The Night of April 1st










Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?











Little Old Lady:
I am 71 years old.











Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?













Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me..












Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?











Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.











Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?











Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.











Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?











Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.











Defense Attorney:
Why not?











Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.











Defense Attorney:
What happened next?











Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.











Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?











Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.











Defense Attorney:
Why not?











Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!











Defense Attorney:
What happened next?











Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'











Defense Attorney:









Did he take you?













Little Old Lady:

























Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' and ran off .
And that's when I shot him ............. the little bastard.