Been traipsin’ round Thailand going on 30 years. Over my time been to about a dozen Thai weddings. All full Thai, me being the only Falang in attendance less my wedding and one other Falang-Thai wedding.
So, have had my share of the old “Sin Sod” debate on forums. A > 95% negative opinions expressed concerning the Thai custom of sin sod.
Now, my practical experiences with the age old “sin sod” custom, run quite opposite of the standard Falang analysis of this Thai custom. Yup, the many, many, many anti-Thai stories of the proverbial Falang ATM Machine, ref.; Isan bargirls, sick buffalos, pickup trucks, crippled and blind elders, new roofs, new houses, etc.
I’ve been fortunate to observe the Thai sin sod custom in full, unadulterated Thai style. Even sitting in on a couple of bride price discussions. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending upon the situation) my Thai lingual skills, although reasonable, can’t follow Thai conversations when the get rapid or deeply detailed, but, I can usually follow the “general” flow of the conversation.
Now, in my experience. The sin sod custom is a deeply ingrained and the most prominent yardstick used for the wedding ceremony.
Recently had a Thai family wedding – one of my grand nieces from Yala marrying a Bangkokian. From a household venue we are hosting our Yala folk at our house during the preparations. Note, the actual preparations and discussions took place over about a six month period. Really over the course of a year from “engagement” to finalization and the wedding itself.
Ceremony happened Saturday past. A good time was had by all.
Some “background” – these are by definition “poor” folk. Grand niece in laws Dad is a Yala fisherman (big bucks in that occupation). The groom Bangkokian family runs a family store – you know, one of them shops you live above and keep the doors open 18 hours a day living off cheap sales of “stuff” to the street walking traffic. So, no Mercedes or tuxes, involved.
To save money the actual Buddhist wedding was held with six/seven other couples all getting hitched together. Single group of nine Monks officiating. Interesting scenario. Large conference room with many attendees (well, eight weddings makes for lots of attendees). Nine Monks, preliminary short chanting (@ 15 minutes) followed by one half-hour of food donations, Monks eat, then the Wedding Chanting followed by the assembly line water blessing. About five minutes per couple getting their water blessing then the long line of guests parading past the Monks for their water blessing. 2-3 hours tops for 16 newlyweds.
Guestimate about 200 observers/guests about twenty professional photographers tripping over each other. Quite a sight. And me, the only Falang.
Anyway, back to the sin sod. My experiences, the amount of “sin sod” is excessive and more than the people can afford. Realize these ore “poor” people. Yet, the sin sod was, in their eyes “massive”. Rings, gold, a bouquet of Gray THB 1k’s and stacks of red hundreds.
The parents of the bride made a most impressive exaggerated show of how heavy the bundle of “sin sod” was as they shouldered the heavy burden to carry it out of the reception hall.
Just a quick note – the sin sod presentation occurred in the late afternoon/early evening at a reception hall where dinner was served to our contingency of about 100 guests.
To reiterate, these are “poor” folk, the bride is a department store clerk as is the groom. The parents are fisherman and a small shop owner. The actual sin sod pays for the wedding, the wedding reception, a good portion of the cash money gets returned to the source (borrowed for show) and, if they are fortunate and planned well, and, “thrifty” they have the start of a housing nest egg.
A few pix.