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  1. #1
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    How to deal with a grumpy, old Thai neighbor?

    A few months ago we moved into a new rental home. It's packed in tight with neighbors in small homes on both sides, one of them quiet as a church mouse and we never see them, the other a grumpy old Thai man. I believe he is in his 70s.

    We have a couple ongoing issues with the old timer:

    1) He feeds the birds everyday. Not a big deal usually, but he does so in front of our house, not his. Birds are smart, they know where to get food and they return day in and day out, usually sitting on our gate, fence and rooftop waiting for their food. We have bird crap EVERYWHERE because of this. My GF has asked him, I have asked him, and again, and again, but he just refuses to feed them in front of his house. This problem leads to problem #2.

    2) Our house is slightly higher than those around us, so when we have to wash the crap off of everything in our short driveway, it runs down, into the street, and directly... in front of his house. :-) The guy goes bananas when this happens, screaming and carrying on about everyone who drives by will dirty their cars and bikes. Nothing about a problem with his house. He cares for everyone else who may get a splash during the 20 minutes it is wet. We live at the end of the street so it's not a high traffic area. At best we see 4 or 5 vehicles a day when people return home from work. We've explained to him multiple times that we have to wash our property because he feeds the birds. In one ear and out the other.

    3) We have since caught him putting dog poo in front of our gate more than once. We have a clear view of the surrounding street and have caught him picking up doo elsewhere and dropping it in front of our house. Not a big deal, but it is annoying and adds to the frustration, knowing he is doing all of this to spite us.

    He is an old man. It's not like I'm going to thump him one or anything, but he is getting out of hand and I do need to deal with him somehow. My GF is also fed up. She says she has tried various Thai ways of dealing with him. Nothing works.

    Anyone have any clever ways to deal with such a situation? I'm open to outside the box ideas. He's a real stinker, grumpy and hateful to the core.

  2. #2
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    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dino
    He feeds the birds everyday
    You feed the birds everyday.



    Quote Originally Posted by Dino
    he does so in front of our house
    You do so in front of his house.




    Quote Originally Posted by Dino
    caught him putting dog poo in front of our gate
    Wash it so it ends up outside his house.


    Let off random fireworks near him - when he's not looking.



    Quote Originally Posted by Dino
    we moved into a new rental home
    Rent somewhere else.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post

    Let off random fireworks near him - when he's not looking.
    That gives me an idea. Being Loy Kratong, I can buy LOTS of fire crackers right now. I can throw them into the street every time he goes out to feed the birds. That would be a laugh, and would at least scare the birds away each time.

    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Rent somewhere else.
    We're stuck in this lease for a while longer. Then we'll be moving into our own place.

  4. #4
    I am in Jail

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    Put a contract out on him.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dino
    That gives me an idea. Being Loy Kratong, I can buy LOTS of fire crackers right now. I can throw them into the street every time he goes out to feed the birds. That would be a laugh, and would at least scare the birds away each time.
    that might just make it worse.

    grumpy old men dont change.

    let it go. (ie does it really matter?)

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiejambos View Post
    Put a contract out on him.
    I don't have anyone to pin it on.

  7. #7
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    You can pin it on my grumpy old neighbor that way we kill two birds with
    one stone.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    let it go. (ie does it really matter?)
    Well, considering pigeon and bird poop can carry something like 50 or 60 diseases, and it is literally all over our house, driveway, gate, bikes, yard... yea, it matters.

    I can deal with dog poop, that's kind of funny. And the fact he feeds the birds doesn't bother me. It's the after math of the birds (lots of birds) that is the real issue. It's filthy. They can go crap on his property. I'd rather keep ours crap free. Not too much to ask.

  9. #9
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    Let off a big mutha fucka firework when he's feeding the birds.
    After he drops dead of a heart attack, get one of the assorted dead birds that should also be lying around, and using the claws make random scratching marks on any exposed flesh.
    Death by over eager hungry birds trying to get to his food. Easy.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiejambos View Post
    You can pin it on my grumpy old neighbor that way we kill two birds with
    one stone.
    I'm going to have my people call your people.

  11. #11
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    Sorted

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by palexxxx View Post
    Death by over eager hungry birds trying to get to his food. Easy.
    I suppose I could train 20 or so attack birds. Mix them in with the flock, have them attack anyone with a walking stick and a bag of rice.

  13. #13
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    ^ now your thinkin'

  14. #14
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    Turn the hose on and water the street as he's feeding the birds.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Buy him a nice present. Give it to him and say sorry you are having problems and you want to be a good neighbor. Wait and see if anything changes.

  16. #16
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    As far as the dog poo goes, I'm reminded of an old prank involving placing a bag of dog poo at someone's door, lighting it on fire, ringing the doorbell and running away as they come out to stomp out the fire.

  17. #17
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dino
    and it is literally all over our house, driveway, gate, bikes, yard... yea, it matters.
    If it is that dirty then hand the problem to the Landlord.
    It's in his interest to sort it out

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobforest View Post
    Turn the hose on and water the street as he's feeding the birds.
    That's not a bad idea. Train him like a dog. Feeding birds = wet.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    Buy him a nice present. Give it to him and say sorry you are having problems and you want to be a good neighbor. Wait and see if anything changes.
    My GF gave him food twice.

    Now that I think about it, maybe that's why he does it. lol ;-)

    Quote Originally Posted by stevefarang View Post
    As far as the dog poo goes, I'm reminded of an old prank involving placing a bag of dog poo at someone's door, lighting it on fire, ringing the doorbell and running away as they come out to stomp out the fire.
    Guilty as charged. Perhaps this is karma coming back to get me for doing that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dino
    and it is literally all over our house, driveway, gate, bikes, yard... yea, it matters.
    If it is that dirty then hand the problem to the Landlord.
    It's in his interest to sort it out
    It really is filthy. The landlord has been here a few times, the neighbor won't speak to him when he comes. Instead he goes inside and doesn't open his door. He's like a big kid who knows he's in trouble. There is a good chance his brain is toast. The landlord says to ignore him and that all the neighbors hate him, but we can't ignore the poop. We're currently trying to get the landlord to build a carport for us to park under and shield the driveway a bit. Not a perfect solution, but it beats nothing.

  20. #20
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    No no cut his bollacks off and feed them to the birds.
    That will put a stop to his shenanigans.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dino View Post
    We're currently trying to get the landlord to build a carport for us to park under and shield the driveway a bit. Not a perfect solution, but it beats nothing.
    The shit full birds will then sit on your car to rest and roost on your carport beams.

    This is the problem at my house when the dogs are fed outside.

  22. #22
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    If, after lobbing a few mortars at him and the birds hasn't killed him, then .....
    move on to stage 2,
    Light up one of those terra cotta bowling balls and roll it into his house while he's feeding the birds.

  23. #23
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    seriously though, if you lob a few fireworks out when the birds are in the street (but not when the neighbour is there), the birds will get the idea that they are no longer welcome.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiejambos View Post


    Put a contract out on him.
    Yes, my thoughts exactly.

    But then again since he is an old fella, maybe just break one leg and one arm, that will slow him down a tad.

  25. #25
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    alternatively, you could thank him for looking after all the starving homeless birds in your neighbourhood,
    and.... let him know that you are going to follow his example by placing several kilos of cat food on his roof at night time.

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