Isaan Traditional Wedding and costs

[liveinlos]

A few years after the fact, and after moving back to the USA, my wife was yearning for a traditional Isaan wedding. Due to the prosperity at being gamefully employed in the USA, I readily agreed.

When planning an Isaan wedding, the first thing to do is throw all logical plans out the window as soon as the relatives arrive.

We had decided on tables for 200 people, which meant 4 large tents

A large stage was set up with the Thai customary 50 foot high pile of speakers you can hear in the next country

A couple of the local lady boys run the wedding shop and showed up with a truck full of cinderella type wedding gowns which was an event in itself and pure joy for my wife and all the ladies

My only brother in law was a huge help getting the tents and stage setup, while the father in law was hell-bent drunk entertaining all his family from all over Thailand. (More on this later)

There was a storage area down the road from the temple where you can rent all the plates, bowls, glasses, silverware, pots and pans, tables, chairs etc for the cooking. This is a fixed price of 1400 thb no matter how much you take. Everything is inventoried before you leave

My brother in law and his friends drove his 2 wheel Kabota and wagon over and picked everything up.

4 tents and the stage were set up quite quickly as my brother in law has quite a few friends there that all pitched in to help.

The wedding clothes were picked out and fitted. The ladyboys also provided all the flowers, wedding sign, silk backdrop, ceremonial tables etc and did a hell of a job setting it all up. Cost was around 20,000 for all of this (renting)

2 huge pigs, over 120K each were ordered as well as fish.

At 2:00 AM we all woke up and drove to the next town to get all the vegetables at a fresh outdoor market that opens up at midnight. I would guess we spent about 10,000 there on vegetables, and another 10,000 on more cases of beer, thai whiskey etc. for all the ladies doing the cooking.

With a whole pack of Thai ladies this still took at least 3.5 or more hours to buy everything needed to feed 200 people

pigs cost 17,000 baht for 2, 30 fish (1.5k each) was another 3,000 baht delivered

We rented the tables and chairs for the dinner from a gal in Khon Kaen, who delivered 25 tables and 200 chairs with white and pink table cloths, and the white chair slips with gold ribbons. Looked very nice and this was only 3,000 baht

While all of this was going on, father in law managed to rack up 10,000 baht buying local whiskey and other things we were not aware of

Invitation cards were printed, addressed and set out to 200 people. This cost around 4,000 baht

Family started arriving from everywhere and they set up all the grills to cook the fish and pork. There were 14 people cooking, cleaning, serving and washing and returning all the dishes to the temple for a cost of 7,000 baht

Each table was set up with a box of whiskey, a bottle of Thai whiskey, mixer, 1.5L of coke, fanta and water. For 25 tables I think this came out to about 10,000 baht

We hired a local guy my brother in law knew to handle the entertainment and we had 5 local Thai singers and 6 super hot coyote dancers. This cost was only 8,000 thb

We had arranged the tents in a U shape so the whole area in front of the stage was open and as customary, everyone got shit faced, out there dancing and howling at the moon! A most enjoyable time.

When the wedding day came, all the food was cooking in full. The lady boy makeup artists arrived to do the wife and the wifes bridesmaids

During this timeframe, my father in law was shitfaced and caught stealing money from the cards in the card box that were meant for my wife. When the old ladies confronted him, he tried to blame it on his son, who was no where around when that happened. My father in law finally admitted to taking the money because he didn't want anyone else to steal it?????

He also broke into the stash of whiskey meant for the tables and we came up a few bottles short and had to replace at the last minute.

I said no thanks to the makeup and had two of my sons friends serve as the grooms-men

When it was time, the whole village gets together and the groom has to walk to the brides house, carrying the gold gifts, sin sod etc that I chose to give. Many people have their own opinions on this and I did what I was 100% happy in doing

We got to my wifes house and had to give some envelopes of money to the 2 ladies keeping the gate, which allowed me to proceed to have my feet washed, another envelope, then to the entryway to the house. 2 more ladies to pay off and inside I went.

Being this is rural, super poor Isaan, it must have been 40 c inside that cement block house. Super uncomfortable in a suit!

My wife soon joined me and I presented her with the sin sod tray, of which she approved and presented to my father in law. The tray was taking away and all the money counted in front of everyone and spread out on a sheet (200,000)

After that, we exchanged gold rings, and then I had to place all the gold jewelry on her neck etc.

A hour of traditional talk, then it was people lining up to tie strings on your wrist, pour water in your hands and some give you some baht

I think I came out of that with about 8,000 baht and my wife with 2,000 baht

After all the traditional stuff was over a coin was placed in my wifes mouth who had to kiss me and pass the coin for good luck

We were then taken to the ceremonial bed, where about 8 grandma's received envelopes with money.

It was then on to the tents, to greet each table of guests individually and many gave more baht.

Once that was finished my wife and I were called to the stage, there was a Thai Emcee and an English speaking Emcee and we had to tell how we met, why we love each other etc.

My wife, who is very shy, and never spoken in front of this many people, delivered such a heart felt speech, she honestly had the whole place in tears, including me.

After that the dinner was served, and the party started.

As customary in Isaan, people never know when to stop drinking until they pass out, which was the case. By the time the party started, the crowd had swelled to an additional 300 plus people standing outside the tents on the street watching the singers and dancers.

Long into the night, it appeared lots of food would go to waste so we started giving away all the food, fanta, etc to the kids and poor that were gathered around. Pretty good thing to do and experience as I remember one little girl with a bottle of Fanta as happy as she could be.

We stayed the night in a nearby resort, use the word resort lightly, where my wife had the bag of sin sod money and all the invitation cards. (Father in law had passed out stone cold drunk) so my wife took all the sin sod money

Between the cash given at the ceremony and the cards, there was around 25,000 which is a huge amount for that poor of an area and our poor family

I donated the 25,000 to my brother in law, as without his help, this never would have happened.

My wifes grandfather is still working and going strong at 90 years old, the old guy actually asked me if I had any Viagra I could give him which was a real hoot when I told my wife.

Amazing all the beautiful cousins, friends etc. that showed up. Lots of good looking gals in my wife's extended family

All in all, not counting the sin sod and gold, the bill was around 100,000 to 120,00 baht

Not bad and I was more than happy to have the experience of going through this and meeting all the relatives as my wife has a huge, huge family.

We are going back to the USA, but first, we donated everything in our western style house to my father in law, including all the furniture, computers, flat screen tvs, appliances, tools, motorbikes, etc., etc. as we do not think we will return anytime soon

Still love the rural part of Isaan, just no realistic way to give my family a future here and their best bet is being in the USA, getting a good education and preparing themselves for a future.

It was an experience well worth the price and something my wife nor I will ever forget.

[nigelandjan]

Brilliant mate ! a great read well done

Couldn't agree more about living there in that kind of area , not for me either not now not ever .

Bloody funny bits in there to thanks for taking the time to write that lot .

BTW did you pass grandad a blue one ?

[jamescollister]

Been there, done that, not on such a grand scale though.
Whole weddings on Youtube, but unlike you, we came back to live, still sitting at the same table. Jim

[BaitongBoy]

Great story, liveinlos...Some wonderful moments there...Thanks muchly for sharing this with TeakDoor...

Hope you continue to have a happy marriage...

[Dillinger]

Thai customary 50 foot high pile of speakers you can hear in the next country

My only bother in law

i thought you may have made a couple of typos there, I guess not

Here's wishing you many happily wed years in the States

[sabang]

When planning an Isaan wedding, the first thing to do is through all logical plans out the window as soon as the relatives arrive.

When 'planning' an Isaan wedding- don't! Give them a budget (and quietly add 10-15% for, y'know 'ancillaries', while swearing they have to stick to budget.) that's what I did, cost around 15K, quite happy with the results, considering I did absolutely nothing. That included a band, cow, lotsa booze- the usual stuff.
The costs are totally subjective, and really up to you- it comes down to how big a bash you want to throw, and naturally family will want you to throw plenty, for face reasons and all that. In reality, you can do it for a lot less than 10K.

just no realistic way to give my family a future here and there best bet is being in the USA.

That is a very ethnocentric viewpoint though- out here in the moo ban, few people I know would want to move west if you dangled the carrot- but you're welcome to move here, falang. One girl went to visit her 'BFF' in northern england earlier this year, just hated it- the food, the weather, the drabness ('everyone wear grey'), the unsmiling faces. She even found the few thai she met there unfriendly! They're no longer BFF. There are some ( only a few) village natives living O/S though, guess it varies with the individual.

[liveinlos]

Been there, done that, not on such a grand scale though.
Whole weddings on Youtube, but unlike you, we came back to live, still sitting at the same table. Jim

Jim

I watched your wedding videos on Youtube and was very prepared. Thanks for all the effort to post your videos

[stickmansucks]

Living in USA juste because you think it's better to have a family is a crime.

[thaimeme]

When planning an Isaan wedding, the first thing to do is through all logical plans out the window as soon as the relatives arrive.

When 'planning' an Isaan wedding- don't! Give them a budget (and quietly add 10-15% for, y'know 'ancillaries', while swearing they have to stick to budget.) that's what I did, cost around 15K, quite happy with the results, considering I did absolutely nothing. That included a band, cow, lotsa booze- the usual stuff.
The costs are totally subjective, and really up to you- it comes down to how big a bash you want to throw, and naturally family will want you to throw plenty, for face reasons and all that. In reality, you can do it for a lot less than 10K.

just no realistic way to give my family a future here and there best bet is being in the USA.

That is a very ethnocentric viewpoint though- out here in the moo ban, few people I know would want to move west if you dangled the carrot- but you're welcome to move here, falang. One girl went to visit her 'BFF' in northern england earlier this year, just hated it- the food, the weather, the drabness ('everyone wear grey'), the unsmiling faces. She even found the few thai she met there unfriendly! They're no longer BFF. There are some ( only a few) village natives living O/S though, guess it varies with the individual.

Well said and reasoned, Sabang...

[Necron99]

No pics?
Of all these good looking girls?

Glad you had fun, I'd rather slit my wrists than go through all that.

[thaimeme]

No pics?
Of all these good looking girls?

Glad you had fun, I'd rather slit my wrists than go through all that.

Yeah....a bit excessive.
Understand the tradition, honour, and image thing.

Yet, it's just a wedding [again]. Keep it humble.

[Kurgen]

the beautiful cousins, friends etc. that showed up. Lots of good looking gals in my wife's extended family

I've always loved wedding pics

[MeMock]

Great OP.

I spent 100k on mine which included a cow and two pigs. Only a small amount of booze as the family and most friends aren't drinkers.

No need for tents and chairs and cutlery and bands etc. Started at 6am and was all over by 10am!

[DBell]

I think we spent 10k.

About 10 people including us and only made up of our direct family members and best friends here.

Lot's of great food and lots of Black Label.

Was great.

[jamescollister]

Think I paid more for the joint kids/factory and the evil farang blessing, 15 monks, twice, afternoon and next morning. 2 day piss up, plus food.
Food left over, first day, all goes, next day re supply.
Thai way, seen locals spending big time on weddings, deaths, wife's Aunt spent over 100,000 Baht on a party or her dead parents, dead 20 years.
Go figure. Jim

[thaimeme]

Think I paid more for the joint kids/factory and the evil farang blessing, 15 monks, twice, afternoon and next morning. 2 day piss up, plus food.
Food left over, first day, all goes, next day re supply.
Thai way, seen locals spending big time on weddings, deaths, wife's Aunt spent over 100,000 Baht on a party or her dead parents, dead 20 years.
Go figure. Jim

Taking out loans for excessive tamboon or celebratory expenses is more common than not - as most everyday Thais don't have this cash around.

As it's about image and face saving shit...

And they wonder why they're always in debt.

[beerlaodrinker]

That was a ripper yarn mate, sounds like you got of lightly, Your father in law sounds like an absolute scoundrel though, why donate all your stuff to the fucker when he was clearly taking the piss(literally to) should of been your wife's (His daughters) happiest day, slippery Knut I reckon. Anyway now that you know he's a Knut you can safely ignore the fucker, The Grandad sounds like a good bloke though

[thaimeme]

That was a ripper yarn mate, sounds like you got of lightly, Your father in law sounds like an absolute scoundrel though, why donate all your stuff to the fucker when he was clearly taking the piss(literally to) should of been your wife's (His daughters) happiest day, slippery Knut I reckon. Anyway now that you know he's a Knut you can safely ignore the fucker, The Grandad sounds like a good bloke though

More puzzling, might be why bother building a house, collecting assets, engaging in a local grand wedding, blah blah - when there is no intention to living here.

The extended family do cherish the day when Farang comes into their lives.

[terry57]

Really great story but there's no way on earth I'd go through that bolliks.

As far as the old boy trying to steal your money goes, that is down right evil shit.

I would of given him sweet fuk all except a solid kick in the nuts.

[terry57]

The extended family do cherish the day when Farang comes into their lives.

What makes me laugh is this guy pays sin sot to the old boy and then the old boy comes in for another crack stealing more money.

Then the guy rewards the old boy by giving him all his belongings.

Should of donated it to the local orphanage or school not give it to the thieving old boy.

Jesus, no wonder Thais consider Farang " Ting Tong "

[thaimeme]

The extended family do cherish the day when Farang comes into their lives.

What makes me laugh is this guy pays sin sot to the old boy and then the old boy comes in for another crack stealing more money.

Then the guy rewards the old boy by giving him all his belongings.

Should of donated it to the local orphanage or school not give it to the thieving old boy.

Jesus, no wonder Thais consider Farang " Ting Tong "

If he [the OP] didn't realize what was going on, surely his good wife did - yet, didn't speak up questioning the family's [Father] intent.
Her responsibility is to protect the naïve Farang - her husband.

Unabiding loyalty to Papa, and especially Mama, comes first.
Farang receives the leftover loyalties.

[bowie]

Liveinlos:

Congratulations, truly a candidate for the wedding of the century in Isaan. You could not have provided a better ceremony.

In my case, 20 years past it was Bangkok proper. I gave my wife 250k baht, what I could afford (approximately half the cost of an American wedding). Her, her girlfriends, her sisters and the family acquaintances assembled a two ceremony day, morning was a complete Thai traditional wedding ceremony including nine Monks chanting and all the gift giving and exchanging. The gold, the diamond ring, the sin sod (cash bouquet), the wedding gifts to the guests. Evening was a western style reception at a fancy hotel with dinner and Thai professional singers and dancers.

My only function was to show up (although it was the longest day of my life). My wife could not have been happier. Nor could my wife's family. As was your ceremony, a wedding befitting the event of a local girl marrying a foreigner. I have been treated like a king by my extended Thai family ever since the ceremony. Expensive is a relative term and the ongoing debates concerning sin sod, gifts and gold never take into account the benefit of providing the “Thai Tradition” to your family. I would not change a thing.

I salute you.

[jamescollister]

Guys happy, good for him, seems he can afford it, no problem. Seen western weddings go over the mil dollar mark, it's only money, if you have got it.

Divorce costs more, luckily have no money, so can't afford divorce, so will have to stay married. Jim

[nigelandjan]

You can afford it Jim ^ as half of nothing is nothing


Just as an aside I have often wondered how the Issan type divorces pan out

i.e. I would say 99% of the Issanites come into the partnership with nothing but themselves , do they walk out a few years down the line with 50% of what the farang brought in at the start ?

[wasabi]

All Women have this Fairy tale dream, to be married, in grand style.
So her dream came true, and their is nothing like Isaan hospitality.