, experiences and etiquette.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat armstrong's Avatar
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    Depends I guess. Some of my Thai friends pay the same as the westerners because we know they have good jobs and can afford it, but there's a couple that don't have good jobs so we pretty much shout them drinks between the rest of us.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Becky77 View Post
    I do find that instinctively I end up offering to buy drinks and food for thai people I meet on each trip as well.
    your instinct is wrong, why do you think you owe anyone a meal on a brief encounter?

    edit

    its a Mercan trait

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    For planned get together meals the men usually split the bill.

    If we're traveling or on a weekend away with other Thai families the men usually take turns paying.

    If I'm going out to eat with my family and then others join in, wether passing by or call to see what we're up to, I pay the bill. My Mrs orders so much food another family wont cost me any extra that was was going to cost me in the first place.

    If one of the ladies have had a wee lottery win or some luck playing cards against the others, it's not unusual for them to pay.

    Every now and again someone can write it off on company expenses as 'entertaining potential clients' then it's motherfuckin party time, cancel the rice and get all the mud crabs and monster prawns down here!
    Lang may yer lum reek...

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by malmomike77 View Post
    your instinct is wrong, why do you think you owe anyone a meal on a brief encounter?
    No-one said anything about 'owing' someone anything, Becky is simply over-generous, it seems.




    Quote Originally Posted by Becky77 View Post
    interested in your views, experiences and etiquette.
    Nothing wrong with being generous - you'll curb your generosity once you move here, people will continue to accept and not necessarily reciprocate . . . depends on who they are.

  6. #6
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    Simple rule. Senior person pays.

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    Thailand Expat Backspin's Avatar
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    Welcome MM nic

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    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Becky77 View Post
    Do people find they end up treating their friends more? Does it seem to be ‘expected’ in any way because they are ‘rich foreigners’.
    Why would anyone befriend people or maintain a relationship with someone who thought like that?

    Paying to maintain such a stereotype is nuts, however if genuine friends are struggling it's a thoughtful thing to do at times.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat DrWilly's Avatar
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    Providing the OP is a genuine one...

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    Take it in turns and if they don't take their turn then just don't eat with them. Splitting the bill looks so ridiculous to me. My dad would tell you the oldest or the most senior, if with work colleagues, should pay. We took my dad out for a birthday meal a few weeks ago and he still insists on paying the bill, even told me to sit down and shut up in front of the owner when I attempted to pay.
    One should listen twice as much as one speaks

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonecollector View Post
    even told me to sit down and shut up in front of the owner when I attempted to pay.
    i like him

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    Guest Member S Landreth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeff View Post
    Who pays?
    In the states or Thailand or anywhere else for that matter.

    I/we always pay.

    Knowing in advance that some friends will ask the waiter/waitress for the bill we will ask the waiter/waitress in advance (privately) to give it to us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    Simple rule. Senior person pays.
    yep and I've run ut of old uncles

    When I eat with English in England I always seem to get the tab
    When I eat with Thais I pay
    When I eat alone with wife I pay (to be fair she may leave a few of my satang change, rather than scoop into poachers handbag,
    (so large weighs kgs, with brushes, potions, lotions, a hair set, possibly MH370 and the Blue Diamond for all I know)

    for the waitress provided older and uglier and no competition.

    I'm thinking of a diet or eat at home maybe the only solution
    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I just want the chance to use a bigger porridge bowl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    I'm thinking of a diet or eat at home maybe the only solution
    I threatened this and she said she would leave me.

    It's really tempting but I just love food too much.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    I threatened this and she said she would leave me
    now that could be a bonus side effect I hadn't thought of, I think if she leaves me it'll be with my cat in a sack in the Mekhong

    Only joking considering she's a great cook of Thai and Italian food, in fact I'd leave a tip after dinner but that may encourage bowing, obsequiousness, problem with heavy tips you can never go back, In local Thai places just round up, if silver service I like to choose 10-20% I hate UK themed places where service is included before you rate it.

  16. #16
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    Hadn’t been in that kind of situation with natives. Pre Covid, I dined out with expat housemates and paid my share plus a contribution to tips. They were all ladies with good jobs.
    For my birthday I put on some free beer and organized a massive cheeseboard with fruit and pate choices.

    I pay for that and any social events I’m invited to.
    Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

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