The only way is up: Land's End to John o' Groats 2015

[somtamslap]

Would a £100 a day average cover it???

Easily. If you book in advance, B&Bs the length of the UK would cost about £30 per night, and they of course come with breakfast which in the main should keep you going until lunchtime-ish. I used to graze on petrol station fare on the forecourt for my midday meal which would be no more than a fiver, and a large evening meal and a few pints (especially if you can find a Wetherspoons) around 20 quid. Accommodation is key.

[somtamslap]

Day 14: Tain - Thurso

The big push up through the never never - remote, rainy, the toughest day of the trip, but also the most scenic. I'd been going about things in a fairly stoic manner up until this point, but upon reaching Thurso - 19 miles from the top - I was sufficiently moved to part with a little fist pump.

Miles: 100.6

Elevation: 4,633ft

Moving time: 8hrs 05mins

Elapsed time: 9hrs 45mins

Calories: 4,819

[patsycat]

How do you work out the calories burned?

[somtamslap]

^Wattage, Pats - although my Garmin (cycling computer) is essentially guessing, but it's a ballpark figure.

[somtamslap]

The following day after a lazy breakfast; no Lorne sausage, though, I was fucking dismayed - the final 20 miles was ridden.

And that was enough of that nonsense...

[Neverna]

An inspiring trip report, Slap, and a jolly good read. Maybe, maybe, one day I will have the balls to even think about doing it myself.

But probably not.

[patsycat]

I thought you may have had a sort of ASBO ankle bracelet on.

[chassamui]

A fine report and well detailed follow up. Point well made about accommodation. Time for TD members to step up and offer a garden shed, garage, carport or barn to sleep in for the Thai trip.

[Topper]

Well done Slap. How much cycling have you done since?

[Gerbil]

Why is it not actually the most northern point according to that map?

You better go back and do it again and go to the right place this time

[somtamslap]

Cheers chaps - had to milk that one for all it was worth Won't be doing anything like that for a bit.

Maybe, maybe, one day I will have the balls to even think about doing it myself.

Just time and money is all it requires. Fitness is acquired en route. Amphetamine is also be a useful addition to the saddlebag.

Time for TD members to step up and offer a garden shed, garage, carport or barn to sleep in for the Thai trip.

Yes, but accommodation in Thailand would barely factor into the trip costs - 5 quid here 10 quid there. It's the post-ride daily entertainment which would rack up the price of the journey.

How much cycling have you done since?

One ride of 40 miles, and everything stopped working.

I'm going to focus on train travel a bit more from now on.

[somtamslap]

Why is it not actually the most northern point according to that map?

I thought Betty Hill right on the north coast was enough - you couldn't get any more northerly. I celebrated in a little shop with a can of cherry coke and a smoke.

Smoked more on that trip than I do normally, and drank more.

[withnallstoke]

Smoked more on that trip than I do normally, and drank more.

Ate more as well i reckon.

[somtamslap]

I'm still highly flatulent from the affair.

Check your phone messages for audio evidence of this.

[Topper]

I'm still highly flatulent from the affair.

And this differs from the norm in what manner?

[somtamslap]

And this differs from the norm in what manner?

I'm still digesting a fortnight's worth of cooked breakfasts here. Utter devastation within the underpants.

[Topper]

Utter devastation within the underpants.

Look on the bright side, those sitting with you on the train will have a great story to tell their friends.

[patsycat]

Why did you get paid, how did you get paid? How much.

I thought this was just a little jaunt out of boredom coz the family isn't there. two weeks holidays off i go...

But, pats noticed, not a little jaunt with lots of stop offs or not(edinburgh, i was there at the time), this was 'ard cycling.

And the lack of beautful piccies of the Highlands, and Grantown on Spey etc. are lacking.

I am sure that you feel good that you did that epic cycle in such a good time, but did you really enjoy it?

Would you do it again, but a bit more slowly.

And, yes, Cecil is my new AV cos that murdering bastard dentist went back to work without a care in the fucking world.

And nobody get at me, i am asking serious questions. And no i could not even walk to my local supermarket... well maybe. Let alone get on a bike and ride that far.

For that i take my hat off to you Slaps- I don't green or red. but send you lots of greens.

[Topper]

Would you do it again, but a bit more slowly.

Probably not the first time a lady has said that to him.....

[patsycat]

LOL ish

(too short an answer)

[Topper]

LOL ish

(too short an answer)

Again, that's probably not the first time he's heard a lady comment about length.....

[patsycat]

I have been penis less for at least two years, and i am well.

[lom]

I'm getting paid for the gig.

Slap the ambulating undercover Wetherspoons inspector.

[somtamslap]

Slap the ambulating undercover Wetherspoons inspector.

I may as well be. Watch this space for an insightful report into the country's most popular pub chain. Oswestry was up there among my favourites.

I have been penis less for at least two years, and i am well.

Bollocks still intact though, Pats?

[Dillinger]

Watch this space for an insightful report into the country's most popular pub chain

Knew this was coming,

How much ?