I woke up this morning and picked a 4 inch icicle from my left nostril. There are reasons for this unprecedented plucking..
They come in the form of a bitter north easterly breeze which has in turn reduced my hooter into a state of perpetual drizzle. The word 'radiator' is apparently not translatable into Retard and heaters are no where to be found..not even in bastard Tesco..selfish fuckers..half their clientele are foreign so they should go about researching their/our needs in greater depth.
In short, it's fucking freezing. I sleep in a jumper and tracksuit trousers and I still wake up half way through the night, teeth chattering with genitals reduced to a rather unimpressive collection of objects.
But, I'll stop moaning about it because I love it..the heat in this country is oppressive and turns even the greatest minds into quivering, lethargic spastics..go figure.
You know, you just know, if temperatures in England and Thailand were to be reversed then the English would go from a competitive economy to a developing shitehole within a fortnight.
So in Issan and I dare say every other region in the country, it is now just passed harvest time. A period when the farmers sit back counting their baht and the days up to the next harvest. Of course, some are more thrifty than others and will survive on jungle pluckings and river water all year round, as oppose to those who, as soon as they collect their poultry wages, develope an accute thirst for alcohol and go about drinking a years work in 48 hours.
Let's survey the wreckage..
A field of recently picked corn..now ideal for cobra and viper lurking..fantastic!!
The custard apple trees have done their bit and have now been cut back in preparation for the start of their next harvest come August..
My plot still requires trimming..I'll get round to it...later..
This sugar cane plantation is still going strong though, I think it takes about a year for them to sufficiently mature..
The dragon fruit trees have been trimmed back and are already starting to grow back rapidly..
Random piles of shite dumped throughout the area ready to be administered as fertiliser..
Best not stand under this cluster of jackfruit too long, don't want a medieval style weapon falling on my bonce..
Thai scaffolding, best in the world..
Finally, for those with a bit more poke in their wallets..buy a few dozen of these and your set..all sorts of mercs and beamers parked in the owners driveway..
Oh well. It'll only get warmer from here on in..unfortunately..