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Thread: Dirty Jokes.

  1. #1
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Dirty Jokes.

    This came across my facebook page today and I had to share it, A compilation of jokes said to moms and dads and friends, Enjoy.


  2. #2
    Thailand Expat helge's Avatar
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    That was fun

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Why don't women always orgasm during sex?

  4. #4
    Elite Mumbler
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    Quote Originally Posted by havnfun View Post
    Why don't women always orgasm during sex?
    Because they're having sex with you?

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    That's what ya missus said.

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    Elite Mumbler
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    Quote Originally Posted by havnfun View Post
    That's what ya missus said.
    Judging by your posting times, I would doubt you and your missus are ever in bed together.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pickel View Post
    Judging by your posting times, I would doubt you and your missus are ever in bed together.
    Stepped in that didn ya.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Why do Aussie men cum so quickly?

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by havnfun View Post
    Why do Aussie men cum so quickly?
    Cause they can't wait to get back to the pub and tell their mates.
    Last edited by havnfun; 04-09-2021 at 07:29 AM.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Question - What is the bird of prey?
    Answer is usually - The Eagle.
    Then ask,
    Question - What is the bird of peace?
    Answer is usually - The Dove.
    Then ask,
    Question - What is the bird of Love?
    Answer is - The Swallow.

  11. #11
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    Come Christmas time the mailman is knocking on doors to deliver the mail and collect his Christmas tip.
    Blond opens the door, invites him in, Fucks him good and then gives him a dollar.
    As the mailman is leaving he asks.
    Lady , thank you very much for the fuck, but why the dollar,
    Well, says tHe blond, I was talking with my husband yesterday and I said
    The mailman will be coming for his tip, what should I give him?
    and he said " Fuck him, give him a dollar"
    The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    ^
    Little Johnny asked his dad, What's God dad?
    Dad explains, God is in Heaven son, That's where we go up to when we die.
    Little Johnny sais, Oh, daddy, mommy nearly died yesterday.
    Dad sais, what do mean son?
    Well she was on the bed screaming out "Oh God I'm cumming" but it was lucky because the mailman was holding her down.
    Last edited by havnfun; 10-09-2021 at 08:09 PM.

  13. #13
    I am not a cat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckaroo Banzai View Post
    Come Christmas time the mailman is knocking on doors to deliver the mail and collect his Christmas tip.
    Blond opens the door, invites him in, Fucks him good and then gives him a dollar.
    As the mailman is leaving he asks.
    Lady , thank you very much for the fuck, but why the dollar,
    Well, says tHe blond, I was talking with my husband yesterday and I said
    The mailman will be coming for his tip, what should I give him?
    and he said " Fuck him, give him a dollar"
    damn it. That is only half the joke. here is the full one:

    It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
    At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.


    At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.


    When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "But what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Why is the Camel called the 'ship of the desert'?

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    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    ^ Full of.........

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VocalNeal View Post
    ^ Full of.........
    Because its full of Arab seamen.............

    Next one,

    How do you circumcise a whale?

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Why doesn't a women's guts fall out through her vagina?

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    I went to the dentist today, as he was hovering over me with that light in my mouth, he asked "Did you go down on ya missus before you came in?"
    I said "Why? Do I have a pube stuck in my teeth?
    He said "No, youve got shit up ya nose.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat Saint Willy's Avatar
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    Could just rename this thread shit jokes

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat havnfun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saint Willy View Post
    Could just rename this thread shit jokes
    Or Two girls and a cup.

  21. #21
    I am not a cat
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    It is like watching a 12 year old trying to shock his friends. Mind you, unlikely that deeks has any friends....

  22. #22
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    ^ Nasty!!!!!

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by havnfun View Post
    Because its full of Arab seamen.............

    Next one,

    How do you circumcise a whale?
    I don't see the connection.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by VocalNeal View Post
    I don't see the connection.
    Equally unamusing?

    The answer to the whale joke is something about 'four skin divers'. Ho, ho, ho.

  25. #25
    I'm in Jail

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    Why do women always wear tight jeans when the skydive ?




    So they don't whistle on the way down.

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