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  1. #101
    RIP pseudolus's Avatar
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    I don't think I have seen a 30m baht one. Go on post a new thread. I'll protect you on it honest. It will work best if you post a picture of the girl as well as a warning to fellow posters. Pitch it along the lines above "he's a stupid Kunt... however..."

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntRobertson View Post
    Great story and well written
    Ditto that, great read!

    Tell me though, what's it like to be bitten (stung?) by a Scorpion?
    I can tell you that. I was bitten by one when I just picked up a piece of timber, he was underneath, my wife showed me that you first have to disturb all things with a stick before you handle it. Anyway, the impression I got was it didnt feel like a sting, it felt like a hundred stings all in the same place, on the end of my thumd, it is very painful with the pain going right up your arm and into your shoulder, In 24 hours it will be gone.

  3. #103
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    Slap
    Was the scorpion the large black variety or the much smaller brown kind?

    Anybody that knows,or has been stung will know why I ask!

    The large red ants that nest in trees bite does sting granted but its not that bad,nest are easy to spot the tell tale sign of hundreds marching to and throw gives it away. The smaller red ants that nest in the ground are much more painful and harder to see in condition you describe.
    The small Bastards would have been much more of a problem in truth.

    How the fuck do you get trench foot working on a mountain,water tends to run down hill?
    Even in the rainy season once the rain stops everything is dry within half hour.

    Clearing virgin jungle with a strimmer and a machete,did no cnut have a chain saw?.
    You would expect many large trees in such a place,did you and withnall hump them out or just roll them down the mountain!.

    Good tale but Im not buying it as gospel

  4. #104
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    Wonderful story, great to hear about a mann who stands up to life and kicks ass.

  5. #105
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    What a great read all credit to you others would have taken the easy way out and robbed a farang of his holiday money. I wish you well for the future good luck !!!!!!!

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    Good tale but Im not buying it as gospel
    It does exactly what it says on the tin, David..

  7. #107
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    I've only just come across this tale ( in January 2013 ) ....... and I loved it . Pithy , witty ...... and very warm ! Good stuff !!!
    That's Slap for you, he's all those things.

    Well, except warm. He's a heartless bastard.

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntRobertson
    He's a heartless bastard.
    A scandalous fabrication. Twas only t'other day that I gave great uncle Gonads 100 baht to drink himself to death with..

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    nest are easy to spot


    No David. No they aren't.

  10. #110
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Slapper.

    Will this motivate you to write somemore about being skint and slaving away in the bastard jungle whilst all around you are being on holiday?

  11. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    you are being on holiday?
    I went on holiday by mistake..

  12. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    Good tale but Im not buying it as gospel
    It does exactly what it says on the tin, David..
    Yes its a fine tale, look forward to another.

    The ants nest you refer to are easy to spot as I said,Thousands of large red ants going up and down a tree is the only pointer needed!

  13. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    The ants nest you refer to are easy to spot as I said,Thousands of large red ants going up and down a tree is the only pointer needed!
    We're talking about the jungle here, Dave. They are literally fucking everywhere. In trees, on the floor, in my pants, upper bunghole...

  14. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    The ants nest you refer to are easy to spot as I said,Thousands of large red ants going up and down a tree is the only pointer needed!
    We're talking about the jungle here, Dave. They are literally fucking everywhere. In trees, on the floor, in my pants, upper bunghole...
    They work as a unit mate,they tend not to spread out to far.


    I liked the tale but the Virgin jungle,ants,scorpion and trench foot quotes I took with a hand full of salt!

    What type of scorpion stung you by the way?
    Was that in the trees or ground level?

  15. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    I liked the tale but the Virgin jungle,ants,scorpion and trench foot quotes I took with a hand full of salt!
    I left out the bit where I beat up a reticulated pythin with my knob though, Dave..


    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    What type of scorpion stung you by the way?
    A large black one. Sting wouldn't stop ballooning so I went to the pharmacy where I was prescribed aloe vera..

  16. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    I liked the tale but the Virgin jungle,ants,scorpion and trench foot quotes I took with a hand full of salt!
    I left out the bit where I beat up a reticulated pythin with my knob though, Dave..


    Quote Originally Posted by Gravesend Dave
    What type of scorpion stung you by the way?
    A large black one. Sting wouldn't stop ballooning so I went to the pharmacy where I was prescribed aloe vera..
    I have killed many of them as well as the much smaller brown ones.

    Every other week or so I spend a couple of hours looking for the fuckers,around and near by the in laws house.Purpose being to reduce the risk of the kids getting stung.

    No doubt if stung by either its goner hurt but the smaller one is much worst by far.

    I had an allergic reaction to a wasp sting in the U.K (Two nights in hospital ) so am pretty much dreading how my body would react to these and other nasty Bastards that live here!

  17. #117
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    been stung by scorpions dozens of times over the years while out tapping rubber trees in the wee hours.And believe me they hurt like hell.

  18. #118
    Molecular Mixup
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    I love somtamslap new av
    here's a closer look,
    fantastic photo

  19. #119
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    Nice thread, this.
    Once upon a time, I visited a small, Euro-style resort nestled behind a Wat to the West of Chiang Mai.

    In the centre of this small yet elegant resort was a small garden of indigenous plantings all of which was exquisitely manicured by a lanky Dutchman.

    One afternoon, while sitting on the deck at the garden's edge I observed how a long line of dangerous-looking red ants (1 cm) marched along the railing and across the wrist and fore-arm of the Dutch Gardener who had created the garden. Symbiosis ?

  20. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue View Post
    I love somtamslap new av
    here's a closer look,
    fantastic photo
    yes, that slap sure is a fine looking fellow.

  21. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koojo View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by blue View Post
    I love somtamslap new av
    here's a closer look,
    fantastic photo
    yes, that slap sure is a fine looking fellow.
    And colour coordinated as well....
    Classic white-on-white.
    Can't go wrong with that fashion statement.

  22. #122
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    wethered...

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Hi Folks,

    This is a follow on from the Samui bar owner thread which I started a while ago....

    Not so many moons ago, I was skint. Not skint as in "oh woe is me, I'm down to my last 200,000 bt in the bank" I mean S-K-I-N-T.
    I'd just come out of a 3 year love hate relationship with the pub that I had leased and to be honest it had left me in pretty bad shape, physically and mentally.
    Owning a watering hole in such an environment is a very demanding vocation, you simply MUST get pissed and get pissed I did.

    Anyway, the pub was gone, but I remained, barely. The place was full of people like me, wethered souls with deep suntans, swigging from empty bottles of Chang which had been finished half an hour previously thus taking on the effect of a comfort blanket..
    gosh, that's so bad. Fancy making a wether of you. The unkindest cut of all. broke, ok, but to have the old rubber ring around your vital parts is terrible.

  23. #123
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    And colour coordinated as well.... Classic white-on-white. Can't go wrong with that fashion statement.
    And the buffalo hide hat makes a bold statement! Well done, Slap.

  24. #124
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    I think it's the topiary facial fuzz that really ties the ensemble together..

  25. #125
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    Great story and very well written. It is experiences like that I find mould people into who they are. Well done you.

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