Thread: Biopsy

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,

"Hello."

"Mrs. Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.
When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a
biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well...
We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.
Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the
other one tested positive for HIV.
We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.Sanders.

"Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The MEDICARE Help desk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.

If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him

Good one

A woman jogging in the park comes across an old man sat on a park bench crying his eyes out. "What's wrong?" she asks him.

"I'm married to a former page three girl, and every morning she wakes me with a blow job and then makes me a delicious cooked breakfast" he sobs.

"What's so bad about that?" she asks.

"Well I get up and go downstairs, she makes me a cup of tea and then goes and gets the papers so I can put a bet on. Then we make sweet, sweet love. Then she cooks me a fabulous gourmet lunch" he whimpers.

"I don't understand. What are you so upset about?" questions the woman.

"Well in the afternoon I go up for a little nap, and she gives me another blow job. Then she cooks me a lovely dinner. We watch a bit of TV, then we go to bed and make love again, in all these wonderful positions I've never tried before, and after that I doze off and go to bed".

"I'm sorry", said the woman, "but that sounds wonderful, why are you crying?".


He says "I can't remember where I live".