Diary Of A Pommie In Western Australia

**charleyboy** · 17-06-2014, 02:24 PM

August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home.
I love it here.

September 13
Really heating up now.
It got to 31 today.
No problem though.
Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds !!

September 30
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.
Lots of palms and rocks.
No more mowing lawns for me!
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
It's Paradise !

October 10
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit.
Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.

October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed three days off work.
What a dumb thing to do..
Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

October 20
- Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit.
I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat

October 25
- This wind is a bastard
It feels like a giant fucking blow dryer.
And it's hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fucking Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining

October 30
- The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the fucking air conditioner.
House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.
Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4
Finally got the fucking air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.
Stupid repairman.
Fucking thief.

November 8
- If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to fucking throttle him.
Fucking heat!
By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my fucking clothes are soaking fucking wet and I smell like baked cat.
Fucking place is the end of the Earth.

November 9
- Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
I thought my fucking arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my fucking arse.
Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

November 10
-- The Weather report might as well be a fucking recording..
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny, Hot and fucking sunny.
It never fucking changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 fucking months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Fuck!

November 15
- Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fucking place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fucking pool.
The only things that thrive in this fucking hell-hole are the fucking flies
You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

November 20
- Welcome to HELL!
It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I wanted to shove the fucking car up his fucking arse.
Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
Fucking Karratha!
What kind of sick, demented fucking idiot would want to live here!

December 1
- WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
You are fucking kidding me!

.

**bobo746** · 17-06-2014, 03:14 PM

When you cut and paste remember to delete the double up.
Should have put this in your cooking thread,how to fry
my arse
Poms,poofs.

**blue** · 17-06-2014, 04:37 PM

good read

Should have bought a cooling box of wine and hung out with the Aborigines under a nice shady tree .

''No Aborigine ever called me a Pom....''

**charleyboy** · 17-06-2014, 05:06 PM

Cheers. Bobo, I'll edit it!

Thought it was a bit loooooooooooooooooong when I posted it.

**billy the kid** · 17-06-2014, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by charleyboy

What kind of sick, demented fucking idiot would want to live here!

answers on a postcard please.

**Kurgen** · 17-06-2014, 06:51 PM

55555555555555555

Love it.

**Pragmatic** · 17-06-2014, 06:52 PM

What is the difference between yogurt and Australia?
Yogurt has some culture.

A pom, fresh off the plane at Sydney airport, is trying to negotiate Australian customs. Finally, when it's his turn to get his passport stamped, the customs officer starts rattling off the usual questions:
C.O. - How long do you intend to stay?
POM - 1 week.
C.O. - What is the nature of this trip?
POM - Business.
C.O. - Do you have any past criminal convictions?
POM - I didn't think we still needed to!

**nidhogg** · 17-06-2014, 07:55 PM

ǝɯoɥ ƃuıɯoɔ ɯ,ı ˙ǝןoɥʇıɥs ɐ s,ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ

**terry57** · 17-06-2014, 08:15 PM

The funny part about that is its pretty close to the truth especially the prices of the repair man..

Fooking mad it is.

**MeMock** · 17-06-2014, 08:27 PM

And yet there is more money to be made up here then almost anywhere else.

**Breny** · 18-06-2014, 03:05 AM

OP, Leeds lassies, tight skirts stinking of WKD and donner meat. knife fights with the younger generation for fits and giggles. Rain is good , i danced in it last night. Woke up had a fry up at wetherspoons. Would i swap with you? ...In an instant mate.. live for today.

**Breny** · 18-06-2014, 03:12 AM

Originally Posted by Pragmatic

What is the difference between yogurt and Australia?
Yogurt has some culture.

A pom, fresh off the plane at Sydney airport, is trying to negotiate Australian customs. Finally, when it's his turn to get his passport stamped, the customs officer starts rattling off the usual questions:
C.O. - How long do you intend to stay?
POM - 1 week.
C.O. - What is the nature of this trip?
POM - Business.
C.O. - Do you have any past criminal convictions?
POM - I didn't think we still needed to!

Ive done this before but, My best mate was getting married in the blue mountains. I got off the plane into arrivals. The woman behind the desk told me that it would be a £100 fine for the fruit that i had in my onboard bag ( given to me by the airline ).So I ate the fruit in front of her.. I was led to an interview room and left there for about 2 hours. Welcome to OZ. Great place though.

**mingmong** · 18-09-2014, 10:28 PM

Fucking Karratha!

Been working out of there for 6+ years, it,s a $1000 for an Electrician to come repair a GPO on a Ship minimum.

Thing is I always get the flu when I join the Ship, from the Air-con!

**wasabi** · 19-09-2014, 02:58 AM

This is why I enjoy Teakdoor, reading about distant places and wishing you where there, great threads, thanks.

**blue** · 19-09-2014, 03:23 AM

Me too , but I enjoy Teakdoor because I love reading about distant places and feeling glad that I'm not there.

**wasabi** · 24-09-2014, 03:56 AM

I would really enjoy being there with you, we would hit it off like a house on fire.
Well if little Willy confessed , that he was friends with a travelling TD member in the Swiss Alps forum, anything is possible.

Thread: Diary Of A Pommie In Western Australia

Thread Tools

Display

Diary Of A Pommie In Western Australia

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

Posting Permissions