Thread: Quick Jokes

The missus winked at me and said "let's play Doctors and Nurses".

So I put her on a trolley in the hall and didn't speak to her for two days.

Just been thinking as I get older I only really need three shops, Dolland & Aitcheson Opticians, Boots and Greggs. That's right my life now is specs, drugs and sausage rolls.

Originally Posted by Joe 90

Just been thinking as I get older I only really need three shops, Dolland & Aitcheson Opticians, Boots and Greggs. That's right my life now is specs, drugs and sausage rolls.

What about the reduced section in Morrisons?

I was walking down the road this morning and first got hit by a violin then a clarinet and then a piano...

I think it's an orchestrated attack!

When I was sent to jail, I was pinned down to a table and viciously fucked up the arse.

I thought to myself "Uncle Brian takes Monopoly a bit seriously".

Just read that statistics show that the average couple has sex 89 times a year. Looks like I am in for a wild 5 days......

When I went bald I kept my comb. I just can't part with it.