great stuff Slaps.
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great stuff Slaps.
Walking whilst pushing a bike is one of the most awful experiences at the best of times. I hope you had plenty of grog and punished the bike.
I was even offered a lift into town by a rather affable farming wench. Thought about it long and hard before declining the offer - every last inch of the journey had to be powered by the legs. Quite pleased I did that in hindsight.Quote:
Originally Posted by chassamui
Day nine: Kendal - Annan
A real landmark. This is when I knew I was going to finish the fucker. But quite the contrary to feeling any kind of elation, I was despondent, depressed even... I'd have to spend at least another four twatting days in the saddle.
As you can see, the profile peaks out at 1,500 feet. This was a traverse of Shap Fell on the A6 - it was a nice gentle ascent, unlike anything in Cornwall and Devon.
Miles: 76.8
Elevation: 4,577
Moving time: 6hrs 24mins
Elapsed time: 9hrs 26mins
Calories: 3,827
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2015/09/497.jpg
You could have got a lift into town picked up some new tyres at halfords, cycled back to her barn, had her knickers down in some haystack, uploaded the pics to here and started again.Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
You selfish barstard
An ode to false summits would be appropiate here.Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Ripped from a random cycling blog:
Quote:
by thirdcrank » Thttps://teakdoor.com/images/smilies1/You_Rock_Emoticon.gifhu Feb 05, 2009 4:31 pm
I think a lot of the historic notoriety of Shap Fell was that (as it implies on that memorial) pre-M6 it was the main route England to Scotland on the Western side of the country. It regularly used to be one of the first trunk roads to be closed in bad weather.
Donkey's years ago, probably during the 1963 big freeze up, Alan Coren did a piece in Punch which was a series of spoof news flashes about the weather. One was 'A helicopter has been used to drop hay to a party of nuns, stranded on Shap...'
It's an exposed place in winter, but for cyclists in Summer it's just a slog.
Did she look like this?Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2015/09/533.jpg
Hasn't Punter got the scantily-clad sluts market cornered? Anyway, this was nine days into the trip and my penis had all but vanished.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillinger
Nice digging, Chaz. A slog it was, but a polite one. Pop her in granny gear and admire the view.Quote:
Originally Posted by chassamui
^^ They all look like that, CS - from Wales upwards.
So, you had a jolly little jaunt on a two week holiday.
Have you totted up how much the exercise cost you? How does it compare to a couple of weeks in Bognor Regis?
^ Bognor is full of Do-as-you-likeys
I'm getting paid for the gig. But the initial hit out of my pocket cost me quite a bit more than I'd anticipated - mainly on food and beer.Quote:
Originally Posted by palexxxx
I'm sure it was because you didn't realize how many calories you'd burn, nobody would ever accuse you of being a drunken glutton after all....Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Top work fella - rock on.Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Day 10: Annan - Peebles
If you are ever in the area, with a bike or a car or a fucking pogo stick, I can't urge you to try this route enough. The first few miles up to Lockerbie aren't anything special, but as soon as you hit Moffat the scenery gets spectacular. And to cap of a splendid day, Peebles even has a Wetherspoons hotel. Get involved, people. It makes sense.
Miles: 67.4
Elevation: 3,123ft
Moving time: 5hrs 32mins
Elapsed time: 7hrs 03mins
Calories: 3,299
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2015/09/541.jpg
What changed...or did it....Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Day 11
Peebles - Perth
Not may favourite day's riding. An A road all the way to Edinburgh, and then, after much faffing, onto the Forth Bridge which shit me up - the railings are about a foot high. The journey onto Perth was free of drama and the rain considered stopping for a few fleeting moments, which was nice.
Miles: 68.2
Moving time: 5hrs 41mins
Elapsed time: 7hrs 11mins
Calories: 3,157
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2015/09/543.jpg
Up and down. Mornings were generally full of optimism and appreciation for what I was doing. The afternoons were usually full of cursing, and the evenings, in turn, were full of fucking beer.Quote:
Originally Posted by CSFFan
Well done, sir. I'd have thought the mornings were moments of "WTF am I doing and why did I drink so much last night" with the afternoons being "I made it twenty miles without shitting myself as the lorries went by at 140 kph. Well done, I deserve a pint or twelve!"Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Quality.Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Day 12: Perth - Aviemore
Into the Highlands proper against a real twat of a headwind in the rain.
Happened upon an old abandoned shed halfway up the main ascent, rolled a cigarette and thought about having a little cry. Fortunately I was still in the frame of mind to be able to give myself a thorough fucking dressing down, and on we plodded...
Miles: 92.4
Elevation: 4,108ft
Moving time: 7hrs 34mins
Elapsed time: 9hrs 19mins
Calories: 4,498
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2015/09/545.jpg
Good job you didn't do a left turn and take the scenic route through the Lakes:tieme:Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
https://teakdoor.com/images/smilies1/You_Rock_Emoticon.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
Yes, I didn't do that on purpose :yup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
Day 13: Aviemore - Tain
Bit disappointed with today's ride. As usual, cities tend to fuck the fluidity of a ride right up. I was advised by a bike shop owner in Aviemore to head to Beauly once I reached Inverness - this ended up taking me west for about 20 miles, and we aren't about going west here. I wanted to make it to Laig, but it's very remote and by the time I'd made it around Inverness it was getting late so I stopped in Tain, setting up a mammoth slog for the following day.
Miles: 81
Elevation: 3,320
Moving time: 6hrs 36mins
Elapsed time: 8hrs 07mins
Calories: 3,759
https://teakdoor.com/images/imported/2015/09/656.jpg
So all in how much did the trip cost in total, hotels, food, booze etc??? Would a £100 a day average cover it???