Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in
place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to
speak:
a.. "My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.
b.. My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the East End.
c.. My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the
City Centre.
d.. Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential
buildings on the banks of the river."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away, never knowing the
extent of his property holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse
says, "Mrs Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man
to have accumulated all this wealth".

Sarah replies, “Wealth? .... Wealth! The arsehole had a paper round!"