Dave Smith is on his death bed and knows the end is near.

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in London.

He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be
in place to record his last wishes.
When all is ready he begins to speak:

"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.
My daughter, Sybil, you take the apartments over in the East end.
My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City.
Sarah, my dear wife, please take the residential buildings on the
banks of the Thames .

The nurse and witnesses are blown away. They did not realise the
extent of his holdings.

As Dave slips away, the nurse says to his wife,"Mrs. Smith, my deepest
condolences.
Your husband must have been such a hard-working and wonderful man to
have accumulated all this property"


"Property?", Sarah Smith replies, "The Twat had a window cleaning round."