Value of Bride's Gold vs Sin Sod?

[Ki Ryn]

From what I understand, in a traditional Isaan wedding the groom is to give the bride some item(s) of gold in addition to the sin sod (money, gold, and other valuables) given to the parents.

I have the sin sod figured out, but cannot find any good information on this gold jewlery that the bride gets to keep. My primary question is about the cost. Is the value supposed to be in the same range as the sin sod, more like the cost of an engagement ring, or something else entirely? I'm hoping the bride's gold cost is closer to the engagement ring (like 60k) than the folk's sin sod (300k) as the budget is getting a bit tight.

Any advice, or pointers to good sources of information on this subject, would be much appreciated.

[Pragmatic]

Give feck all. If she won't marry you after telling her that you know why she's with you.



Added edit : https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/read...or-not-to-pay/

[BaitongBoy]

Welcome to the Buffalo Board, Ki Ryn...Look at Shrewed Punter's thread for tips on payments...

Anyhow, good luck with it...

[Aricius Merlinus]

If your budget is already tight, then you are not being responsible with YOUR money by giving that much sin sod and other assorted goodies. If your wife-to-be cares about you at all, then you should tell her the sin sod is going to be reduced to something that fits your budget (zero would be my suggestion, but it's up to you), and she should happily agree with that, as that would show you take your financial situation seriously. If she is not happy with that, I suggest reconsidering your nuptials.

[crackerjack101]

Wot they said.

[Davis Knowlton]

Wot they said plus one. The entire concept is bullshit. If you love each other and want to make a life together, agree to ignore antiquated bullshit and save your money to start your life together.

[taxexile]

a fool and his money and all that.

[David48atTD]

Before the price of gold went a bit crazy, a 1/100,000 ratio was a close estimate.

e.g. ... SinSot = BHT 200,000, then 2 Baht gold.

Everything is up for negotiation.

But NEVER BHT 200,000 and 7 Baht Gold.


Should a SinSot be (potentially) payable is a different question altogether.
.

[John Lennon]

If it is tradition that sin-sod be paid, make up your mind as to whether you can accept that for the long-term. Are the families compatible? Where do you fit in the hierarchy (power)?
How many brothers/sisters/uncles/aunts?
If her family fall on hard times, will you bail them out? If you fall on hard times, will they bail you out?
If you are still a player, then the quantum of sin-sod matters.

[Pragmatic]

My missus hinted that she wanted marriage. I said 'okay but I ain't paying sin sot and I ain't having a ceremony'. She just dragged me to some office in Bkk and 10 minutes later we walk out married. 11 years married, 3 children, and she's never brought it up about me not paying, or that she never had a ceremony to show off in.

[Davis Knowlton]

^^Traditions are made to be broken. Paying a dowry to the family is absurd. It is not a western concept and is in my opinion a scam. If you're a Thai marrying a Thai, perhaps you'll have to pay it in order to retain family harmony. If you're a foreigner you'll always be an outsider at best, an ATM at worst - fuck 'em.

[Davis Knowlton]

My missus hinted that she wanted marriage. I said 'okay but I ain't paying sin sot and I ain't having a ceremony'. She just dragged me to some office in Bkk and 10 minutes later we walk out married. 11 years married, 3 children, and she's never brought it up about me not paying, or that she never had a ceremony to show off in.

My wife is a Filipina. We were married in a civil ceremony in a judge's office - 20 minutes. No Catholic church crap ever mentioned.

That was 26 years ago.

[Pragmatic]

That was 26 years ago.

Good on yous.

[Davis Knowlton]

That was 26 years ago.

Good on yous.

Yep. Married her, not her family or the church, or ancient traditions.

[Nicethaiza]

At issan culture...gold give back to you and your wife but money give to parent...

but everything its about yuor and your have to talk...

[Pragmatic]

If you're a foreigner you'll always be an outsider at best, an ATM at worst - fuck 'em.

Should that be 'you're an ATM at best but will always an outsider'? 'Thailand is for Thais' quote from the Thai anthem.

[nidhogg]

From what I understand, in a traditional Isaan wedding the groom is to give the bride some item(s) of gold in addition to the sin sod (money, gold, and other valuables) given to the parents.

I have the sin sod figured out, but cannot find any good information on this gold jewlery that the bride gets to keep. My primary question is about the cost. Is the value supposed to be in the same range as the sin sod, more like the cost of an engagement ring, or something else entirely? I'm hoping the bride's gold cost is closer to the engagement ring (like 60k) than the folk's sin sod (300k) as the budget is getting a bit tight.

Any advice, or pointers to good sources of information on this subject, would be much appreciated.

Go read this thread:

https://teakdoor.com/the-teakdoor-lou...e-visited.html (Sin Sod re-visited)

There is a lot of discussion about Sin sod, its an emotive subject. But, quite simply, if you are being gouged at a level that you cannot support, time to step back and re-consider.

[Norton]

There is a lot of discussion about Sin sod

Endless discussion. Marry an orphan. Sin sod becomes a non issue.

[nidhogg]

Marry an orphan. Sin sod becomes a non issue.

Indeed. For 10% of the Sin sod, that could probably be arranged.

[Chico]

good one.

or don't get married.

There is a lot of discussion about Sin sod

Endless discussion. Marry an orphan. Sin sod becomes a non issue.

[Chico]

Ki ryn ask your bride to be what happens to sin sod after the ceremony,it has a lot to do with face.

[crackerjack101]

My missus hinted that she wanted marriage. I said 'okay but I ain't paying sin sot and I ain't having a ceremony'. She just dragged me to some office in Bkk and 10 minutes later we walk out married. 11 years married, 3 children, and she's never brought it up about me not paying, or that she never had a ceremony to show off in.

About the same here but no kids.

[Neverna]

Before the price of gold went a bit crazy, a 1/100,000 ratio was a close estimate.

e.g. ... SinSot = BHT 200,000, then 2 Baht gold.

That sounds about right.

Everything is up for negotiation.

Indeed it is. And it the most important thing. There is no fixed figure.

[Pragmatic]

Friend of the wife, not a bad looker, seems to know what she wants in a farang, which she hasn't yet got. She wants 80,000 a month. Any less she won't entertain. They're dreamers.

[crackerjack101]

She wants 80,000 a month. Any less she won't entertain. They're dreamers.

Sounds like a total nut who'll end up old, lonely and bitter.