Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy,
looking like he'd just been run over by a train.

His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,
his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp
" What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

" That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean,
"He couldn't do that to you,
he must have had something in his hand."
" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,
didn't you have something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy.

"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
beauty it was, but useless in a fight."