^ Tell that to Reachy, oh and thanks for the Red Jeff
You're both banned for life for your gross over-reactions.
Home Pro paradise Park need gps to find our way around, and needed help to find the bloody check out.
Rather suspicious of the random and unconscious Jesus references.
Quite telling.
It's a sign of membership of a special club, Jeff. Only 12+1 members are allowed in it.
Not really a moan, but seems the best place for it.
I cross a bridge everyday to and from work, and often there is a beggar encamped out. Yesterday evening was the same. Raggedyassed bloke, cup out, sign written on cardboard - the whole kit and kaboodle.
Somewhat spoiled by the fact that he was yakking away on his hand phone, which looked like a mid range Samsung.
I don’t know how life in Thailand is supposed to end, but it’s not panning out well.
Nothing wrong with wanting bread, is there?
So I tell wifey to call Tops Central and check if they have two loaves of my bread, dark American rye, 2kg, 290 bt. One loaf isn’t worth the trip, but two will see me through a fortnight. Long story, eventually get through and she’s asked the guy to go check. I keep trying to remind her to tell him 2 loaves not one, but get shushed each time as that requires multitasking and a potential wreck…more yak yak, she gives him my phone number, kaa, and hangs up.
She: He’s gone to check.
Me: Did you tell him two loaves?
She: <no answer, which means no>
Me: Yes?
She: He’s gone to check, if they have one maybe they will have two.
Me: <chewing my tongue, be careful what you say next> It’s not worth going all that way for one loaf…is it?
She: Ok
Me: <not sure what that means>
He calls back, they have.
Me: do they have two?
She: <yak yak> he’s going to check…<wait>…yes.
I gesture frantically to pause for further instructions, which she relays to him: I want the two loaves cut into quarters, that’s 8 quarters (yes I did the math out loud), sliced and bagged separately, which means 8 bags for the eight quarters.
Tops opened 2009, and almost weekly since I have bought my weekly loaf, quartered into 4 bags; mostly these transactions were smooth after the first couple of years as they became familiar with my incredibly complicated demands, sometimes not quite smooth, and I know this will go wrong because even with heightened focus at the Tops end my weekly loaf has become a fortnightly two loaves, so under the best case scenario this could turn into a horror movie. But still banging away in the hope that I can buy a couple loaves of bread without a major issue.
Next in my flowchart is revision, repeat and relay everything back, response appeared positive from the other end though I sensed her nods were more from nerves than confidence; it will be at customer services, thanks and I’m on my way. In a perfect world I will arrive in about 20, pick up and pay for my 8 bags, and be back in another 20.
Scene Two; Tops Central, Customer Services:
Me: Hi, I’ve come for my bread, two dark American rye.
She: No.
Me: <going wrong, didn’t expect it so early> No what?
She: You want bread?
Me: Yes, it should be here.
She: <dismissively> Bread over there.
Me: <leaning over the counter to check, eight bags should be easy to spot> I called and they said it would be here.
She: Who say?
Me: Whoever I spoke to.
She: No have bread.
I was about to ask for the manageress but spotted two paper bags about the right size resting on a shelf just outside the services counter, pointed to them and went to check with her in tow, yes they’re mine, price is right, but two bags not eight.
Ripped one bag open, 4 unsliced clingfilmed quarters, same with the other bag, explained that I would like them sliced and bagged separately, which visibly dragged the proceedings to a new low and had them discussing what to do next. One took the standard line, said cannot, so I asked for the manageress, a wonderful young lady btw, speaks excellent English and also understands that farangs expect a certain level of service which is sometimes beyond the best on offer.
Now we know frontline staff panic at the thought of boss turning up to resolve an issue, esp when as likely they will lose face, so one decided let’s take a quarter to the bread counter and see if they will slice it. Sure they will, that’s what their frigging slicer is for! Returned a minute later for the lot, and I’m still alive so looks can’t kill.
While I’m waiting, and stewing, cutie of about 4 turns up with a bag of crisps or whatever, stretches to edge it onto the counter and barely followed through with a 20bt note, clearly excited in anticipation; cashier scans it, shakes her head and asks for more money, not sure if cutie knew what was going on but looks for mum/dad, not found, cashier leans over to return her money, cutie disappointed and squeaks something in Thai with trembling lower lip, and at that moment I reckon even TDs cnut of the year would have stepped in to make up the deficit; I asked how much, 19 bt more, bunged over a 20, took and opened the bag, offered her the first of I still don’t know what, snapped the baht change into her hand and off she skipped none the wiser.
Otherwise an uneventful evening, finally got my bread how I like it though they clipped me 6 bt for two reusable bags, and no need to undergo the trauma for another couple of weeks.
Still having problems with your bread demands, jabir? Why don't you just cut it yourself? It would make your shopping experience so much easier.
Anything as complicated* as that, much better to buy the bags, buy two loaves with a smile, get home and slice n bag it yerself.
*Something other than typing in the PLU then handing it to you.
Btw, once you have the product the way you want it, take a photo of it all sliced and bagged, then next time just show them the photo on your phone. A picture paints a thousand commands and instructions.
^ 2 greens + 6, divided by two, minus three greens, on the way for that post, Luigi. Bring your own bag, though. Collect at your local Tops bread counter.
Stop it!
Great post, I can feel the experience.
&, it's very commendable to live in THailand for many years and still have expectations. I salute the Jabir!
Things I learned pretty quickly here.
Withdraw xx,900thb from ATMs.
What do you mean you don't have change you fokin' fokwit, you're a fokin' shop.
The idea of a cash float hasn't really happened here yet.
If you want them to do something remotely different to how a 512kb robot would do it, show them a picture of what and how you want it done. Nothing to do with language, a Thai can explain it to them and they still won't be able to comprehend what's happening. Just the difference is the Thai will smile and accept 2 loaves with the crusts cut-off, the Westerner will wonder how difficult it is to cut 2 loaves of bread into 8 quarters.
Once I bought a baguette at the newly opened Carrefour. The man bagging the goods politely folded it in half and placed it in the bag.
It's win some lose some.
Had an Eastern-European immigrant pour our after-dinner port as if it was red wine one winter back home.
We did merrily order 2 or 3 more.
Though in Thailand it is mainly 'lose'.
Imagine living in Sausages Idyl in the west;
When and got groceries...it was uneventful
Went to a Restaurant and tog what i ordered
Asked for something at a shop and teh assistant took me straight to it
Asked for advice in a shop on a product and they took me straight to someone who's been an expert in that product all their life
instead
you go to a petrol station and they fill you car up, smile and wipe your windscreen
you walk around and people are laughing and joking
you dress to leave your house and put on 5 layers then remember its 85 deg F outside and you just need to go and picjk up the fallen mangoes
.....
Imagine living in the west and not having someone to type correctly for you...
Ahh yes, been there done that - great story Jabir green owed.
Communications: What I said, what I meant, what she heard, what she thought I wanted, what I should have wanted as modified by the boss lady - what I got...
Now, the good side of foreign marriages - neither of use knows the others language good enough for a real argument, my missus is a master of the silent treatment and, of course, doing what she damn well pleases irregardless of the many, many times my good intentioned advisement of the negative consequences of her proposed actions have proven to be true. And, yes, occasionally the shoe is on the other foot - bite tongue and curse - not necessarily under my breath - jai yen yen, jai yen yen
The many joys of foreign marriages and expatriation...
Good moaning folks, I've got to go back today. Wife gets to stay a couple of months longer.
Jabir's been out here too long...cutting loaves into quarters, no wonder they give him a strange look.
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