The Blokes' Cookery Thread

[dirk diggler]

A Blitzkrieg bap?

[Looper]

Tom Yum Soup Bloke Batch

2 litres of water
1 huge onion
2 table spoons of vegetable stock
10 squirts of dark soy sauce
6 squirts of fit sot
2 table spoons of mega hot brand Tom Yum paste
3 table spoons of more fruity but less hot brand Tom Yum Paste
1 table spoon
2 table spoons of chopped garlic (from a jar for extra bloke points)
1 table spoons of chopped ginger (from a jar for extra bloke points)

Simmer for 5 minutes

You now have 3 litres of double concentrate Tom Yum Base

To create the first serving ladle 3 ladles of base into a smaller pot and add equal amount of water to reduce it to edible concentration

Add a handful of frozen peas
Add a tin of kidney beans

I don't bother with prawns as I am mainly interested in the spicy soup for its brain tingling powers

Repeat the serving creation steps each day from the base pot and you should have stupendously hot Tom Yum soup for 10 days

Senorita gave this 2 thumbs up for flavour but bemoaned the lack of prawns so I might keep a bag of frozen prawns in the freezer to chuck a few in for the good lady

[malmomike77]

Tom Yum Kidney Beans

[Looper]

^ I first started doing this 22 years ago after my fledgling trip to LOS

For years I cooked it one pot at a time (no batch)

I also used to put noodles instead of beans and peas

And I used to chop fish sticks (those fake crab flavour stick things) in to give it some seafood credentials

I dropped the crab sticks after about 10 years and went just noodles

Then with age comes responsibility to the upkeep of ones bodily frame so I have migrated to peas+kidney beans - which are actually yummier than noodles once you get used to them

You need something substancey in it to make it a meal, otherwise it is simply a bowl of soup

I might reintroduce prawns (or maybe crab sticks) at the lady's request and give it more authentic tom yum credentials

But really I just crave the nuclear hot spicy soup

It tingles my brain waves which is good for focussing on work

But the batch approach is staying as it is a major logistical improvement

[david44]

I might reintroduce prawns (or maybe crab sticks) at the lady's request

Giving ladies crabs not always welcome

[Joe 90]

It tingles my brain waves which is good for focussing on work

Might have to give that a go

[Mendip]

Add a handful of frozen peas

You can't go wrong with a recipe like this.

[cyrille]

^^Surely the last thing required in your job is 'brain waves'.

[dirk diggler]

I judge a restaurant based on it's Tom Yum alone.

I must admit, I get a bit pissy when they skip the shrooms.

Sometimes I just order Tom Yum Het to get the point across, then they ask if I want any meat with it.

Tom Yum Het Goong normally, but sometimes Tom Yum Het Pla Kapong

I never go Tom Yum Talay, not a fan of squid.

[Joe 90]

^^Surely the last thing required in your job is 'brain waves'.

Putting in car windows on a moving production line surrounded by Scousers is slightly more complicated than singing "Head , shoulder, knees and toes" to a room full of illiterate camel shaggers

[bsnub]

Putting in car windows on a moving production line surrounded by Scousers is slightly more complicated than singing "Head , shoulder, knees and toes" to a room full of illiterate camel shaggers

I would beg to differ.

[Joe 90]

I would beg to differ.

Beg what you want, but your not having any of my beans on toast you fat bastard .

[bsnub]

Beg what you want, but your not having any of my beans on toast you fat bastard .

Thank the gods for that, and thank them again that I never had to work in some dreadful car plant with a bunch of scousers like you.

[Joe 90]

I never had to work

That might require leaving your basement

[Topper]

Putting in car windows on a moving production line surrounded by Scousers is slightly more complicated than singing "Head , shoulder, knees and toes" to a room full of illiterate camel shaggers

With the emphasis on "slightly".

[Joe 90]

With the emphasis on "slightly".

Still a win over Ciz

[Looper]

I might reintroduce prawns (or maybe crab sticks) at the lady's request and give it more authentic tom yum credentials

So I got prawned up down at Woolworths in preparation for Senorita's projected arrival on Thursday as she had been banging on about wanting another crack at this tip top yummo Tom Yum

She then arrives with this box of spicy chicken she has just been cooking and eating with at her friend's place (i.e. she is not hungry) and some papaya

I tried to get an official Indo name for the dish but she was giving only vague clues about chillis, ginger, garlic and onion

But whatever it was it was ball-blastingly good. It was even more nuclear hot than my Tom Yum - serious stomach-still-burning 3 hours later stuff

I did not have any rice handy so I decided to place it on a bed of Mi Goreng

This Mi Goreng comes in packets and can be ready in a few minutes

You boil the water and preheat the bowl then tip the water back in the kettle to reboil and then soak the noodles for 3 minutes

Then drain and add the 2 spice sachets and 3 chilli oil sachets and stir. 2 packs is a great meal in itself and is the bloke-cookery angle on this spicy segue.

But this is one pack as a bed for the Nuclear Chicken

Bonza

Pudding du Jour was Apple Strudel Cock-a-doodle

[Joe 90]

Ruddy hell loops!

I'm impressed with your bowl full of easy peel Satsumas!

[Looper]

^They are from the 5 citrus trees.

I can't really be bothered picking my own fruit I would rather buy it in the supermarket but these oranges make super-sharp tasting orange

They have too many seeds for eating as oranges.

as she had been banging on about wanting another crack at this tip top yummo Tom Yum

Senorita finally popped over for her date with a bowl of Tom Yum and brought another box of nuclear hot chicken for me.

This time accompanied by pre-sauteed-in-garlic runner beans

You can see a distinct lack of prawns in the Tom Yum as I finished them. I didn't know she was coming.

She even brought another 1.5 Kg of barramundi so it looks like FPS is back on the menu shortly

It has only just now occurred to me that I could have put the barramundi in the Tom Yum to give it some seafood credentials

[Looper]

Señorita rocked up to grab the end of the Tom Yum batch with some actual seafood (well OK it was seafood extender but that stuff is actually quite yummy IMHO)

It was the last helping so I was fortunate that she brought a box of her famous Beef Rendang. She leaves it a little moist when she cooks it which I like. A little bit of Rendang gravy to soak into the rice.

After she fell asleep I found she had brought another 2 of the jumbo chicken schnitzels in the food bag, so they had defrosted. So, this means I need to come up with an emergency consumption plan

I think I might need to get a dog as I cannot keep up with the food at the rate she is bringing it in

[Joe 90]

think I might need to get a dog as I cannot keep up with the food at the rate she is bringing it in

She's fattening you up for the kill mate.

[DrWilly]

Put them in the fridge?

[Topper]

I think I might need to get a dog as I cannot keep up with the food at the rate she is bringing it in

The way to a man's heart is ......

[DrWilly]

I’m pretty sure is rentals ain’t after his heart, so to speak.

[Mendip]

I think I might need to get a dog as I cannot keep up with the food at the rate she is bringing it in

Looper, I don't think you need to get a dog.

I've long admired you, your lifestyle and that lovely house you live in.

I am more than happy to come and live with you, for free, and I can be very discreet.

I could help out a bit around the place and all you'd have to do is chuck me a few leftovers once in a while.

If you know what I mean...