Your weekly shop

**Dillinger** · 18-05-2014, 03:24 PM

Where's the shopping then Slap or are you waiting til 9pm to join the old dears on the bargain hunt?

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 03:54 PM

^ I shall be shopping at around 2pm - although there's a pub opposite Waitrose so I'll see you next Thursday.

**Dillinger** · 18-05-2014, 03:57 PM

I won't wait up then

**Necron99** · 18-05-2014, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

^ I shall be shopping at around 2pm - although there's a pub opposite Waitrose so I'll see you next Thursday.

Get a window seat in the pub and watch the traffic.
When you see a sufficiently elderly person exit waitrose with what looks like a sizable shop go knock'em over and nic their stuff.

Sort of a mystery shop....

**Dillinger** · 18-05-2014, 04:21 PM

Swing her around and upload the you tube vid here first like the Romanian guy.

Better still. do a drunken shop on an empty stomach. That should curtail your lust for salads,sardines and other fudgenudgeresque consumables

**Bettyboo** · 18-05-2014, 04:35 PM

Go into the pub opposite Waitrose, drink, find an attractive women and ask her for help - give her 30 pounds and ask her to do a weekly shop at Waitrose for you, then wait to see what she brings you...

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 04:43 PM

Good ideas.

But I shan't be letting intoxication get in the way of what promises to be the best shopping I've ever done in my life.

Watch this space - things are about to get seriously tasty.

**Necron99** · 18-05-2014, 04:44 PM

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Go into the pub opposite Waitrose, drink, find an attractive women

In a pup in Croydon???

Waaaahahahahahahahahaha........

**Bettyboo** · 18-05-2014, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Necron99

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Go into the pub opposite Waitrose, drink, find an attractive women

In a pup in Croydon???

Waaaahahahahahahahahaha........

Hi.I enjoy the simple things in life.I like to have a laugh with my close friends in clubs or a pub

OR

Hi..I'm sarah I'm 22 I live in croydon I'm lookin for a genuine guy to date no guys msgs me dat r ova 25 plz x

OR

I`m Kristina Khoo by name, My Father is from Singapore while My mother is a British which made me Singaporean British Citizen.

That's just a few of the options available to LoverSlaps...

Croydon Women, Croydon Single Women, Croydon Girls, Croydon Single Girls

Alternatively:

Croydon Escorts | Eve London Escorts £99 p/h | 07949 486 598

Slaps, that's: zero, seven, nine...

**Dillinger** · 18-05-2014, 07:49 PM

While we're all waiting for Slap to spunk all his dough in the fruit machine after finishing the express cryptic crossword and being mugged off by the barnaid

Guess this fukker, ,,,,

**Bettyboo** · 18-05-2014, 08:23 PM

Where were they bought?

If in Thailand, I'd say 1150 baht.

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 08:56 PM

1900 baht

**withnallstoke** · 18-05-2014, 09:07 PM

1,542 baht.

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 09:10 PM

So for the Ready, Steady Slap challenge, we have...

2 x kippers
black pudding
chicken liver
avocado
salad onion
tomato
peppers
cucumber
lettuce
broccoli and cauliflower medley
onions
olives
3 x microwave meals
4 x kronenberg

and some shower gel...

£_________________

**Dillinger** · 18-05-2014, 09:25 PM

Mmmmm.... kippers.
Explain how that's a weekly shop though? I see 2 meals, sex toys and 2 breakfasts.
Is Betty stopping over?

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 09:28 PM

Even meals only.

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Is Betty stopping over?

No. I reserve the rights to defile that cucumber.

**Dillinger** · 18-05-2014, 09:37 PM

Great guess by the way shopper slap, 'twas 197.78 ringgit, judging the shrapnel left in my right pocket

**Necron99** · 18-05-2014, 09:49 PM

Should rename this game cook is poof and be done with it.

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 10:25 PM

Originally Posted by Necron99

Should rename this game cook is poof and be done with it.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

black pudding

Black pudding is most definitely not a poof.

**Bettyboo** · 18-05-2014, 10:32 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

2 x kippers
black pudding
chicken liver
avocado
salad onion
tomato
peppers
cucumber
lettuce
broccoli and cauliflower medley
onions
olives
3 x microwave meals
4 x kronenberg

and some shower gel...

That's a lightweight shop, just under 20 squids, say 18 pounds and 94 pennies.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Black pudding is most definitely poof.

I agree. Slaps, do you like to wear a skirt while speaking in a French accent? We have a new word, and just wondered if you qualify...

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 10:35 PM

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

We have a new word, and just wondered if you qualify...

Where did the word originate? Link please.

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

That's a lightweight shop, just under 20 squids, say 18 pounds and 94 pennies.

Noted, Betsy.

**Necron99** · 18-05-2014, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Originally Posted by Necron99

Should rename this game cook is poof and be done with it.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

black pudding

Black pudding is most definitely not a poof.

thoughts of wrapping your lips around a piece of BLOOD FILLED SAUSAGE is, quite frankly, about as screaming, mincing Elton John poof as you can get.

FACT!

**Bettyboo** · 18-05-2014, 10:45 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Where did the word originate? Link please.

D44, with a bit of help from me and Stoker...

**chassamui** · 18-05-2014, 10:49 PM

It's all in the name:

"Black pudding, bubble and squeak and a fried egg with mustard sauce"

can be sold for 4 times as much when described thus:

"Pan-fried black pudding served with a poached egg on a bed of lightly crushed pan fried organic vegetables and a mustard cream sauce".

You can then treble that price by adding to it:

"Seared and pan-fried black pudding (from locally sourced, ethically reared Gloucester Old Spot) served with a (free range) poached quails egg on a bed of lightly crushed pan fried organic vegetables. Served with and a mustard cream sauce and garnished with organic pea shoot leaves".

Why is a southern poof eating a common northern dish?

**somtamslap** · 18-05-2014, 11:26 PM

Originally Posted by chassamui

"Seared and pan-fried black pudding

Mm mmm! Gonna start chomping into my shopping I think.

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