Chopsticks at dawn in post-Brexit Britain

**somtamslap** · 30-06-2016, 02:25 PM

Lunchtime is fantastic for several reasons: a) you aren't working, b) you are eating.

Now if there are two things at opposing ends of the Love/Hate spectrum, it's these.

LOVE -------------------------------------------------------------------------------HATE

eating, masturbation, the wire, mother-in-law, the postman, working

Recently however, I've began to get a little bored of my usual midday meals which, when at the office, consist of something ridiculously healthy and therefore bland and borderline putrid - although there's a great deal to be said for a sweet spud smothered in slowly melting feta cheese with a side of avocado and leafy greens garnished with a liberal splash of balsamic. If you know what I mean.

When working at home I doth venture over yonder to my local Wetherspoons and take advantage of one of their daily deals, which follow...

Mexican Monday
Steak Tuesday
Wing-it Wednesday (that's chicken, people)
Curry Thursday
Fish Friday

These have also began to take a decided turn for the mundane - although I'm sure they always were and it's just the fact that I'm eating a full plate of traditional pub grub for less than the fiver which added the mystery flavour.

So yesterday when I stumbled upon a new Thai eatery I reasoned it would be thoroughly fucking rude indeed not to pop in and sample their wares.

I opted for the noodle soup with beef.

It was delicious.

If you look at the picture you'll note that there is simply no way that this photograph could've been taken in Thailand.

1. There's a fork present. I don't think I ever saw a fork in Thailand that didn't look like it had been psychologically assaulted by Uri Geller.

2. The condiment pots are spotless. Well, they were. At the end of that meal they were stippled with a litre of broth.

3. The drinking vessel isn't military issue - and, this is a massive giveaway, it actually has a slice of real life lemon in it. Not lime. Lemon. The fact that it's got any fucking form of citrus in it should be enough of a hint.

4. Perhaps the most significant indicator that this was a dish consumed in the UK, is something not visible in this picture - the price. If I remember rightly the last bowl of noodle soup I ate in Isaan set me back the princely sum of 30baht, or 60 pence.

This was a little bit dearer than that.

Closest guess gets a thumbs up from the great and magnificent Slap :sparkle:

Answers on a post card please.

Or down there \/

**toslti** · 30-06-2016, 02:46 PM

5 quid 50 pence I reckon. I bet the beef was tender as well.

**Dillinger** · 30-06-2016, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

1. There's a fork present. I don't think I ever saw a fork in Thailand that didn't look like it had been psychologically assaulted by Uri Geller.

You've obviously been eating at the wrong establishments

**TheDukeofNewcastle** · 30-06-2016, 03:49 PM

4.99 for the beef soup. No bid on the wotsits.

**stroller** · 30-06-2016, 03:54 PM

3.99 for the soup and 90 Pence for 'extras' (a spoon & a dispenser of toilet paper), which the cheapskate slapper didn't order. He even admits to pouring the soup over the condiments instead of spooning it into his gob just to save the embarrassment of admitting he really needed a spoon.

**baldrick** · 30-06-2016, 04:35 PM

was it served to you by an wrinkled crone with no teeth and a gob full of betel ?

**DrB0b** · 30-06-2016, 04:41 PM

Bowl of noodles I had at a Thai restaurant last week came in at £7.99.

**Dillinger** · 30-06-2016, 04:51 PM

8 quid when you can pick up a pack of these in the UK for 50 pence

**somtamslap** · 30-06-2016, 05:06 PM

Must Bollski sully every square inch of bandwidth with pictures of maize-based snack treats and insufficiently clad dwarfs?

You really are a cad Bollinger.

Guesses so far range from warm to fucking freeezing.

Bob's the closest.

**DrB0b** · 30-06-2016, 05:15 PM

Cheesy Wotsits and Supernoodles? How much weed do you get through in a day, Dillinger?

**baldrick** · 30-06-2016, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Guesses so far range from warm to fucking freeezing.

Bob's the closest.

eh ? 8 pommy pesos and you had to suck off the chef ?

**lom** · 30-06-2016, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Originally Posted by somtamslap

1. There's a fork present. I don't think I ever saw a fork in Thailand that didn't look like it had been psychologically assaulted by Uri Geller.

You've obviously been eating at the wrong establishments

Youv'e got the same brand of cutlery as I have. Takes some time to get a full set for 6 pax. Collectors item..

**Bogon** · 30-06-2016, 05:59 PM

6 Earth Pounds and 79 new pennies for the bowl of bathwater and meat.

**Chittychangchang** · 30-06-2016, 05:59 PM

That dish would be on sale in the wife's restaurant for £9.50

**somtamslap** · 30-06-2016, 06:31 PM

A couple of reasonable guesses there.

One too high, the other too low.

**nidhogg** · 30-06-2016, 07:02 PM

6.99 would be my guess

**Neverna** · 30-06-2016, 07:12 PM

I'll guess 6.45

**ENT** · 30-06-2016, 07:33 PM

7.50, I reckon.

How much was the Singha?

**somtamslap** · 30-06-2016, 07:39 PM

All on the low side. This is Britain people, where it costs in Isaan farmer's annual salary to get a fucking hair cut.

Originally Posted by ENT

How much was the Singha?

Didn't have one. Never did develop a taste for Boonrawd's products.

**lom** · 30-06-2016, 08:12 PM

8.25 or thereabout

**Neverna** · 30-06-2016, 09:05 PM

I'll up my stake to 9.50

**boloa** · 30-06-2016, 09:15 PM

6.95

**ENT** · 30-06-2016, 09:23 PM

Second guess,..7.95

**stroller** · 30-06-2016, 09:29 PM

... and 2.90 for the coke.

**somtamslap** · 30-06-2016, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by lom

8.25 or thereabout

Too low

Originally Posted by Neverna

I'll up my stake to 9.50

Too high

I think we've just about established a ballpark figure though and can therefore conclude this is a fucking expensive (and very rainy and shit) country.

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